To ask your opinions on this Reddit post- waiter served “pregnant” woman virgin cocktails without her knowledge

[AngeloMysterioso]

So there’s a sub on Reddit called Am I The Asshole (it’s essentially Reddit’s version of AIBU) where a waiter posted about a work incident a couple of days ago- it’s been picked up by several online media and gone viral.

Essentially, this waiter chap is serving a group of women and hears one of them saying she is 14 weeks along, and assumes that she is pregnant. So when she and her friends order rounds of cocktails he swaps her drink orders for non-alcoholic versions without telling her.

He only got caught because the bartender had been adding them to the bill as virgin drinks- it was apparently the waiter's intention that she should be billed (and pay for) alcoholic drinks, thus keeping her in the dark about his actions. When she did realise, she escalated it with his manager and now he’s in deep shit, basically.

The reaction online is split between people hailing him as an hero fighting for the health of an unborn child, whilst others (and I’m with this side) think that he’s not only been extremely presumptuous and attempted to defraud a customer, but it isn’t his place to decide what the woman should have been allowed to drink.

Just curious to hear what MNers think of this one really!

I think this is an 'everyone sucks here' situation.

I mean... it’s probably not true is it, which takes some of the enthusiasm out of answering. Obviously the guy’s a dick. 14 weeks along could mean anything - 14 weeks into a new job/ relationship/ hobby/ tv series. Jumping to that conclusion is quite something.

But also - patronising and paternalistic to take the choice away from an adult woman. I know someone who chose to drink in pregnancy. It wouldn’t have been my choice, I was absolutely tee-total (partly as alcohol tasted abhorrent). But I’d defend someone else’s right to choose to drink.

But more than all that, if you’re going to refuse to serve someone, which I suppose is any bartender’s right, at least have the courage of your convictions and do it honestly and openly. Doing it this way is so infantalising.

I remain gobsmacked that people can't taste the difference.

I think it's utterly contrived bollocks.

He’s a misogynistic twat

it was apparently the waiter's intention that she should be billed (and pay for) alcoholic drinks, thus keeping her in the dark about his actions.

Man doesn't understand woman making choices. Consent is a stranger to him. He's the asshole.

He's a major asshole for even making this up, too.

Yeah, I think that definitely belongs in r/thathappened.

I know MN gets trolls, but you can spot Reddit’s a mile off- the OPs can never resist portraying themselves to be moral, everyday heroes just showing it to The Man.

I thought this comment summed it up pretty well-

“YTA and I’d put money on the woman not even being pregnant. It would probably be quite hard to find three other people who are so nonchalant about a woman in her second trimester knocking back drinks. You eavesdropped OP, how can you be sure you were right?

Consider the following conversation

“Well, I think the sickest I’ve ever been was that time I was pregnant with Nora. I mean it wasn’t morning sickness, it was that time John and I went on that cruise! You never heard that story? Okay, I’m 14 weeks pregnant and we want to take one last vacation before the baby comes but before I’m all big and sweaty and uncomfortable So we book this Caribbean cruise and I’m stoked. I’ve never been on a cruise before, how should I know I get sea sick! I was miserable the entire time but I don’t want to take anything obviously. No! No morning sickness at all, in fact when I told John I was pregnant HE threw up! ha ha, you try for a baby for two years and when it finally happens you’re still scared as shit! Yeah it’s crazy she’s turning 5 this year...”

Do you see how if you drifted in and out of that conversation you could catch the totally wrong idea?”

To be honest if the whole thing is made up BS I think it's still a relevant debate, particularly as it could come under the umbrella of all those hideous "foetal personhood" laws currently being billed all over the States.

Leaving aside the fact that he was being a judgmental knob, if this was in the UK, this was an offence under the Trade Descriptions Act. The goods supplied were not as described. She should have been given a refund on all her drinks, not just her share of the tip.

And he should have been sacked immediately.

Not only would such a waiter be an officious little shit, but he would be guilty of fraud (and rendering his employer liable for legal action) because he was trying to charge a customer for alcoholic drinks when he had deliberately served that customer non-alcoholic (and therefore cheaper) drinks.

I think it's probably bullshit, as well - made up by some sad neckbeard who's been fired from several customer-facing jobs for being inappropriate towards women.