My childhood books warped my thinking!

[Smallcowsfarawaycows]

I got my old Shirley Hughes books out of my parents attic. Lucy and Tom, Alfie etc. It's only re-reading them that I see how aspirational, and dare I say, unrealistic they are in terms of family life and I do feel they had a knock on effect on my thinking growing up. The cosy grandparents, fun aunties and uncles and the highly involved parents didn't reflect my reality. I remember as a child I had a deep longing for my family to be like the families in the books I had read to me, and in some ways I still do! My family were not neglectful or abusive but they had their own issues and hang ups and weren't like the perfect family in the stories but as a child I couldn't understand why. I just wondered what others think, are these aspirational stories good for young children or do they warp their realities and lead to unrealistic dissapointment and longing? Any books that made you think 'why isn't my life like that?' I meant this to be light-hearted (as I still love those books) but I'm not sure it has turned out this way! Also name changed as I'm speaking honestly about my family.

I used to read Bluebeard and Grimm Brothers' stories. I'm definitely a realist

@Moomin12345 that made me laugh!

I think they are perfectly fine for younger kids, assuming the child gets to read a wide variety of fiction. Then again, I used to steal my mum’s Stephen Kings books as a small child and read those so I suppose my grasp on reality has also been somewhat distorted.

I'll ask my daughter in about 10 years... She is heading to boarding school in September, so I "prepped" her by getting her to read Malory Towers...

I used to find it very comforting to think that lives like that might exist. The Alfie books also have good themes about being scared, friendships, coping with disappointment.
I agree though think one of the difficult things in children’s books is children not seeing themselves represented.
I wouldn’t have wanted to read about my own childhood experiences though, pretty miserable reading on the whole.

I didn’t get to read those books as a kid but I almost feel that I had the exact opposite experience lol!

I had quite a lonely upbringing and books were my friend. The books I enjoyed most quite often had absent or emotionally uninvolved parents and children triumphing over a difficult start. My favourites were classics like The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, The Railway Children, Anne of Green Gables, Ballet Shoes etc. I felt that I could identify with the protagonists. Their childhoods were not great but they made the best of things and I did too. This was the 90s and I don’t think I was reading the same books as my peers who preferred more modern titles. I must have found some wisdom in those older books and subconsciously leaned towards them.

It had an impact on my adult self because I wrote my Undergraduate dissertation on the role of the absent parent in children’s fiction!

Some books will always have that effect. I used to feel sad that I didn’t have adventures on islands and in coves but glad I didn’t have an evil stepmother who would force me to do all the chores.
I did however, have high expectations of potential boyfriends having read lots of romantic novels as a young teen.

I love Shirley Hughes. Whilst her books have a warm and fuzzy feeling for me (especially Alfie) I think she was ahead of her time in terms of inclusion. I remember a book (Wheels, maybe?) where the (black) Mum was a single parent and working all of the time and the sibling looked after Carlos, who then got a bike for his birthday. She covered race, religion, family dynamics in a way that others in the 60's didn't even touch on.

My childhood was much more marred by Enid Blyton, I felt like I had a very boring life. No solo adventures to islands, no treasure finds and the thought of taunting the local policeman now has me

@EleanorOalike that is very interesting view point, and your dissertation sounds fascinating!

Agree that a wide range of stories are needed, I think my mum wanted me to read just the cosy nice stories, she may well have longed for that family dynamic too as had a far harder upbringing than mine!

Enjoying all the responses!

Not once in my whole childhood of summers of going out playing with friends did we ever find a mystery to solve. No thieves who hid their booty in trees, no smugglers on the coast. We never even found a secret tunnel. Not once.

And I only ever had small rare glasses of ginger beer. Never lashings of it.

I did however, have high expectations of potential boyfriends having read lots of romantic novels as a young teen

Ah yes, Sweet Valley High not only gave me those expectations, but the mindset that all teenagers get convertible cars bought for them as soon as they pass their tests. Their parents seemed to have no input into their lives other than financial

The fairy tales I read as a child always said that childless people were sad people. So I thought I needed children to make me happy. Social conditioning at work.

I seem to remember reading the whole of the 'Biggles' oeuvre, but not once have I tried to fly a plane.

I’m still disappointed that I never got invited to Hogwarts....

But my dad was honestly concerned 3 years ago and felt he had to break it to me that Santa isn’t real (my mum/husband still get me presents from him)

I love the Shirley Hughes books. My DS looks exactly like Alfie. They are very comforting and homely.

@SoundsAboutRight I absolutely loved Malory Towers!! Used to beg my mum to send me to boarding school so I could have midnight feasts 😂

Was there not something similar, St Clare's? Did it involve twins?

Deeply into detective stories like the Hardy boys and Nancy Drew as a kid. I now see how this has led to me fancying the pants of Aidan Quinn as captain Gregson in Elementary!

@EleanorOalike Brilliant dissertation topic. I’ve not long gone back to uni to study some modules just because I fancied doing so, and in my children’s lit course I did a coupe of essays choosing to focus on things like absent parents in children’s lit. It’s been a brilliant module - highly recommend it!

balonzz I'm a massive Biggles fan, too! I think I always knew that books were made up, not representative. Maybe because I used to write my own stories from quite a young age. So although I did envy the lifestyles in the books I read, I always knew it wasn't real and didn't feel I'd missed out. Maybe it helped that I grew up around a lot of disadvantaged children so never saw anyone IRL living the kind of life I saw in books.

I think I’m probably of a slightly different generation but growing up I read Jaqueline Wilson pretty much exclusively. I came from a broken home and her books all represent dysfunctional families in some way or another and I could really relate. In fact, I found it quite weird that some of my friends had parents who were still together and actually liked each other!

I think part of it is the nostalgia of our own childhoods too. The things we longed for then, remember from then and don’t have now we’re grown up.

I also loved all the books mentioned. As a working single mum I feel a massive regret I can’t give my children those kind of cosy childhood memories. As much as I want to do a lovely breakfast with us all around the table, warm damp socks by an open fire, drink hot chocolate and eat toast before bed etc it never seems to happen.... we all leave the house by 8am so it’s a mad rush in the morning. I have radiators not open fires and I’m usually doing housework in the evenings not nestled up with hot chocolate and stories.

I do think those kind of stories are comforting though.

@supercee

Yes, you are right - "Twins at St Clare's". Couldn't get that series though for some reason, so it had to just be Malory Towers! Although there are loads more books now, same kind of characters but written by Pamela Cox in the style of Enid Blyton. They even still say Enid Blyton on the spine...

@PinkFlamingo888 I was obsessed with Jaqueline Wilson too!

My dad was sat opposite her on a train a few years ago, still fuming he never got me an autograph but apparently they had a chat and she was lovely.

When I was very young, I read my Grandfather's school stories-dating from about 1890 to about 1910. They were all about Fags, and Studies, and Public School traditions.
The illustrations showed schoolboys in stiff collars and boaters.
For quite a long time, I believed when I left Primary School, my next school would be like that.

My favourite books were the Lorna Hill Sadlers Wells ballet books, and any books about horse riding. I longed to be a girl having ballet lessons, and going riding in lovely countryside. As I was from a big working class family living in inner city Manchester, it was never gonna happen!