To ask for advice regarding mums boyfriend?

[ChocolateCakeForDinner]

My mother's boyfriend is very creepy. At my husband's birthday party, the boyfriend was staring at my older sister and at my wedding he was definitely checking out my husband's cousins.

Obviously my mum is an adult and can make her own mind up about her relationships, but I really think this guy is bad news. On a job years ago, for my MIL's friend, he kept coming round for coffees and asked her for sex. This guy was also married when my mum started seeing him. He always lies to my mum about where he is, where he works and other things.

I'm really concerned for my mum's safety, my sisters and my young daughters. I'd have to call anyone a paedo, but I just really get bad vibes from him. I'm not the only one either, my husband doesn't like him and many of our family and family friends have heard not so great stories.

Should I at least tell my mum about him staring at my older sister and husband's cousins? My mum is very headstrong and doesn't like being told things about her relationship, so it's a bit of a touchy subject iyswim

I'd tell her.

Could you mention it in a sort of jokey way ("I thought X's eyes were going to pop out of his head from staring at Y!") rather than having a serious conversation about it? So that she's aware of the issue, but doesn't feel that you're treating her like a child?

That could possibly work PineappleFish, not sure how I'd incorporate it into conversation though. I feel horrible bringing it up, I don't want to accuse anyone of anything without hard proof but he makes my stomach turn just thinking about him

It's a huge leap from staring at adult women to being concerned for safety of children. I'm presuming here that your husband's cousins are also adults? He's sounds like he has the morals of an alleycat and fair enough to not like him, but there is nothing in your op to suggest his is dangerous to anyone, let alone children. Is there a massive drip feed?

I don’t think this is a joking matter, this man has a roving eye & from what you describe is after sex from anyone he can get it.

Your mum is an adult and how is she going to take being given this news? Will she take unbridge with the messenger?

Thingsdogetbetter, I understand there's a massive leap, thats why I haven't jumped out and accused him of anything. I just feel very uneasy about the whole situation. I can't think of anything I've left out.

Her last husband (marriage lasted less than 6 months) everyone warned her about, she married him anyway, lo and behold he started hitting her and became emotionally abusive. She doesn't like being told anything about her relationships