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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

No bathroom

119 replies

GiBlues · 28/07/2019 16:57

DH and I are thinking of building a 2 storey extension on our house which will mean all 4 bedrooms we have now will be bigger as well as adding 2 extra en-suites. So 4 bedrooms, 3 en suites.

DH has suggested we do away with the main bathroom and make that a 4th en-suite so everyone has their own bathroom. I’m not sure as I think it seems odd not to have a main bathroom although we do have a downstairs toilet for visitors so the main bathroom would only be used by the person in the 4th bedroom.

Would love opinions on what we should do:

YABU for no main bathroom and YANBU for keeping the main bathroom

OP posts:

LaurieMarlow · 28/07/2019 20:25

I’d be thinking of resale. Lots if ppl don’t like en-suite (see this thread) and a family bathroom is much better if you have small kids. So I wouldn’t, no.

SunniDay · 28/07/2019 21:16

I would avoid a jack and jill compromise. I'd rather come out of the bedroom and use the bathroom than have to think have I locked and then unlocked both doors to avoid embarrassing mishaps.

SunniDay · 28/07/2019 21:18

OP,
You mention you haven't had guest for a while but if you have/will have teenagers that will be getting boyfriends and girlfriends that you might not want to let immediately stay in their room - might be worth a thought.

KatewithaH · 28/07/2019 21:23

You may want to consider longer term if children move away and visit with partner/family how would the rooms work then.

Wakeupalready · 28/07/2019 21:28

I think the ensuite with each room is a nightmare set up for any house guest you may eventually have in the future. Especially if none of the rooms is a guest bedroom.
A friend has this exact set up with the single loo, and whenever I stay I have to scuttle through someones bedroom to shower. Even worse is that none of the ensuites have internal doors , so if anyone needs anything from the bedroom when you are in the bathroom it can be somewhat embarrassing.
I think it would also drop your re-sale value not having a main bathroom, and having so many ensuites. I'd run at the thought of cleaning so many bathrooms if I was looking to buy a house.

Skinnychip · 28/07/2019 21:43

We have a 5 bed house, we've got 1 downstairs toilet, very small main bathroom, 1 upstairs toilet with basin (i think was originally separate toilet and bathroom but unfortunately the layout means it can't be made into a large family bathroom) and 1 ensuite....and i think thats more than enough to clean!!

bridgetreilly · 28/07/2019 21:55

You don't have to use the extra bedroom as a spare bedroom, though. It could be an office/study. It could be a hobby space. It could be a den for the teenagers. But having it will mean that your extension actually adds value to the house and makes it easier to sell, as well as having a practical function, unlike lots of slightly larger bedrooms and bathrooms.

BlueSkiesLies · 28/07/2019 21:57

I wood much much MUCH rather keep the family bathroom.

BackforGood · 28/07/2019 22:02

Another who really doesn't like en-suite's.

If you have no main bathroom, and your partner is in yours, you can't then use another bathroom without disturbing someone else. Now, I know it is a first world problem and all that - many, many families all manage to share a single bathroom but, it would be incredibly annoying to not be able to use a bathroom when you have 4 in the house.

Also awkward if you have people sleeping over in the living room.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/07/2019 22:05

To put it bluntly.

The only reason not to have all as en suites is if there's ever going to be a situation were someone doesn't want to take a shit in their bedroom.

THIS

Mumsnet teaches us that, even if you've been married to (and presumably very intimate with) somebody for 40 years, it is still a disgusting and unthinkable thought that they might discover that you sometimes do a poo, as it isn't always possible for a married couple to spend every night at least one county apart.

Having an en-suite completely gives the game away and betrays your filthy little secret to them. Your marriage may not survive this and it would all be 100% the fault of the en-suite.

The only way it might work would be for everybody to use an en-suite per bedroom - but not the one attached to their own bedroom.

"Good morning my little Room 1 primrose, how are you this fine day?"
"Why, sparkling, thank you, my Room 1 dear. Do excuse me, I wish to go and enquire of our good friends in Room 4."
"Why, hullo! It's one of our two trusty companions from Room 3 come to extend her warm felicitations to us!"
"Glad tidings, Room 2! I do apologise for your discomfit, but Room 5 has requested the company of your good gentleman occupant on this, the beginning of another fine Spring morn!"

It would be like one big platonic wife-swap, with everybody desperate to avoid pooing in the earshot of their spouse!

Oh, and for those expressing horror at the thought of 'pooing in the corner of your bedroom', you do realise there's traditionally a door and walls surrounding an en-suite, don't you? The same kind of door and walls separating ALL of the rooms of the house, including the family bathroom?

If that shocks you, then you'll be mortified when you eventually discover that everybody you see in the High Street is absolutely, totally, completely butt naked underneath their clothes....

Username9641 · 28/07/2019 22:09

Cleaning that many bathrooms would be a nightmare. Plus the upkeep/maintenance//duplication of stuff/expense.

I'd never touch someone with all en suites with a bargepole, as a buyer.

And you say it's your forever home, but it seems unlikely you'll want to stay somewhere that big and with all that cleaning/maintenance when you're retired, the kids have left home, and - guessing the economy isn't going to be astounding! - you may well want to downsize and release some equity to help your kids out with their own houses. Even if you didn't want to do that, an elderly person looking after & having to pay for a house that big seems silly.

What about a reading nook or general room for the teenagers to get away? Or just don't extend and put the money towards early retirement :)

justasking111 · 28/07/2019 22:15

I have a confession to make. We moved into a house with an annexe. The annexe had a loo, sink, shower for DS. the guest room has a loo, sink, shower en-suite. The big main bedroom has masses of wardrobe space the main bathroom across the hall with a huge bath, shower, loo and sink. After cleaning three bathrooms in the old home for twenty years. I banned use of the shower in DS bathroom, banned use of the guest room suite except for guests. We all use the main bathroom to bathe, DS is allowed to use loo and sink in annexe.

I am buggered if I am going to spend the rest of my life cleaning sinks, loos and showers hence the strict rule.

justasking111 · 28/07/2019 22:17

Oh and to add, we had an en suite in our bedroom last house. It was blooming awful listening to OH taking a dump with all the accompanying orchestral noises, bleugh!!!

Skinnychip · 28/07/2019 22:19

*Mumsnet teaches us that, even if you've been married to (and presumably very intimate with) somebody for 40 years, it is still a disgusting and unthinkable thought that they might discover that you sometimes do a poo, as it isn't always possible for a married couple to spend every night at least one county apart.

Having an en-suite completely gives the game away and betrays your filthy little secret to them. Your marriage may not survive this and it would all be 100% the fault of the en-suite.*

Some friends of my mums when we were kids (seemingly a happy couple who shared a bedroom at their home) could apparently only stay somewhere on holiday with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms ....🤔 (for his and hers poo-ing? Or maybe 1 bathroom for wees and 1 for poos??) And for this reason they could never come to stay at our house!

PigletJohn · 28/07/2019 22:32

If you're having any ensuites, or downstairs WCs, then for God's sake fit them with dense fire-doors, which are very good for blocking sound, and effective extractors that are powerful, quiet, and come on with the light-switch and have a timed run-on so they actually work.

Many of the moans can be overcome by doing a proper job of it like that.

diplodoco · 28/07/2019 22:34

Op we all had en-suites in our house growing up as well as a family bathroom. The family bathroom NEVER got used and the en-suites were brilliant. Great as a teenager who wanted privacy and brilliant as a person who doesn't particularly want to share a bathroom with a teenage brother.

My parents have just redone their house and every bedroom has an en suite again including the room my toddler stays in when he stays with them. It's fine and he loves having his own toilet. There is a toilet downstairs but no family bathroom this time. It hasn't been a problem so far at all. I'd say go for it! I'm glad my parents did.

Original poster

GiBlues · 28/07/2019 22:46

I’m quite surprised it’s fairly equally split

OP posts:

peachgreen · 28/07/2019 22:50

Would 100% put me off buying a house. One en suite is plenty, two at most - a family bathroom is essential.

kidsmakesomuchwashing · 28/07/2019 23:02

Are you ever planning to move? Or is this your forever home? I can't see it being very appealing to mass market.

MaggieFS · 28/07/2019 23:20

I love having an en-suite. When I have a house full of family/guests, my bedroom is my escape zone and I don't have to leave it to have a shower or go to the loo. (But it has a window, I'd agree I'm not keen on internal shoebox ones).

OP, if it's your forever home then go for it. As your DC get older, it will be perfect. You'll hopefully get years of use from it which makes it all worth it. But, if you were hoping to sell it in due course as a family home, I would keep a family bathroom as I wouldn't want en suites with younger children.

SunniDay · 29/07/2019 01:50

Quote: MaggieFS

"I love having an en-suite. When I have a house full of family/guests, my bedroom is my escape zone and I don't have to leave it to have a shower or go to the loo. (But it has a window, I'd agree I'm not keen on internal shoebox ones)."

But if the OP has a house full of family/guests they will have to queue for the downstairs loo or go through the bedrooms to the ensuite.

I also think it is nice for guests to be able to use the family bathroom if they feel they need more privacy than the downstairs loo provides.(I.e. not pooing right next to where everyone else is).

prawnsword · 29/07/2019 02:10

This would affect the resale value.

When my folks have guests they always tell them to use the main family bathroom, not the 2nd little cubicle loo. The main bathroom is obviously much nicer (claw foot bath, etc ). They like to entertain & this is a factor in which bathroom they prefer guests use.

I personally think this would be an unwise property development decision. We don’t see houses set up this way because it wouldn’t suit most families.

I too also dislike rooms without windows which many en-suites are

Picturing as kids turn into gross teenagers & each have their own bathroom to make filthy...I guess they would clean their own bathrooms, but I would be seeing all the extra work

I must say if viewed a property set up this way I would joke that previous owners either had chronic UTIs or some faeces fetish !

Durgasarrow · 29/07/2019 03:10

If you ever have a party, you will need more than one bathroom. Do you want people going through your bedrooms to find one?

InspirationWontCome · 29/07/2019 03:15

I would keep the main bathroom.

When it comes to ever reselling, I think most people expect one. 4 en-suites but no family bathroom would put some buyers off

It's useful for bathing the kids & extra upstairs loo for visitors (eg if you had a lot of people over)

Presumably you couldn't put a bath in every en-suite? So where would anyone go if they wanted a bath? Into someone else's en-suite? Everyone I know who has replaced their bath with a shower, regrets it!

Can the 4th bedroom have a Jack n Jill style door into the main bathroom?

Kinsters · 29/07/2019 03:52

I wouldn't bother keeping the family bathroom - don't see the point if every room is ensuite. If you ever have a guest who needs to shower or take a bath then presumably they can just use one of the en-suites.

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