Dh lack of effort/patience with dd

[Westside1]

I feel this will be the cause of our marriage ending. I’ve been so disappointed with the lack of support/help from dh mainly since our dh arrived. Because I was a sahm I did most of the housework etc and he just left me to it but now I’m back at work I’ve had to continuously ask him for help in the house.

However the main issue of disagreement is about our 4 year old dd. He has no experience with children, I’m a qualified childcare worker, I’m not saying I’m perfect but after dealing with hundreds of preschoolers I feel I’ve a good idea of what does and doesn’t work, yet he constantly criticises the way I deal with dd. Yesterday she had a major tantrum after being woken from a nap and was roaring her head off. I would usually comfort and reassure her until she settles down. His attitude is just ignore her let her scream and he actually said on front of her, he wondered If she is ‘alright in the head’ I’m so upset since. I think it’s an appalling thing to say to anyone let alone your own child.

He has no patience with her when she plays up and can’t seem to handle normal toddler behaviour. Days out are rare but if she misbehaved at all he goes on and on. I am beginning to wonder if life would be easier within him in it. It has actually turned me off him and I’m not sure there is any way back for us.

Has anyone any advice? thanks

he constantly criticises the way I deal with dd
Yet is unable or unwilling to deal with her himself.
Ditto housework, despite you both having jobs.
He will leave an upset 4 year old to scream with no comfort, & made that awful remark about "alright in the head" in front of her.

You need to choose a quiet time after DD is in bed & raise these issues with him.
If he doesn't want to listen, is impatient or critical of you ... then you have your answer about is there a way back.

He is disrespectful of both you & his own child, & unless he owns that behaviour & commits to changing it - why would you subject yourself & DD to any more of it?

LTB. You would both be better off without him

He will not change, my Ex was the same and still is now. I did not leave but knew there was issues but kept tiptoeing around not to upset him. My son was terrified to play with anything in case it upset his dad. Please listen to your instincts. If he can treat his own DC like that, what else is he capable of?

Thank you for all the replies, I’ve been here before. I suppose I will reach a point where I’ve had enough. One of the main reasons I went back to work is to gain some financial independence. But deep down I know life is too short and it’s not fair on a child to live with parents that don’t get on.