.. to put my children into two different settings?

[NannaNoodleman]

What are people's thoughts on accessing two settings for their children? (ie a nursery and a preschool).

My children currently attend a nursery while I'm at work (8:30-4:30). I want them to start at the local preschool as they will being going to the attached primary. Unfortunately the preschool only does half days (finishes at 1).
I asked if their nursery could take them for the afternoon session (1-4:30) and the manager had a bit of a go at me about it.

I was wondering if this really was such a bizarre idea.

School nursery won't be a school like setting at age 2. It will be play based completely. If you are expecting lessons you will be disappointed. Even in reception they spend the majority of time learning thro play. The school setting you want dosent really kick in untill year 1.

We live in a village with no childminders, it’s not that unusual! Both nursery and preschool will have to follow the Early Years curriculum so there’s not going to be a vast difference.

TBH I wouldn’t put down the behaviour issues nursery raised down to being bright, have you considered it might be because she’s not quite where she should be yet? You don’t sound that happy with the nursery and don’t assume it’s because the nursery isn’t meeting your child’s needs.

At our tiny village school we have a handful of children every year who haven’t been to the local Playgroup and they fit in absolutely fine.

The manager is probably wondering what is wrong with her setting that you want to drop the morning sessions
She is probably miffed that you are halving your sessions and the nursery is going to lose half the fees
If it’s only a small setting then that’s a big drop in occupancy
I agree with previous posters, 2 year olds don’t need to be in a school environment, quite the opposite

Did the same thing with my son. After two years in a small nursery that served infants thru 4 year olds) I moved him to Preschool (called prekindergarten here) at the school he would be attending. It was a different teacher and different classmates and different setting and the school served ages 4-18 so there was more stimulation and activities. He thrived in the new setting and was able to adapt and make friends who would be with him throughout his educational years.

DD2 had that arrangement. It was the standard where we were living then... 3hrs at school, then a member of the nursery staff would walk over to the preschool to pick up the children for the wrap around session (along with a preschool staff member accompanying them on the 5 minute walk). The term before they were due to start into the preschool they took them for Settling in sessions.

I think my school -ish comment has been misinterpreted.

By school -ish I mean the preschool has access to more resources. It's a bigger space and they have 'stations' set up (sensory, craft, small world, etc). They rotate the activities and change the activities. They do joint break time with the reception class. They have a gym lesson. It's just a bit more stimulating.

Also, I'm not misguided about DD. I'm fairly informed about child development and she is bright. She's not super advanced (she's not "gifted") but for her age she has advanced language and social communication skills. Her problem solving and working memory are very good. I'm sure her development will even out with her peers but for now she's a bit ahead. She likes to have proper conversations and engage in imaginative play... at preschool she'll be able to play with her friends. She is very sweet and kind to the other children in the baby room but she takes on a mother role with them rather than play with them.

Totally normal to do this where we are in the UK. In fact, many of the private nurseries will do the pick up (if morning session at school nursery) or drop off (if the pm session). Private nurseries offer this as a selling point as parents pick the ones that offer the wrap around care. Lots of parents do a combo of private and school nursery for some of the reasons mentioned in OP's post. We did it and it worked well for us. Where I am though, it's really common and the most popular private nurseries offer wrap around care for all of the primary schools where we are.

I think your nursery manager sounds a bit unprofessional. No need for her to be snippy about it, it's a totally normal thing to ask! In fact I asked DD's nursery manager about this just the other week.

In my area it's very common for children to attend two settings BUT the nurseries don't offer half days. So parents have to pay for a full day of childcare at the nursery (although they can use 15 hours of their 30 hours funding) even though they're only using half a day during term time. The nursery does offer a free pick up service from the pre-school.

A lot of parents do still go for this as it solves their holiday childcare (when the pre-school breaks up the children can make use of their full days in the nursery instead). But seeing as you don't need holiday childcare, you're quite lucky that your nursery does actually offer half day sessions.

It seems fairly common to mix settings.

I understand the nursery manager might be miffed about the drop in income but I'm not sure that warrants her being so snippy. She's been in childcare for over 30 years, surely she's experienced parents mixing settings before.

We've been happy with the nursery and have participated in all of the parent days etc. The small homely setting has been perfect for the children when they were babies. It's been so nurturing with lots of outdoor play and home cooked meals etc.

Things seemed to have changed and we can't quite put our finger on what's going on. They are 'down' about DD and seem to mention things she's done wrong and never the things she done right. I became concerned about her presentation (advanced language skills and avoidant behaviour) and asked a colleague (ed psych) to have a session with her. She doesn't have avoidant behaviour- she's 2!

DS has had a couple of periods in his life when he's been anxious (house move etc) and on one occasion he was in such a state that I took a couple of hours off work and kept him home until he settled down. This was about a year ago and she brought that up in a "you keep DS off too much when he's having a tantrum and it's affected his attendance - it won't wash at preschool " (to heavily paraphrase). I'd have been sacked if I'd taken as much time off with DS as she'd implied!

The entire conversation made me feel like shit: DD is some sort of toddler delinquent and I keep DS at home all the time!!

And it was over something that is apparently quite a normal decision to make.

What have other parents done,? Quite common here to do that. Is the nursery struggling?

Other preschool parents either are farmers (self employed so can pick up), have family living locally to help with childcare, have au pairs, or are SAHPs.

We're 'foreigners' (not locals and newish to the area) and both work (although I am only part time and term time only so we're quite lucky).

That sounds like a normal scenario where I live and I did it myself with my eldest. She went to pre-school 4 days and nursery 1 day. Even my youngest goes to 2 different childminders to cover the hours we need! They’re both absolutely fine btw and enjoy their time at the different settings. Settled in quickly and there’s never been any problems.

I’d be pretty pissed off if a nursery spoke to me like that and implied I wasn’t doing my beat for my child though.