To think perhaps I'm a bit naive?

[Ribrabrob]

Once I went on a date with somebody from Tinder. He'd missed his last train home so I offered to drop him in my car. He seemed hesitant and a little unsure but I persuaded him. At the time I thought absolutely nothing of doing this until afterwards I thought perhaps I was a bit silly as I barely knew the guy (although equally I guess he could have felt the same about me?). I'm also a bit of a night owl in general and will regularly walk home alone in the dark, go on a walk to the beach at 2am etc. I have never felt scared or vulnerable. I also once arranged a first date in someone's home who i did not know, although admittedly this is probably something I wouldn't do again.

Please note I completely understand the reasons why some women may feel vulnerable (previously assaulted etc) and I realise I am fortunate to feel the way that I do, so I'm absolutely not trying to minimise the way others may feel - just sharing the way I personally feel and wondering if maybe yes I am naive/stupid. I am quite fall/heavyset so maybe this contributes to the way I feel.

Aibu to be quite so relaxed? Am I naive for giving an unknown man a lift? Would you have?

I think having a first date in someone's house you didn't know was incredibly stupid. You need to start looking after yourself a bit more. Nobody else will.

In spite of some truly horrific experiences I try to see the best in the world but these experiences have made me aware of nothings really are if you suddenly find yourself in danger.

The reality is it's normally not a woman I'm thinking about in the next bit but really it could be anyone I don't know well enough to judge yet.

I ask myself if this person turned on me what could I actually do about that?
Due to my experiences I have realised that despite fighting my corner like a some sort of demented animal The answer is normally not a huge amount if it really came to a proper attack and actually I get much more physically hurt by fighting.

I then ask if this person turned on me and I now know (due to the previous question) I'd probably be unable to fight him/this person off completely on my own even if I'd give it a bloody good go! am I willing to then put myself in a private space where there is no chance of a stranger helping me.

The answer is quite simply no.

I'm not scared to be in the world or scared to meet new people but I am properly honest about the reality based on actual hard evidence that as clever or as hard as I fight I alone very well might not be enough to stop an attack although it might stop me being killed in the attack.

Before I knew the truth I thought it would be different for me because I was willing to fight, I could run fast and I was clever enough and had the gift of the chat to talk my way out. None of that is normally true.

Not nothings it meant to say of how things really are

I would NEVER go to a man's home for a first date. After a bad experience with a man I thought was a friend who is actually a total psychopath.