To ask what kind of childcare is best for us?

[juggler825]

Hoping wise mn can help me to figure out what the best childcare option is for DS and I.

I am a single parent, starting a new job in a few months which will require shift work - 4 days out of 7 per week, a mixture of earlies, lates and nights.

Have 1 ds aged 5. No special needs or health requirements.

I need childcare to cover me when I am at work. I have other support (parents, siblings, cousins, 2 babysitters) who help me out so I don't expect to need additional hours above and beyond my shifts and I don't need help with housework, cooking etc (apart from cooking for DS while taking care of him). And when I'm off, I'm with DS obviously.

I am happy to have someone live in, and have space for this. But I don't know if an au pair shouldn't be covering nights, that seemed to be a bit of a grey area? Is a nanny a better option? Are they generally willing to work to those shift patterns? Do they live in or live out?

ExH lives abroad but sees DS relatively frequently so there would be no care required over half term, Christmas, Easter and about half of summer holidays. Don't know if that makes a difference.

Aware that shifts will be an adjustment for both DS and I so priority is stability and consistency.

Would love to hear your experiences and advice.

How far in advance do you know your shifts? Because the big challenge is that someone who is happy to work mornings, might not be willing to do afternoons or evenings. Or whatever. So the longer you know your shifts in advance, the easier an appropriate solution can be found.

I'm not 100% sure about an au pair but I think they CAN cover shifts. It's certainly a cheaper option. Not sure if au pairs these days are also supposed to be studying or whatever so that's something to take into account. As above, if you have a shift schedule well in advance, then the au pair should be able to fit in with that (assuming there's no studying or other things he/she might be committed to).

That's also true of a nanny - I think you could advertise for one who could work with your shift patters. But it would only work if you could agree a definitive period in advance for which she would need to know her shifts the following week/ month. Otherwise she's in limbo sitting around waiting for you to tell her when she's needed. But if you're working say 30 hours a week, and you can guarantee 30 hours a week and you can come to an agreement about what the scope of those hours are, the time frame in which you have to have the times confirmed etc, then you might well find someone.

Thanks for that! I'll have 4 weeks notice.

With four weeks notice I think you could find someone - nanny or au pair (obviously, out of the house childcare is likely to be impractical). key is explaining in advance that your hours are variable but that you get your shift four weeks in advance and so they will too - ie they'll have a similar shift issue to you. Seems workable.

Aupair vs nanny comes down to you - do you want someone in the house and to save the money or not. Au pair is definitely cheaper etc.

However, I personally prefer a nanny. I don't like people in my space. But even without that, the more professional approach of a nanny works for me - a good nanny will listen to what you need and want and implement accordingly. She'll also go off script in an an appropriate way as necessary eg to deal with sickness, spontaneous events etc. And with erratic hours, and someone who may have to handle a variety of things from early mornings to late nights and middle-of-night illnesses, I'd have thought that was a better option. But it's a lot more expensive.

Just be aware you won't get any help towards childcare whatsoever from universal/tax credits/tax free towards a nanny or an au pair.

I would look for a flexible child minder.

@raspberryk - I've never heard of a childminder who will have the DC late at night on a regular basis? Many do babysitting at home, and sure, I guess you could find one who'd agree in advance to do most, if not all, of your late shifts. But what about early mornings? I think a childminder of this sort would be like gold dust because they need to know how many children they have as a standard as they have set limits etc.

You can use tax free childcare with a nanny although they need to be registered.

It’s exactly what I do as a childminder providing overnight care, Blingloving

We cover shift patterns, too. I know that childminder numbers are declining, but I’m sure I can’t be unusual - certainly didn’t used to be!

I know loads of nurses who use child minders for shift work and I know a few locally who do very early am and will cover lates too.
The OP said she has family help so there's the potential she may not need overnight cover.

You could nanny share also.

Thanks for your replies. To clarify, I would need someone to cover the overnights, family could help sometimes but it's too big an ask for them to cover it all, and I really want DS to sleep in his own bed instead of at DGPs.
It sounds from the replies like either option is possible though, it'll just be a matter of weighing up the pros and cons.