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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cut off WiFi at midnight in holidays?

36 replies

Nickersnackersnockers · 27/07/2019 11:17

DS15, since finishing for summer holidays has refused to hand over his phone and tv remote at night, as he would normally do during term time. So he has his phone and tv all night, but the WiFi switches off automatically at midnight. He will then usually watch tv, sometimes all night, and text or play games on his phone.

He usually wakes me 2 or 3 times a night, going to the loo, putting lights on, getting food etc.

He is demanding the internet all night, as I'm the only one he knows that restricts their kids usage. Last night he damaged the house again in his latest attempt for access to WiFi 24/7.

Am I being unreasonable to switch it off between midnight and 6am?

OP posts:

Bookworm4 · 27/07/2019 11:18

Damaged the house?
Can you not have a discussion with him about consideration? Doing chores in exchange for WiFi access?

Rhinosaurus · 27/07/2019 11:19

No YANBU especially if he is wandering around and waking everyone else up all night.

If he get physically aggressive and damages your house I would remove it completely for a day or two, and tell him that if he wants 24/7 internet perhaps he should get a summer job and pay for broadband himself?

Lucked · 27/07/2019 11:20

No. To be honest although 15 is a tricky age there has to be some punishment for damaging the house so I would be removing the tv from his room for a while.

HairyFloppins · 27/07/2019 11:21

My dd is a night owl and would often still be chatting to friends at 2-3am. She would just use her 4g anyway. She is very quiet though and makes no noise.

YANBU if he is being noisy or damaging the house, what did he do?

Original poster

Nickersnackersnockers · 27/07/2019 11:27

Smashes things, throws things, mirrors, glasses, cups, smashes up bedroom furniture, breaks windows, smashes the walls with a 4kg weight, smashes tv's.

That's a good idea, get a job. I'll mention it, but he's too lazy.

He refuses to do chores

OP posts:

Original poster

Nickersnackersnockers · 27/07/2019 11:29

Am I in the minority by switching their teens WiFi off?

OP posts:

ForalltheSaints · 27/07/2019 11:30

YANBU and you are probably not the only parent who does this.

He is not too young to be arrested for criminal damage as well.

Bookworm4 · 27/07/2019 11:32

I think there’s a bigger issue than WiFi. Wrecking the house, he’s a disrespectful thug. He’s trying to intimidate you into getting his way. I’d empty his room and leave a mattress, take door off and he can earn everything back. Next time he starts his shit phone the police.

fairynick · 27/07/2019 11:35

His behaviour is appalling, but I would only ever use the WiFi being cut off as a punishment at that age, not as standard practice every night.
He’s almost an adult so why are you still policing his bedtime?

MyDcAreMarvel · 27/07/2019 11:37

He’s almost an adult so why are you still policing his bedtime?
No he is 15 three years off being an adult!
My dd is 14 bedtime 10pm in holidays unless we are out doing something.

MrsAJ27 · 27/07/2019 11:40

Due to his behaviour alone, he wouldn't have access to the wifi or phone and the tv would be removed from his room.

RozHuntleysStump · 27/07/2019 11:41

I’d say 1 yr or less off an adult at 16 but I don’t understand how kids don’t seem to grow up until much older these days. I was out of the home at 16 personally and providing for myself. I wouldn’t turn off the internet personally. The rule here is no microphones after 11 and be considerate. However damage to the house seems indicative of bigger problems.

Original poster

Nickersnackersnockers · 27/07/2019 11:43

I feared someone would question me on his bedtime. He can't self regulate.

Maybe I should take off all restrictions.

OP posts:

azulmariposa · 27/07/2019 11:43

Smashes things, throws things, mirrors, glasses, cups, smashes up bedroom furniture, breaks windows, smashes the walls with a 4kg weight, smashes tv's.

Bloody hell. I think the issue here is bigger than WiFi!
If my child did that then they would loose all electronics and have to work to pay for the damage they have caused.
Not only that, it sounds as if he needs some counselling to deal with his anger issues.

Ponoka7 · 27/07/2019 11:47

So he's reacting violently to get what he wants?

You're a victim of DV and so are anyother children.

This isn't about Wifi, its about this issue.

I didn't enfirce such rules, except that if a behaviour was effecting the households sleep, it stopped.

This is, only going to escalate.

You need to speak to him and listen, work out if there us a way round this, or is this an absolute rule etc.

Tbh, around 2am would be my cut off.

Ponoka7 · 27/07/2019 11:48

" He can't self regulate."

Why is this?

What's the background?

Does he need help?

maxbabi · 27/07/2019 11:48

Nickers I am struggling (on my own) with a very similar situation.
I play music loudly etc in the mornings to wake his lazy arse.
Yes turn the WiFi off. Im ignoring my son currently as he stole a lot of money from me. And is refusing to do jobs.
So bloody stressful

MyDcAreMarvel · 27/07/2019 12:00

I’d say 1 yr or less off an adult at 16
I could say you are an adult at age 8 but saying things doesn’t make them factually correct.
Age 18 is an adult.

Sorryisntgoodenough · 27/07/2019 12:00

Am I in the minority by switching their teens WiFi off?

Ours goes off 10pm on a school night, 11pm on a weekend but now it’s summer hols I have extended it to 11:30. DC is same age as yours but is ASD so he can’t self regulate at all and would be up all night.

Rhinosaurus · 27/07/2019 12:01

Do you know what sort of things he is accessing? To go into such a rage is not normal behaviour so I would wonder why he is so distressed not be be able to get online.

I think it is right to turn it off at midnight, we always have turned ours off by setting it up on the router to stop internet to the kids devices 11pm-7am (midnight weekend’s and holidays), so they are used to it.

If you have suddenly decided to do this at age 15 when he has not had limits before then obviously he is going to find this hard to deal with.

Chasingsquirrels · 27/07/2019 12:04

Mine is 16 and has just done his GCSE's and I'm now not policing it.

But until he finished this June he had to leave his tech out of his room overnight (when I went to bed).
My 13yo would be the same except he doesn't go on it when I tell him not to (unlike ds1).

I also have timed Wi-Fi settings for each of them, although with mobile phone access now this is less limiting.

ysmaem · 27/07/2019 12:08

I don't think my mother was policing bedtimes at 15 during summer holidays. You obviously have a bigger issue here than watching TV until early hours of morning. He's trashing the house! Thats very violent behaviour, I think you need to get some advice from the GP.

WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 27/07/2019 12:17

I'm sorry OP, your son has serious emotional or cognitive problems if he is trashing the house like that. You need to get him professional help.

What kind of husband or boyfriend is he going to make? When his wife refuses him something, is it ok with you if he goes around being violent and intimidating towards her? Smashing her possessions and destroying her home?

Get your son help, and quickly. He's 3 years off 18 and then you'll have sent yet another violent angry entitled man out into the world and you won't be able to do anything about it then.

LagunaBubbles · 27/07/2019 12:22

Smashes things, throws things, mirrors, glasses, cups, smashes up bedroom furniture, breaks windows, smashes the walls with a 4kg weight, smashes tv's

Your problems are much much bigger than WiFi if this is how he behaves.

bridgetreilly · 27/07/2019 12:24

I know plenty of parents who restrict WIFI access.

Smashes things, throws things, mirrors, glasses, cups, smashes up bedroom furniture, breaks windows, smashes the walls with a 4kg weight, smashes tv's.
So now he needs a plan to pay for the damage he has caused. And he definitely does not get rewarded with all night wifi. This is really serious, OP.

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