How can I stop being so fickle with decision making ?

[dontfollowmeimlosttoo]

I am probably insecure and doubt myself. whenever I make a decision I always feel I have to explain myself to others .. I also end up changing my mind a lot . I will make a decision when in a rational mood then mull it over and go back on what decision I have made.

Example : my baby is 6 months old breastfeeding has always been difficult ( painful latch , him pulling off crying etc ) despite this he is 98th percentile and the size of a 9 month old . I made the decision to switch to mix feed he enjoyed the formula , he slept better, he was more content but due to fear from judgment from others I decided to reduce formula and give breastfeeding another go , we then ended up back at square one. Cluster feeding for hours, feeding seeming content then Coming off crying wanting more 10 minutes later , taking 1 hour to go down for a nap ( when formula fed he just goes off for a sleep after pushing pram a couple of times) whereas with breast he fights all naps.

I feel judgment from others is stopping me from doing what is best for my baby ( I believe formula is best for him after what we have experienced ). My MIL is always saying breast is best etc and I feel I always have to explain myself to her why I am wanting to feed formula and I have even fed him formula on secret ( closed door ) so she wouldn't judge me .

So my question is for people who make a decision that they know is absolutely the right thing for them / their children how do you accept your decision and not keep going back and fourth changing your mind etc trying to please others .

All I can suggest , is to realise that "other people's opinions" are not more important than your own decisions.

Your MIL is not an expert on child feeding - she is just a person who doesn't know any more than you do. Same with anyone else whose opinion you worry about - is any of them an expert on child rearing ? Or are they just normal people who know no more than you .

I'd suggest that when you make a decision like this, write down all the pros and cons. Weigh them all up and make a decision. If you want to tell anyone about it, do so in a matter-of-fact manner, not asking their opinion but just sharing information. Don't ask what they think and if they express an opinion, say thanks but I've already made that decision, and how about a nice cup of tea. No need to try to justify your decision . Keep smiling and change the subject.

I'm sure you'll find that once you've told her, and shown that your decision is non-negotiable, that will be the end of it. Stop letting your fears of "others opinions" rule your life - it's nobody's business but yours.

The more you change your mind the more you doubt yourself.
6 months it's enough breast feeding. He'll be eating other foods so milk is less important by now.
For good or for bath make a decision and stick with it. Grow in confidence because you'll need to make lots of decisions on your child's behalf.
Start now get some practice and soon will be second nature.

Wise words from SeaEagle21 "realise that "other people's opinions" are not more important than your own decisions"

You might want to have a think about why you give so much credence to other peoples' opinions when they really don't matter.

Re feeding, you had a problem, you found a great solution where both you and baby were happy, then you undid your achievement by listening to someone else's opinion.

Next time you have any problem with baby and you solve it, stick with it.

As a parent, you'll be inundated with unsolicited advice for years. Practise this. Learn to smile and say 'Thanks' and ignore them, or if they are really pushy, then smile and say 'Thanks, but this works for us.' and ignore their advice.