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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call my child this?

135 replies

Ayemama · 29/07/2019 15:57

Sometimes when my DC have been naughty or especially cheeky I call them a little poop because that's how they are behaving.
It's always said gently almost like a pet name for their naughty side.
I never thought anything of it and it's always light hearted never shouted or said harshly.
They are both toddlers and I've never seen it as a massively negative thing.
However today one DC was having a complete meltdown and tantrum as she was tired and hot and had been stopped doing something potentially dangerous and I cuddled her and asked her to stop being a little poop and she did calm down.
When I had succeeded in calming my DC and had let her go back to playing another mother that I hardly know came over and rather harshly informed that she had over heard me and started having a right go at me for being horrible to my children. Apparently calling my child this makes me a bad mum...?
So am I being unreasonable to call my child a little poop on the odd occasion or was this mother being overly harsh?
I'm not overly fussed either way just a bit curious.

OP posts:
StCharlotte · 29/07/2019 16:24

"little poop" and "wee poop"? It's all a bit twee isn't it?

Pinkout · 29/07/2019 16:27

I mean, you are essentially calling them a little shit. It’s not the best term to use.

hereforasillygoosetime · 29/07/2019 16:27

It's a bit weird tbh.

Pinkout · 29/07/2019 16:27

‘Calm down you little shit’
‘Calm down you little poop’

Poop is obviously more child friendly but neither sound particularly nice.

HollowTalk · 29/07/2019 16:29

You're basically calling your child a shit, but trying to do it in a Cath Kidston type of way.

Why not call them something nicer? I hate it when people call their kids little shits - I really judge them!

Speakeasy22 · 29/07/2019 16:29

I think it's a horrible term to use tbh. I wouldn't want to hear a child using this and that will happen.

Bezalelle · 29/07/2019 16:33

I think it's horrible. It's a euphemism for faeces, FFS.

PQ77 · 29/07/2019 16:35

why not comment on the behaviour rather than the child? So rather than calling them a little poop/shit (not very pleasant!!!) comment on what they are doing that is not acceptable.

I had this suggestion from a paediatrician years ago and try really hard to focus any criticism on the behaviour I don't like (eg "I don't like it when you don't put on your shoes and make it difficult to leave for school on time" rather than calling them a name).

NuttyOrNice · 29/07/2019 16:35

I think it’s not a good idea. It’s ok you saying it to them but it’s wouldn’t be good if they called other kids it. There is a zillion other terms you could use.

cjt110 · 29/07/2019 16:36

Its not particuarly nice if your child was called it by snother yoiu might be upset. But it's also difficult if you don't find offence in something you see as harmless.

I would playfully say to my son to "get lost" as in, ok, you've taken your shoes off when you got inside, now go on, get lost. I had always had this as a playful term from my parents but my husband was deeply offended by it and said it wasn't nice.

My son gets called tin ribs, chicken nugget and chuck.

Pretendapony · 29/07/2019 16:37

Calling your child little poop is hardly crime of the century! People are hilarious finding this offensive! I wouldn’t bat an eyelid OP.

CarrieBlu · 29/07/2019 16:37

It’s an odd thing to call your child but I wouldn’t get too worked up about it personally. Not the worst thing I’ve heard parents call their children by a long stretch!

Oysterbabe · 29/07/2019 16:38

That's a horrible thing to call a child. You're obviously just calling them a little shit in more child friendly language.

Confusedandworried321 · 29/07/2019 16:39

I mean it's fine, not offensive at all. But as the mum of a 3 year old who thinks it's funny to say "you're poo poo" etc, and has been in trouble at play group over it, you might want to stop now before they start repeating it!

I have told my DS that he's being a little brat before which I'm not proud of as it's horrible, but sometimes we do things we're not proud of!

IncrediblySadToo · 29/07/2019 16:40

I think it’s an odd thing to say imo (I’ve lived all over the place and never heard that before) and because I wouldn’t want them saying it to each other or to other kids I wouldn’t say it to them, but I’ve called them FAR worse under my breath!

The woman was massively overstepping ‘telling you off’ though. It’s not like you called your DC ‘a naughty little bitch’ or whatever.

Drogosnextwife · 29/07/2019 16:41

Fgs, next time you see her tell her she doesn't know what a bad mum is.

BoomyBooms · 29/07/2019 16:41

I hope you told her to stop being a big poop.

AllFourOfThem · 29/07/2019 16:44

I think the sentiment is unpleasant and I would judge you silently in my head for it (and assume you say far worse behind closed doors) but I wouldn’t challenge you about it.

BillieEilish · 29/07/2019 16:46

Grin OP I blame the 'poo' emoji.

DD is 10 and at her (naice, private) school all the children call each other 'caca' as a JOKE. The height of sophistication is a poo cushion in the bedroom. Hmm

She thinks it's hilarious to do it to me (call me caca) and that I am super cool to not care, recognise it for what it is and do it back to her.

NO big deal (coming from someone who is manic about teaching DD proper UK grammar etc)

mogtheexcellent · 29/07/2019 16:47

I call 5yo DD poo. As in 'get your shoes on poo we'll be late for school' didn't realise it was offensive.

I also call her snotfacemonkeypants Grin

Cannyhandleit · 29/07/2019 16:47

Jesus I hope she never hears what I call my terrorist 2 year old when he's on one!

PancakeAndKeith · 29/07/2019 16:48

I’d judge poop. Where has that come from? It used to be poo, not poop.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/07/2019 16:48

If I had heard you, I wouldn't have said anything but I certainly wouldn't have been very impressed. The main issue is that you get upset and then call your child a derogatory name. Won't be long until they do the same thing. Shouldn't we be teaching our children NOT to call people names? It's crude and it's bullying.

BillieEilish · 29/07/2019 16:49

PP's saying you are calling your DC 'a little shit' are missing the point of this thread entirely.

OP did not call her child 'a little shit'. Hmm

mathanxiety · 29/07/2019 16:51

It's probably a good idea not to call your children names.

That is, any names. Poop is pretty mild but the principle is the same whether it's shit, brat, moron, whatever...

I was called wee poop and all sorts growing up and it never really bothered me.
A lot of people tell stories of being smacked as a child 'and it didn't do any harm'.

You probably reinforced the poor impression you made on the other mother by telling her to mind her own business.

When someone is having a rough day it's a better idea to try to talk about their feelings. In doing so you give them a vocabulary and also a tool they can use as they grow older to recognise that they are losing it.