I don’t want to go.

[Hadenoughofitall441]

We are going on what some might call a holiday of a lifetime on Sunday, and I really don’t want to go. I have anxiety and it’s at full flow right now. DP is already on edge as his dad has had some health issues so he worried about that so has been moody all evening. I said one thing he threatened to cancel because he’s too stressed. Which in turn is making me more anxious because I don’t want to let DS down, he’s asd and knows but dd doesn’t. It’s only 6 days but I’m looking forward to next Friday alReady. Anyone else felt similar

Yes, totally understand how you're feeling and it's horrible. Best advice I can give you is to think about afterwards, not going will mean you'll look back and the memory will be negative, DC's disappointment, your guilt at them missing out, resentment and bad feeling between you and DH. Whereas if you give yourself a mental shake, concentrate on the positives and go you can look back and feel proud you did it, it will be an achievement rather than a failure.

I know it's hard, I struggle to leave my house at times because of anxiety but I've had to develop strategies so it doesn't impact DC. So I fake it, I pretend (to myself as much as anyone else) positivity and sweep everyone else along with me, including my own stress-prone DH. He seems to find it harder to get stressed and snappy in the face of me channelling Mary Poppins funnily enough and it saves us feeding off each other's stress and ending up in a negative loop.

I'm aware this might not work for everyone, I think it only works for me because I'm so bloody stubborn tbh but it seems to help if I frame it as a challenge and refuse to let anxiety win. I hope you manage to go, it will be worth it to see the DC happy

I was the same except I knew DM was dying. We go tomorrow and mum died in the early hours of this morning. I'm fortunate in many ways because we knew it was coming and I've had today with my brothers and sisters to finalise funeral plans. I don't want to go but DM was insistent and I can't do anything more.

@walnutwhipster sorry for your loss

@MT2017 thank you.

Sorry for your loss @walnutwhipster 💐