To think my mother isn't right

[Cantsleeppast3am]

She made me feel bad about my period , told me to give her my
"soiled" pants when I first started.
Constantly told me she was "finished" with me when I did something she disapproved off(truancy usually)

I've constantly felt like I've disappointed her but I don't feel she's put any effort in- for example, I've a mouth full of fillings because she couldn't make the effort to brush my teeth, her teeth are fine.
It sounds ridiculous but she has always made me feel it's my fault, I was a bad kid

I have known a 7 or 8 year old several times over. They know that it is bath and bed. They know about teeth brushing and go to dentists.
What I am saying is if there are fillings in OPs teeth she must have seen a dentist.
I know that some females are a bit shy about periods and carrying spare sanpro. I can think about the shame angle. I could think there is some confusion but at school we were told given sex ed which included information on sanpro bins and iirc incinerators in girls toilets. I would not want to deal with used sanpro in these "non specific" toilets where there is mixed use but other than that all the girls at school had to deal with disposing of used sanpro.
I am not trying to be thick. I really can not get my head around keeping used sanpro, especially if mum or grandma were finding the used ones.
I can understand that dealing with old used sanpro would be disgusting for another person. Mums and grandmas would also have had to deal with the same situations

They 'know' this because the caring, responsible adults in their lives do it for them when they are little and then teach them to do it for themselves as they grow. Caring adults ensure there is toothpaste, a toothbrush. Hot water for washing, soap.

Sadly, not all children have caring, responsible adults in their lives. Some babies become silent because nobody comes when they cry. Some children are neglected to the point of malnutrition.

How are your contributions helpful stillme ?
Can you not understand that when you're raised by a toxic parent you react differently to children raised in a loving, validating home.
In fact your repeated inability to accept what the op is saying is invalidating too. Please stfu if you're thinking of adding more of the same.

Can'tsleeppast3am I'm so sorry you experienced all that. I think that perhaps you might benefit from some counseling, if that's at all possible.

Navisprite your gran sounds like an awful person,

I am trying to understand. The OP has spoken out here. If she or any other poster can explain things I am very willing to read and get to grips with such a situation
I get that a very young child would not understand or do anything like bath or teeth cleaning but once a child is in nursery and school how would a teacher not notice.
I dont want to derail OP's thread. I dont know how I can help anyone. I tried before. I do have good reason to try to get a better understanding and if nothing else for others I need more info to see if there is a hope of helping someone who did not start life without a decent adult present but has changed from the usual tasks of daily cleaning and grooming to neglect of themself as an adult

StillMe1 Have a look at the thread I linked to. Read it all. I get that anyone can post anywhere, but equally it's not appropriate to disbelievingly cross question people who have been abused.
The reason people who have been abused 'don't tell' is partly because they think no one will believe them. However inadverently, that's what your posts are perpetuating.
As you've said, we are at risk of derailing here, so enough said.

OP, blaming your mother for everything wrong in your life is an easy thing to do but it won't really help you.

I think what Stillme1 is probably trying to get across is that whilst you mother was not a model mother, you probably have to bear some responsibility for the decisions you've made during your 40 years on earth. Not as a wee child of course.

Did you get all your fillings while you were a child under 10 say? That's shocking. I often wonder why Brits have such badly shaped and cares for teeth. There are lots of good dentists, the cost isn't prohibitive and the NHS makes it affordable.

If a child isn’t taught how to properly brush her teeth how will she know how to? It doesn’t take a lot before you get cavities. I used to supervise my dc brushing their teeth for ages, sometimes younger dc would attempt to only brush the easy to reach teeth, sometimes one or both wouldn’t bother to brush at night unless I made them.

Marvellous that your dc all brushed their teeth perfectly by the age of 7 and had no cavities previous to that.

Mine would have had no teeth had I left them to their own devices.

If the OP went to the dentist regularly for fillings, I expect that the dentist would at some stage have explained to the OP about the importance of brushing and demonstrated how to brush. I certainly remember being told how to brush my teeth properly by the dentist.

At 6 / 7 the OP would not have had all her adult teeth. So if all or most of her adult teeth had fillings, that would have happened very quickly before say the age of 10, an age at which I imagine the OP would have had greater awareness and ability to make an effort at brushing her teeth well.

@Weezol I am not in the least disbelieving the OP. There are so many things in my life that I took a certain action and now years later I think why did I do that or say that etc. I will look for the link to another thread and read every word.
I was willing to help the person I know in real life but I now see that maybe they were not ready or maybe my suggestions were too much. There is a fine example of how I probably did the wrong thing but it was from the point of view of protecting a younger person from teenage to adulthood. I get so much wrong but it is not from being a bad person. This is why I hope to learn here.

Most of us know that damage to the milk teeth can affect the adult teeth.

Some of us know that a child who has suffered abuse may react by truancy or lack of self care. I am so happy that I am not a teenager anymore, and I really struggled emotionally with my own dd to get her through the teen years. It helped me though.

I hope you can find some peace.

Decay in milk teeth will only affect adult teeth if the decay is so extensive that it reaches the developing adult teeth, including causing abscess. That would have to have been phenomenal neglect if many of OP's teeth were affected in that way.