AIBU to think about leaving?

[unsure321]

Will try to give as much info with out going on too much...

My husband and I have been together 8 years, and have a 8 month old baby. Since the baby was born we really struggle to get along and its really highlighted the problems we have.

He has always been quite selfish, and likes to be the top person in the house, in his words he thinks that I 'have a big mouth', which he tells me every time I disagree with him.

Since having baby he has shown little compassion during the difficult times, I had a difficult birth, and ended up in hospital for a few days with infection, I had a reaction to the antibiotics and felt really unwell, I was really upset that I didn't feel well enough to look after our baby, and he told me if I didn't stop crying he was going to go home. Fast forward a week, we were home and I was struggling after 3rd degree tear, and was tearful and he told me to get over it, and that it wasn't like I had cancer. Which I appreciate is true, but I was in a lot of pain at the time.

These are just a couple of the hurtful things he's said, I really don't want to split my family up, but I don't know how much longer I can deal with him.

Did your dh show you any empathy at all prior to having the baby? He sounds awful. I'm sorry, OP.

He sounds like a knob
He's not even kind to you
Ltb

YANBU!! Girl this guy claims he loves you?
He sounds frustrated by every little thing
Yeah you don’t have cancer but you’ve just pushed a miracle baby into the world with your own body!! You should be allowed some cuddles and support when you’re sore/unwell
You deserves a man who supports you and treats you kind x

Sorry, but you really should split your family up. I’m sorry you’re going through such a rubbish time. Does he have any redeeming features?

He'd be out of my life with the "big mouth" comment. Honestly he sounds absolutely dreadful. Selfish, lazy, unkind - and those are his good points. LTB when and if you can.

Your husband sounds grossly insensitive, I'd be really hurt if spoken to like that. What are you going to do about it, unsure? Those remarks are not going to be forgotten and the fact that you were vulnerable and in pain after giving birth shows what a bully the man is.

Think of you and the baby and put things in place to leave.. you deserve so much more.

Have you told him how he makes you feel?

Thank you for the advice, I know that you are right.
He was actually really supportive during pregnancy and couldn't do enough to help me, but then it's been a different story since baby was born.
He is a good dad, and baby loves him which I why I'm so unsure about what to do.

Is this the example you want to set for your child? I'm sure the answer is no. Get out and don't look back. It may seem daunting, but it will be much easier with your child being so young than if they're older and are aware.

Your baby will continue to love dad and see him regularly I guess?
You shouldn’t be spoken to like that it’s bang out of order, I think couples struggle afterbirth however he sounds downright mean.
The ‘big mouth’ comment got me as well you’re not a puppy and if you disagree have an opinion you’re allowed to express such...

He is a good dad

What a low bar. Not a good dad, treats his child’s mother like shit and will almost certainly act the same way when his child is older.

You are not being unreasonable.

He's treating you horribly after everything you've been though. You deserve so much better OP.

He is not a 'good Dad' - because if he were he wouldn't treat you like a piece of shit on his shoe.
Raise your standards and get away from this toxic piece of shit!

What happens if you push back at these comments? if you say 'how dare you say that to me, I don't like it and I won't put up with it'?

Totally unacceptable to be treating you this way especially after giving birth to his child too!

I always find thinking about what advice would you offer your child if they were ever in that situation helps. Quite often brings things into perspective.