Boss having affair - would you care?

[academic1234]

I have 2 bosses - head and deputy - they're having an affair. I don't think it makes any difference to anything. They are very professional and work very hard - they don't bring their personal lives to work.

Would you care?

None of your business. Leave them to it. If it's not affecting their work, it no one else's concern.

There are so many possible variables - that it is hard to say. Are they both/one of them married to other people ? (in this case I might inwardly form my own opinion of their behaviour, but if it didn;t affect work then it wouldn;t be my business)
If you work in a role where you may come into contact with their respective spouses, then that could be awkward I imagine.
Depends what their job is, and whether their behaviour impacts your work or the working environment in general.

they're not bringing their personal lives into work at the moment but there will become a time when it's bound to hit the fan.

how do you know they're having an affair?

How do you know about it if it’s not affecting work?

I agree @Vesperia. If someone on their team knows, it's not a well-kept secret and I'd probably question their judgement... although obviously it'd really be none of my business.

Ooh I’ve been in exactly this situation! Years ago, my boss was a director and she was having an affair with the CEO. He left his wife and married her in the end. I just ignored it at the time but some of the other directors used to get annoyed about it.

Are they both/one of them married to other people ?

At least one of them must be, surely? Unless you mean married as opposed to in a "lesser" relationship - still an affair?

Nope. Must be good fodder for gossip around the office though.

Well, I wouldn't be too happy about any of my direct reports taking such an interest in my own personal life. And, in return, I keep out of my manager's personal life.

Tbh I think 2 married colleagues having an affair is a big deal and could bring problems to the school.

I dont work in a school so dont know if there are rules around this.

But i worked in an office where our counets expected a certain level of behaviour and our company did want to be associated with bad press. Which was fine until a colleagues wife turned up and cause holy hell, because he was shagging a woman there. Someone people and sold and it was in the local papers. Both of them were sacked for basically bringing trouble to the door. Cant remember the exact terminology, some about bringing the company into disrepute.

I’d be annoyed if put in a position where I had to cover up for them.

yeah - i know a few people in my office doing this - its not my problem and most people stay out of it. Not affecting their work in anyway.

Could there be any conflict of interest, eg, performance management (snurk!) pay awards etc?

But what happens when one of them dumps the other? It'll get messy.

*Are they both/one of them married to other people ?

At least one of them must be, surely? Unless you mean married as opposed to in a "lesser" relationship - still an affair?*

That's what I was trying to clarify (no idea what you mean by lesser relationship - I used married as shorthand for people in a long term relationship i.e. officially with a partner - what lesser relationships were you thinking of ?) but I have heard of people describing two single people who work together who decide to have a relationship as having an 'affair'. if this is what OP means then clearly it is of no concern to anyone else but the couple.

Unless it affects you personally, your work or your dealings with their spouses then keep yourself to yourself.

I suppose it’s more difficult if you’re strongly religious and it bothers you that way. Still no reason to stick in your nose, but I can see it might affect your work.

It only matters to you if there's favouritism.

I wouldn’t care personally but I’d think they were extremely unprofessional and suspect it’ll blow up one way or another.

I'm not bothered at all but it's gossip. I was wondering if I should be bothered.

An affair or a relationship?

Are they in a school?

I don't understand why you need to ask others if you should be bothered, it's up to you what you get bothered about.

None of your business.

I would not want to work with them. If they are having an affair it says a lot about them, they are dishonest, selfish, and cannot be trusted.

On a personal level I would have less respect for them. But on a professional level as long as it isn’t affecting work it’s none of my business so crack on.

I worked in this exact scenario in the 1980s, small office but part of a larger organisation. Boss and office manager having affair, she would swan in around 11.am after having her nails/hair done and then they would go for long lunches. She left her Neanderthal husband and they moved in together, lasted about two weeks before he was back with his wife, probably didn't fancy swopping a nice home for a rented council flat. He got a transfer and she was left looking bloody stupid and crying that "he said he loved me" - of course he did, he was getting his leg over.