Situation

[pinkandpurpleflowers]

NC'd for this. Some of you may vaguely recall a post I had a while back about receiving messages from exh's gf.
Recently it has escalated and the abusive messages have continued and for more and more nasty. I've blocked her on every platform possible but somehow she always finds a way round it.

Anyway, last week I woke up to a vile message from her full of insults and name calling and general abuse.

Whilst communicating with exh about it he went on to tell me that they had split up, as she started on our DS (2yo) calling him names and generally slagging him off then supposedly made him choose between our DS and their DS they have together. He said he ended it as he wasn't going to allow DS to be treated this way, and me by extension also (for the first time)

He told me maintenance may have to change as he would have to pay her maintenance too as they'd split and he was moving into a hotel until he could find rented.

Today I find out they're still/back together, as if nothings happened. I asked him about it and he told me they were together and that I need to get over it.

For clarification, I know I'm going to be told their relationship is nothing to do with me, which I agree with - and there's nothing I can do - but it makes me so angry that he made a big speech about it last week how he wasn't going to allow his DS to be treated that way, she's calling him names and bad mouthing him - but still he goes back to her and just forgets it.

I'm so angry by this it literally makes me cry. He has our DS every Saturday and I do NOT want him to be around her as she's clearly unhinged and jealous of a 2year old. They live together about 40 mins away.

Sorry it's so long and thank you if you made it to the end.... Please help me get over this!!!!!

I would go to SS with all the evidence you have in order to keep her away from your child. She's clearly unhinged.

You must protect your son. This woman is clearly deranged and the fact that she said horrible things about a 2 year old child then tried to make your ex choose between his own child and her is clear evidence of a volatile and malicious person.

You absolutely cannot let your son be her victim any longer. I seriously doubt this vile jealousy just sprang up overnight. I'd be questioning how she has been treating him prior to the eruption.

Everything about this is setting off warning bells very loudly.

Did your ex tell you this information via text message? So you have written evidence?

Thank you. Before they moved they lived (with his mum) bear to me and he had him there - but his mum recently moved away so exh has moved in with gf and her family. He has been told he is not to take DS to their house during contact, as some family members were also involved in some of the abuse I received online.

However, I'm aware there's nothing I can do (that I'm aware of) that would enable e to have a say in where DS does and doesn't go when he's with his dad - but recent events make me so nervous and it's disgusting - they both are they're as bad as each other - her for saying it and him for going back on it and allowing it!

I finally sent some of the evidence to ex's mum (exmil) to attempt to make her aware of what was going on as this started almost 2 years ago..... she said she'd talk to him which resulted in the 'ive ended it' speech but obviously that did nothing as he was back with her (if it even happened at all - ex is a compulsive liar) within 3 days.

No he's very clever - everything he's ever said about her has been face to face with me altho I do have confirmation by text that she said things but doesn't go into details

Anyone else have any tips? The emotion I feel is just pure anger towards him for letting her treat our DS this way.... after telling me everything that was supposedly said then just saying 'yeah we're back together so what' I just don't understand it! How can he think so little of DS?!! I panic about him taking him around her on contact days, he says he won't but I will never know and it makes me cringe just thinking about it

Could you message him ‘what happened about you protecting ds from your gf who was badmouthing him etc’ so it’s written down? How stressful!!!

Ps he lives with his gf and her family as in her mum and dad?

He has been told he is not to take DS to their house during contact, as some family members were also involved in some of the abuse I received online.

Who told him this?

How were the family members involved in the online abuse?

So basically he's homeless and lives with her, maybe her parents, and he had to go to s hotel? I'm assuming he's not got much money, maybe she kicked him out. Who knows. But it seems he's reliant on her for a roof over his head.

Could you fake an illness for your DS so he doesn't need to go this weekend? Say he has a stomach bug or something and buy more time.

I have no idea about these situations but surely there must be a way to stop him going with someone who feels this way about him?

Whilst communicating with exh about it he went on to tell me that they had split up, as she started on our DS (2yo) calling him names and generally slagging him off then supposedly made him choose between our DS and their DS they have together.
My guess is that very soon he will choose neither child as he will find another woman to move in with and impregnate. This.might be best for you and your child in the long run. He sounds like a complete loser.

Gonna try and answer everyone's questions/comments (separately sorry I don't remember them all to reply in one message)

@TeddybearBaby yes he lives with her and her parents and siblings in their home.

I already did message him asking about it and he said "yeah we're back together so what she didn't mean what she said I don't tell you how to live your life" etc etc so some is written down but not loads of detail iyswim....

@fedup21 I was the one who told him he's not to take DS to their house. Family members got involved on social media where she set up a public post slagging me off.... god it sounds so childish but that's what it is!

@Morgan12 that's precisely it - ex doesn't really care about DS otherwise what he said first would be true and he wouldn't allow her to treat him like this. The behaviour she's displaying is nerve wracking when I have no idea if he takes him there during the day or not - he could tell me he doesn't but very well do it anyway