Been friends with someone over 30 years, we have always been close. She’s helped me through a lot in my life and vice versa.
She has always been very dramatic and if she has a problem the world needs to stop and help her deal with it. I haven’t minded over the years because Like I said she has been a very good friend to me.
Last year she had her second dd. With us being so close I honestly thought I would have been a little more involved as I hadn’t met her little one for 2 months. I had text/phoned quite a bit to make sure she knew where I was if she needed help and when I could meet her. Each time was met with an excuse- which is fair enough, people have their own lives and obviously having a second dd was going to be exhausting.
I cooled off a little as I don’t want to suffocate anyone. By this point I also had my own stuff to deal with, I had been diagnosed with anxiety/depression and was put on medication. Not to play the victim but I was having a rough time but kept this separate from my friend as I didn’t want to bring a “downer” on her having her baby.
We eventually met up and all hell broke lose. I got accused of being a “selfish bitch” for not being there for her, I had made no effort, I had dropped her and was going out with other people. I have 3 children and need to keep them entertained so yes I was having days out with friends- which I had invited her too.
I had tarnished the first few months of what should have been a “magical thing” because she was so worried about where I was. Her husband said I was a shitty person apparently and I had done nothing but let her family down when she needed me the most. The gifts I bought for her daughter were thoughtless and I’m just out for what I can get.
Just to be noted though, she had put her back out and I had offered to drive 30 miles at 3 in the morning when she had text me through the night telling. But apparently that was just to make me look like a good friend.
I left feeling like I was the worst friend in the world. I was heartbroken and couldn’t understand why anyone would want to associate themselves with me. I had text her a few days later and tried to sort it out. Explaining that I stopped texting EVERY day as I thought she was just tired and probably sick of me being a needy friend and wanted to give her space to adjust to her new life.
I thought everything was sorted as I said I would try and make a bit more effort. Since then I have tried to arrange little play dates as she said I never bothered, to get met with “sounds like a good idea” but on the actual day I hear nothing from her.
Last night I got a text cutting me out of her two children’s baptism saying I wasn’t needed as godparent anymore and to not be offended.
Aibu to cut this friend off now? I am so sick of worrying day in day out about how I can be a better friend and it’s really getting me down. I just really want to stop trying now. It’s effecting me and actually has me doubting myself. I would like to think I would be there for any of my friends but it just seems so one sided. Everything I seem to do or arrange is wrong. I can understand if she was like this with everyone but she’s not.
Obviously I’m going to miss her as me and my children think the absolute world of her but I am constantly apologising and it’s getting to the point where I don’t actually know what I’m doing wrong?
Sorry it’s so long I think i just needed somewhere to vent. Thankyou xx