To be sick of the fucking perimenopause

[Stripyseagulls]

I feel shit most of the time- I think I only feel well for about a week a month these days, if that.
I have started getting migraines around ovulation, then I am grumpy and cross and bloated up to my period. I am anxious & dizzy and feel like shit most of the time.

Am only 46- doc won’t give me anything and has fobbed me off- there’s nothing else wrong with me as have had tests so this could go on for years.

Aibu?

Yes, it's pants! I've been dealing with it for 6 years now and can't wait to be over it. The worse was 2 years ago and it slowly getting better now that I've been without periods for over a year but I'm so far from whom I used to be. The only grace, I hope, is that it will be all over by the time I'm mid 55 when others go through it.

It's not true there is nothing you can take. You can definitely be on hrt (doesn't work for all but does for many) and other treatments medicated and not that can help.

See a menopause friendly GP.

See a different GP, get on HRT and get your life back.

Your doctor can give you HRT!

You need to get another doctor and REFUSE to be fucked off. HRT is a lifesaver, and there is no reason to be suffering like this. Most gp's are useless when it comes to peri-menopause. Go private if you need to.

i.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/113666670/perimenopause-lead-up-to-menopause-very-uncomfortable-and-poorly-understood

Agree to pp about seeing a different doctor. What is your doctor's reason for refusing? They can't just 'fob you off '. They can recommend and you have the right to insist! So bloody insist. Ask to see a woman doctor or a young male. Don't minimise! Insist! It's your body and your right. Go private if you can afford it. HRT has been a godsend for me - young female doctor was very open to hrt.

I have just started the perimenopause and I feel so rough. It came on slowly over about 6 months and I couldn't work out why I felt so ill all the time. I have an appointment with the gp for next month. I asked the practice for their menopause expert gp. I am going to ask about HRT. I will not be fobbed off either. I feel for you, go and get a second opinion.

Have seen 2 male doctors at my GPs - one told me I needed anti depressants & there was nothing wrong with me & the other basically shrugged when I asked if I could have HRT 🙄

You DO NOT need antidepressants, and they will do nothing to help your peri-menopause, and can actually make things worse. I hope your read the article I linked to.

I sympathise. I'm going through it at 43 (my mum was the same age).

My GP (female) asked me to list my symptoms (of which I had many!) and gave me HRT at 45 without a blood test. Her words "we're starting to use it as a pre-emptive strike these days". That, and Prozac, saved my life. Ask to see a menopause specialist if you get a negative response.

I am also struggling, and have had a similar dire experience with a female GP. Her only advice was that I should lose the weight which has been creeping on (my BMI is 19!!). I feel dreadful, and now feel ashamed at going back to the GP as I came out feeling so foolish. She said things to me like "well, you're not 20 anymore, what do you expect?" Commented on my weight gain and basically laughed at my other symptoms.

Super helpful!

HRT is amazing

My friend told me about a Facebook page called The Latte Lounge that is excellent for arming women with what to say to GPs who are dismissive of peri-menopause, might be worth a look?

I'm now menopausal but can totally relate. I'm so fed up and just want my old self back. I'm grumpy, intolerant and feel like I'm looking down at myself all the time, unable to be happy. I'm using hrt patches only been 1.5 months, but now have constant bleeding, so not feeling much better. I'm weaning myself off antidepressants because I think they're contributing to the disconnected feeling. I'm so fed up!

I have flooded through my mooncup four times so far today, and have a veritable garage of spare tyres around my middle. The flooding mainly over the past year, various other symptoms being put down to peri-menopause and GP basically saying make the most of it as it's just going to get worse :(

I am also losing my hair and know that it's just going to get so much worse.

OP, sorry, I totally feel your pain

My GP heard my symptoms (mainly night sweats), sent me for a blood test and promptly prescribed HRT.
I can honestly say that I had far more symptoms than I realised once they were no longer there! (brain fog, sleep patterns, moodiness etc as I'd grown accustomed I didn't realise they were peri)

Op as per PP I would push your GP, it may take some time to work out the right prescription but once you do the relief is worth it

It rubbish I know OP. I am 47 and experiencing problems for some time. I am also on medication for a chronic illness, and was told a few years back by a breast specialist never to take HRT as I have dense breast tissue. As I am taking disease modifying therapy for my illness, I don’t think HRT would be advisable in my circumstances, but a lot of women swear by it.

Stripeyseagull, that is awful for you! Migraines are terrible and if you're only feeling OK for one week out of each month, that's just not good enough. It is highly possible, though, that your symptoms will improve over the next few months which is why your GP won't prescribe anything.

If things don't improve, insist on a referral to a consultant who specialises in the menopause - yes, such people do exist! There was a very good one at King's College Hospital in London, called Linda Cardoza, but she may have retired by now and you may not be in London. Do a bit of homework and find a name in case you need to see someone.

In the meantime, try not to flog yourself to death at work or at home and avoid migraine triggers. This hot weather isn't very helpful right now.

Put yourself first for a while, this stage in your life won't last forever, thankfully.

My situation is slightly different as I'm in my 30s and have early menopause from cancer treatment BUT a little after the cancer treatment finished, I didn't really realise what the effects of menopause would feel like. I was so ill that I went back to my consultant thinking I had cancer recurrence....that's how bad it was. Ached all over, drowsy, headaches, vertigo, could barely move most of the time. I had HRT immediately (patches as tablets upset my tummy) and I'm completely like my old self. Your GPs are total arses. Don't let them fob you off.

Yanbu. I've not been right for 5 years but been planed off twice. Although now I'm over 45 they might pay attention to me .

I'm 44 and was prescribed HRT by my female GP three weeks ago on the basis of night sweats, anxiety, irregular periods, and a family history of fairly early menopause. Already feeling so much better. I'd try a different GP if I were you.

HRT. I can't stress enough how this will help you.

Why are doctors so awful? Mine took one look at my bloodshot eyes and sweaty face and gave me HRT.
Mine started at 45 and at 57 I'm only just finished. I would have died without HRT...other people would have died too

44 and on HRT here. My mum had menopause at 27 so they took me seriously and they keep an eye on me every three months. My GPs are fab. Good luck OP. It's so rotten.