To go back to uni despite the (temporary) financial implications?

[floatinglily]

I have a degree already and worked in a field vaguely related to that degree. However I had to leave my old job due to very poor mental and physical health. I eventually found my current job and really enjoy it. I feel it's something I'm good at, it doesn't effect my health anywhere near as much and I find it interesting. I only work part time at the moment but feel confident my health would be okay if I went full time if a job came up / I went back to university. The only way I can progress is by going back to university. I've looked into other options for progressing but there just aren't any. My earning potential without university is very limited.

Going back to university would mean a drop in income by quite a bit throughout my time there but I know after graduating I'd then be earning a lot more than I currently do (plus hopefully I'd also be on a full time wage too). DP and I have discussed this extensively and we could financially manage but it would mean that chances are we won't be able to take 7 year old DSD on holiday until I graduate/ start earning again. We currently do 2, possibly 3 UK trips away with her at the moment but that would have to drop to none. We've thought about me going next year instead to save up the money but I have a place for this year and there's no guarantee I'd be allowed to defer or be accepted again next year if I reapplied.

AIBU to go anyway even though it means a pretty miserable childhood for DSD for the next 3 years?

Can you afford course fees on top of no earnings?

Plenty of children don't have holidays. It's hardly a miserable childhood. Provided you can afford essentials and maybe a bit of a cushion for an emergency I'd go for it.

@MyDcAreMarvel course fees are paid for thankfully

In that case I would go for it.

Missing out on holidays is hardly miserable.

Is this a second undergraduate degree or postgrad? What field is this that you need a new degree? Why is it that your current quals are fine to work in the field, albeit part time, but not enough to progress?

How many doors does it open? Will you need to do professional quals after?

AIBU to go anyway even though it means a pretty miserable childhood for DSD for the next 3 years

Yes.

If you can do the job part time, you can do it full time. You haven’t even tried it full time to see if you can work full time given your past attempt at full time work.

There’s no way I would compromise my child’s life to allow the person I was dating do this. I’d take on the extra around the house so they could study via the OU around work as a compromise.

Absolutely go for the university course, invest in yourself and the future for you family.

As for the holidays of absence of holidays, I would get DH to find something to do with his DC as their 'thing'. DC need fun, enrichment and stimulation, plenty of other ways to get that other than just holidays.

How confident are you that being part time isn't the deciding factor in you being able to manage your current job whilst maintaining your health?

It's not obligatory to work full time, and for lots of people it's not viable to do so and still stay well. It can also offer a better quality of life.

I was wondering about all thetimekeeper’s questions and also:

there's no guarantee I'd be allowed to defer or be accepted again next year if I reapplied

Have you asked?

YADNBU

DSD isn’t going to be wearing rags or starving

To answer some questions:

Is this a second undergraduate degree or postgrad?

Second undergraduate degree

What field is this that you need a new degree? Why is it that your current quals are fine to work in the field, albeit part time, but not enough to progress?

It's in healthcare within the NHS. Current quals don't enable me to work there as such, it's an entry level job that anyone with GCSEs can do. It's a band 2 job, the degree enables me to get more into the clinical aspects which is where I want to be, I can do the very basics at the moment but I'm not allowed to do anymore without getting the degree.

How many doors does it open? Will you need to do professional quals after?
It enables me to go to band 5 and there is always CPD work to do as with most professional jobs.

How confident are you that being part time isn't the deciding factor in you being able to manage your current job whilst maintaining your health?

I'm confident that it's a complete change of role tbh that's making a difference. The previous role I was in was a recipe for disaster with my physical health which then made my mental health worse as I was in so much pain which I think was a bit of a vicious cycle then. This job (and subsequent post graduate job) allows me to avoid all of the things that aggravated my physical health previously.

There’s no way I would compromise my child’s life to allow the person I was dating do this

I get where you're coming from but if he wasn't with me they'd be in the same situation. My income from studying more than covers the extra it costs for me to live in the house. If he wasn't with me, they still wouldn't be able to afford holidays. OU isn't an option. As I've already said, I've looked into other options and there aren't any.

Go for it OP. Your DSD's childhood won't be miserable because she doesn't get to go on holiday, children are more resilient than we give them credit for.

Not having holidays doesn't mean a miserable childhood. Are there other things you will be stopping that you think will make her childhood miserable?

How do you think you will find working in the NHS full time in a clinical job? They can be notoriously stressful.

Can you give us some figures - current salary, cost of degree fees and living expenses for that period, future salary?

Are there other things you will be stopping that you think will make her childhood miserable?

No, I'm just worried she's used to going away and then won't be able to for a few years and then it won't be long where she has potentially hit the age of not wanting to come with us any more.

How do you think you will find working in the NHS full time in a clinical job? They can be notoriously stressful.

I think it'll be absolutely fine. On the whole I handle stress well, I just don't handle high pain levels well which is what happened in my previous role.

Can you give us some figures - current salary, cost of degree fees and living expenses for that period, future salary?

Band 2 salary is approx 19k a year but I'm part time so obviously I get a lot less. Band 5 salary starts at around 24k a year and the degree enables progression to band 6 with the right experience and time etc. Degree fees are paid for, we wouldn't need to pay for those.

Living expenses on the whole will be similar to now. We'd get a 25% reduction in council tax but that would be potentially offset by increased fuel (uni is further away from my current place of work), needing to buy a laptop, books etc. The drop in income going from part time to studying means we'll lose the few hundred buffer we have for holidays. If we had no holidays we'd still be able to save about £200 per month to build up the savings but ideally we want that as emergency funds - I mean you never know when your boiler might blow / car breaks down / washing machine breaks etc. plus it also covers things like annual car service, MOT etc.

Who is paying the degree fees?

Are you in England?

I think if you have support from your husband then you should go for it. Not having holidays abroad for a couple of years doesn't mean your stepdaughter will be miserable - she needs love and attention which I'm sure she has.

Can I ask - are you planning to do nursing? If so, I'd just say make sure you will be ok physically as it can be a lot of standing in your feet.

Best of luck

Not going on holiday will not harm DSD. You could explore the local area, take up a free or cheap hobby such as geocaching. Spending time together is important, the location not so much. Camping is pretty cheap.

Regarding the degree, absolutely go for it. It is something you sound passionate about, and that will increase your earning potential.

Just don't estimate how much work some NHS degrees are.

I think I would do it then, that sounds promising.

I agree a shame about missing holidays, but well worth it for the better career. Do you have any relatives or close friends you can visit in the UK during the holidays?

What will your new career be, if you don't mind saying?

Seriously just do the degree. Your dsd childhood won't be ruined by lack of a couple of holidays. You can holiday in a tent and have more fun than a 5* resort with uninvolved parents. Happy childhoods don't rely on holidays they rely on loving and involved parents.

I think it sounds like a genuine investment in your family’s future OP. And there are cheap holiday options if that’s what’s important to you.

Thanks all. The current holidays are sometimes in a tent. We tend to do 1 self catering cheap cottage holiday and 1/2 cheap camping trips. We do have family in another part of the UK. Problem is though I'm not sure it'd feel much like a holiday if we did that as we'd be sleeping on the sofa (DSD has the single bed in the spare room) and they'd expect us to do everything with them.

OP you will both definitely still be able to afford holidays for the DSD - sun holidays! We have paid a total of £401 this year for 2 holidays away - 1 week in Cornwall and 1 week in Wales. They were top grade caravans too and we were frugal whilst we were there. So dont let it put you off uni and progressing your career. Go for it!

If it is so thing like OT or Speech and Language Therapy, then definitely go for it. You should have little problem getting a FT job afterwards. It will be worth it. If you get presents from family mbmefs for bdsy/Xmas normally, could you ask this year if they'd mind cl giving cash and you take your DD away with it?

Something like that @swingofthings. That's a good idea re cash. Parents do give us a small amount throughout the year. If we put it all together we may be able to afford one camping trip.

@RockyRolly £401 isn't bad. With the drop in income though I'm not sure if we can afford that. We currently spend about £500 on accommodation for a one week cottage trip and a 3 night camping trip but our income drops by more than that. Are you including travel, spending money etc? If so then that's really reasonable.

Given the extra info you've posted, it does sound like a really good investment in your future - and 3 summers will fly by if that's the biggest concern.

I think I've read blog posts / articles (can't remember which) before about how people make a "staycation" feel more like a genuine holiday rather than just mooching around at home. Might be worth having a Google and seeing if there are any ideas that you like or make you feel better about being restricted for a few years?

Combined with the ideas on here there are probably things you can come up with to ease your worries.

I think it's great you've found something you enjoy, that doesn't cause the pain issues you had before, and where you've been able to get a funded university place to progress with it. In the wider context of your life it sounds really exciting. Grab it with both hands!