Help with baby monitor

[wouldthatbeworse]

Shameless posting for traffic but am desperate.... I have a history of insomnia and my lovely newborn is such a noisy sleeper that I cannot sleep at all when I’m in a room with him. I’m struggling to cope. DH is in with him half the night so I can get a little sleep but it’s not fair when he has work the next day. Tried ear plugs, white noise, meditation, no phone, reading. I’m completely broken.

I’m considering putting DS in own room with breathing monitor. But I need a video baby monitor where either you hear the noise all the time or it only comes on when baby makes a louder noise. Any suggestions? Our current one (BT 1000) turns on whenever baby makes a snort/bleat/honk/grunt which is every few minutes.

Thanks so much for help.

Can you change the sensitivity on it? We have the babymoov travel one and im pretty sure you can on ours although I've not tried.

I have the angelcare AC1100 and I love it!

I know you said you've tried ear plugs, but have you tried silicone ones like Bio Ears? These changed my life (no exaggeration). The foam or wax ones don't even come close!

I use an app called Dormi. You need another phone with the app installed too, but it's been great so far! It's free to download and you get 4 hours free monitoring per month (though unlimited usage isn't expensive at around £7), so you can give it a try without committing anything!

@AlmostAlwyn do the phones have to be in close proximity for it to work?

@CharlesLeeRay no, they don't. They don't even actually have to be on the same WiFi network (as I found at the weekend when baby was upstairs on the hotel WiFi and I was two floors down on the restaurant WiFi).

Thanks for the responses. I’ll look at the earplugs and the monitor suggestions. Anyone else chosen to sleep separate from their newborns in the first few weeks?

Can you not just change the sensitivity on the one you've got? Our one seems to have various settings from "activated by the wind" to "will only come on after several minutes of crying" much to my guilt if I don't notice it's been knocked this way.

I would not recommend a breathing monitor as they do not reduce the risk of sids... You're either OK with them being in another room or you're not. (while it's against sids guidance, the risk is still small.) Please don't let a product lull you into a false sense of security.

It's not recommended to sleep in a separate room from a baby until they are 6 months old. Apparently they regulate their breathing by the sound of yours or something similar. You'll get used to the sounds in time. I wouldn't move a newborn baby out of the main bedroom tbh.

We have the Motorola MBP36S (there is a new version now - mine is nearly 4 years old) and it's an always on one, with video, and you can control the volume it plays at. I also sleep with one Bluetooth headphone in playing a podcast to get to sleep. I don't have insomnia, just an overactive brain sometimes. We have the monitor set to the lowest volume above mute and we still hear the baby (and toddler) when they are crying but it doesn't disturb us if they are just chatting or breathing heavily etc.

I am wondering whether you actually need a monitor?
If you have decided to sleep in a separate room to your baby( and don't forget that 20 years ago this was entirely normal to n the uk) your baby won't be safer because you have a monitor. The main benefit will be that you will hear them easily . You are moving them because you don't want the snuffles and mumbles to keep you all awake. Unless the child's room is miles away you will hear them crying and can attend as needed. I know it is usual to have a monitor but I would genuinely question the need for it.

Can you sleep in another room and your husband sleeps in the room with DC? It's really advised that they don't sleep alone when that tiny, as another PP said they regulate their breathing from yours (or DHs) they can't do that from another room. Some people move them a few weeks before six months again not advised, but I really wouldn't do it when they are only a few weeks old. If the snuffling of a baby keeps you awake any low level noise from a monitor will too. I remember being surprised by how noisy DS was, you do become accustomed to noise you need to be alert for and noise you don't. People will tell you of it was fine in the eighties when I had my children, but the SIDs rates have dropped massively since the advice has been asleep on their back, clear cot, in parents' room until six months. It's not a risk I'd want to take and I wouldn't sleep for worrying/listening.

Actually, I've just remembered that my baby was so snuffly and grunty when he was a newborn! My mum said "it's ok, he'll just be like that for the first 18 months or so"

But actually, after a few weeks, he just stopped doing it! How old is your baby? Can you wait another week or two and see what happens?

I had my ds 19 1/2 years ago and the advice was most definitely the same as now- sleep in with them until 6 months.

Btw I agree with last 2 posters that you get used to sniffly baby noise. I was just pointing out that a monitor won't necessarily help in this situation.

Mine slept in own room from day one. Had no problems at all. Had old fashioned baby monitor and all doors open. Could hear every breath if I wanted to. The guidance about lying on back had just come out to reduce cases of SIDS, but having them in your room came much later. I was a bit confused because immediately before that there was lots of horror stories about co sleeping, especially for smokers, then all of a sudden they were promoting them being in the same room and cots came out that attach to the bed etc.

I was kept awake by those noises at first (and when I was awake I stayed awake staring at my baby) but I found I was very quickly so tired I slept through them only waking when the baby stirred for a feed. I would have found it difficult to be separated at such a early stage.

Saying that... I have an angelcare video monitor and I love it. Most of the time no sound comes through but it turns on when the baby makes noise (not normal sleep sounds), you can also leave the screen off and that will come on when the baby stirs as well.

Congratulations.

I know exactly what you mean about the noise cutting in and out, it’s very annoying.

We have the HelloBaby video monitor from amazon and it’s great for this. It has Vox mode which you can choose to have on High, Low or Off. Vox Low means the sound is off unless the child makes a loud noise. Off means you get the noise all the time but it can be set to very low volume. (Two way talk on it is a bit rubbish but that’s not a big deal with a baby!)

The Summer baby ones just have noise on all the time as I recall but I could sleep with it on the quietest. So did the cheapo Motorola we had for a bit but its quietest setting was SO LOUD. Angelcare have the sound off except when there is a loudish noise ie crying.

I also agree with BertieBotts: I would not recommend a breathing monitor as they do not reduce the risk of sids... You're either OK with them being in another room or you're not. (while it's against sids guidance, the risk is still small.)

The noises will stop, the grunts etc. It is completely your choice if you decide to put your newborn alone. The advice is there and you decide if you follow it, not based on if someone on a forum justifies your choices.

I wanted to thank everyone for their advice and views. I do know the grunting will stop, but it’s not a lots of relief when you stay awake from the 3am feed to the 6am one and then the toddler wakes up for the day... We’re getting a night nanny for a couple of nights. Hopefully I’ll be able to make a rational decision after that. DH will stay with baby so I can sleep but I feel bad about him being interrupted during the night and then having to go to work.