To want a house with no spiders in it?

[WoopWoopitsthesoundofdaminties]

Surely IANBU to want to be able to walk into a room, or sit on my sofa, without freezing in terror at the sight of eight evil legs twinkling or drifting across the floor or hanging above my head.

I know they eat bugs. But I think I’d rather have the bugs. And how many bugs do they think they are going to catch in my (very clean, thank you very much) house? Why can’t they sod off to the garden where they belong?

I'm so scared of spiders but I've got better at dealing with it. We've got the false widow bitey ones the Daily Express likes to go on about. They're very docile but I'm afraid I do kill them, can't risk kids being bitten. Big hairy house spiders get hoovered up in my spider vacuum and relocated to the garden. Spindle ones get thanked and welcomed. If one touched my bum hole though there'd be hell to pay.