To tell my sister to just F off.

[YouDoYou18]

My DD is a year old next month and pretty much we’ve since she was born my sister has made annoying comments about my parenting. ‘Should you so that?’ ‘Have you washed your hands?’ ‘She’s going to fall because she shouldn’t be on the sofa’

It’s infuriating, yes she shouldn’t be left on the sofa, but I’m perfectly okay with her sat next to me snuggled in.

Well today she made a comment and I just snapped and told her that I don’t need her to keep criticising my parenting and to just bloody well piss off.

Now apparently I’m in the wrong, I should have just ‘left it’ and she ‘wasn’t hurting anyone’

AIBU??

She doesn’t have any children of her own...

🙄 Yeah it's usually always the way. If she does have kids someday, she's going to be intolerable.

She can pull her bloody head in.

Particularly in your own home.

And your mother needs to stop pandering to your sister, and to expect you to do so also.

Hell, why not just say that - in for a penny, in for a pound, lol.

My mother was the one who told me I should have just left it and she wasn’t hurting anyone.

Except she was, and sounds extremely petty and immature for an apparent adult, aided by a very indulgent Mum.

Does your sister have form for being so rude and obnoxious?

Next time she says it reply with "you should get a job and move into your own place" then when she acts offended say " it was just some sisterly advice, i am not hurting anyone" see how she likes taking the criticism.

And don't let your mum tell you what to do either. If she says "you should have just left it" say " i will do and say what i like in my own home. I don't have to take criticism from either of you."

Maybe I am reading between the lines but it sounds to me like you have been the passive one avoiding conflict and this is allowing them to think they can tell you what to do

I had assumed she doesn't have kids. It's always the childfree ones who have the most to say. My sister and I are really excited to see what happens when our brother has his first child. hahahaha.

Her comment, "yeah, it hurts your feelings but I'm not wrong" is seriously worrying because it means that emotions aside, she clearly has no idea how wrong she actually is here not just in her behaviour but in at least some of her suggestions. The couch thing had me baffled frankly - I am not sure I know a single person who wouldn't have allowed a 1 year old to sit on a couch by itself. Ditto when to wash hands etc. Tedious, but perhaps google everything she says and send her articles that refute it? It COULD get entertaining . Perhaps you and DH could play "drinking-stupid-comments-from-Sister" if only to get through the whole experience?

Here we are: nothing about not letting the child sit on the sofa: www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/baby-safety-tips/

You don’t like being told what to do but you don’t mind telling somebody else what to do.

You need to say sorry.

"Actually, sis, you are wrong and you need to zip it. You need to stop being that obnoxious know it all childless perfect parent, because you're not a parent and you don't know it all."

I wouldn't have her round, that would drive me insane. I had a situation visiting somebody's house who I had only met once before and had had one child some 30 years earlier. I had a 14 year old DD at the time and DS was newborn. She went on and on about what I was doing wrong, in front of a dining table full of people I'd never met, how I should hold him like "this", feed him like "that", he was crying "because" and generally speaking to me like I was a child. I was 42. Eventually her son could see how uncomfortable I was getting and said "please stop, she's had more children than you". I couldn't wait to get out of there. There is always somebody who thinks they know better, know your baby better than you. Cut them off as much as you can.

She doesn’t have any children of her own...
She'll learn if she has her own. As I said up thread I was a total pain in the butt to my older big sister, I actually used to think I help bring up her DD, yes I spent lots of time with her, brought her places, had sleepovers, I still adore her.
When I had my own I soon realised I didn't rear her at all I only got the nice bits with Dneice.
I did apologise to Dsis and asked her how she put up with me, she said she wanted to punch me lot's of times but knew I meant well.

@YouDoYou18 does she have children too? Maybe she feels like a bit of an expert with parenting and wants you to think this too? My sis does a really annoying thing where she'll say "... i'm only asking because I didnt do things like you are, I was more relaxed" 🙄

@YouDoYou18 sorry, just read previous replies. Yanbu