Urgent! How do I unblock loo? Need to pee

[FhatTheWuck]

Not an AIBU sorry but I have never blocked a loo before so never had to deal with it. I dunno why it's blocked. DP says it blocks frequently and there's a plunger beside it but I only thought it would block if somebody puts in a huge amount of loo roll or has a huge shit or something. Reading ideas how to unblock a loo and confused. Really tired and exhausted, a bit unwell and needing to pee a lot, and this is the last thing I need. I must fix it so I have a fucking piss soon.

I've put in washing up liquid and a small bucket of very hot but not boiling water. The bit that confuses me is that a lot of advice is to flush and chuck in another bucket - but surely that will mean it overflows??

I'm not sure I can flush it now at all, because the water I added means that the water level has risen?

Chuffed to report the washing up liquid fixed it! It bloody worked!

Odd sense of triumph at seeing it flushing perfectly again Thank you for all the advice, it was good to feel there were more ideas to try if this hadn't worked.

We never use wipes or flush tampons. Think we need to get the loo checked out to make sure it's working right, it is old.

Rubber gloves, a wire coat hanger, pull out the blockage and rise with boiling water

This. We have kept a flattened out wire coat hanger for these purposes since DH's friend once left us a particularly stubborn present

Is the drain outside blocked?
Have a look at where the water from the sinks run into the drains.

I once had a neighbour who used to flush sanitary towels down her loo. The trouble is, her soil pipe fed into the manhole on my property.
After once having a fountain of Shit come up in my downstairs loo I had to go round and tell her not to do that.
Which was delicate as up to that point I'd never spoken to her before that.

If it’s just the toilet I’ve had success with hot water down the loo.
I’ve also just put my hand down and poked it as far as I can and just pushed the blockage and it’s unclogged.

If it goes slowly I’d just use the loo for wee.... although I’d put my hand in first and try that so I’m not swimming in my own piss.

Sodoff we had that too, ours was the lowest drain and we had 4 houses of shit flooding out garden.
They all denied any involvement in the wet wipes flushed or the emergency plumbers bill. Or the clean up of their shit from my garden.

IF all else fails, try completely covering the toilet in cling film & then flush. The cling film should create a vacuum of pressure which will then push the blockage through the toilet.

Disclaimer: I have only seen this online as a solution but have never tried it.

I usually put a carrier bag over the end of my mop to use that as a plunger

i’m glad you’re washing up liquid trick worked OP. Can’t say I’ve ever heard of that one myself. I’m still a bit astounded that a grown woman wouldn’t know how to unblock the bog though.

Put bicarbonate soda down the toilet followed by vinegar x

oh christ, you've just reminded me of what we refer to as 'the turdtoise'. I don't know wtf DD ate, but the loo was blocked solidly for a week, with the water brown swamp hovering permanently at the 'ooh, today could be the day I overflow' level. I tried everything. In the end I had to get up to my elbows in shit and fish it all out with a wire coat hanger, plastic bags, and tears in my eyes.

Fuck me, that might be my grimmest moment ever.

What does the washing up liquid do?

coat hanger, break up whats down there, possibly holding some of the stuff up if possible, flush, repeat as necessary, but only once water level has gone down again, good luck

If you're desperate for a pee, use a bucket and then empty it in the loo when you've unblocked it. The plunger should do the trick.

'the turdtoise' sadeyedlady has won the internet this evening for me

fwiw I've got a cheap long-handled plastic bath backbrush - came from bodycare i think - which I use regularly when flushing cat litter down the loo (it's the cellulose kind, which is designed to be flushed, but occasionally doesn't dissolve sufficiently).

(Our loo doesn't block otherwise! but I'd definitely recommend keeping one in reserve )

Stick the head of the mop in a carrier bag, stick it in the toilet, plunge a few times and ta-dah! No more block! I've had to do this more than once

this stuff is the dog's bollocks of drain unblocking. keep a bottle or two in stock

A plunger normally works and takes seconds I wouldn't be pissing around with all the weird and wonderful suggestions if i had a plunger.

@chiccroissant It started out as the 'turdtule' Then we realised it was not happy in water, and was going nowhere quickly. So turdtoise it had to be.

(I really needed someone to make me smile tonight, so thank you!)

@sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea that was hilarious