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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to move DC school before we have a moving date?

19 replies

StayGoGoStay · 26/07/2019 08:31

I'm posting here for traffic, and also because DH and I are going round in circles about what's best to do. Sorry this is a bit long. I've also name-changed as it's outing.

We were supposed to be moving house this month and as such we've registered DC (just finished Y1) to move to new school in Sept. But our sale has just fallen through (for 2nd time, both very close to exchange and due to personal circumstances of buyers rather than anything to do with the house). Both times we got over-asking-price offers within a week. We're not so confident this time because July is a shit time of year to try to sell a family house. Plus new Brexit uncertainty.

Seller of house we're buying (on which we're ready to exchange) is waiting for us (not indefinitely, obviously). If worse comes to worst we could complete on that house before we sell our one, but that would incur significant financial penalties for us, so we'd rather not. But short of it is, we're not going to lose house we're trying to buy but we're not sure when we will move to it.

So here's the quandary. Do we move DC to new school in Sept even though we won't have moved house, on the assumption that we'll be moving house at some point in the Autumn? School is about a 25-min drive each way. We also have a younger DC who's at nursery, which is not on way to DC1's new school. So it's going to be a right old pain, but doable (both DH and I work from home, so we can split the school/ nursery runs).

The other option is we send DC1 back to her old school until we actually have a moving date? But I worry that would be really disruptive. Having her 'last ever' day there a few weeks ago was a big deal for her, her classmates made her a goodbye card, etc. In other words, she's psychologically geared up to move to a new school.

We're so unsure what to do and trying to decide what's right for DC is adding massively to the whole stress of this situation. Any advice welcome!

OP posts:

titchy · 26/07/2019 08:33

Can you afford both houses for a year or two? Or just a few months?

IHeartKingThistle · 26/07/2019 08:34

I had the same situation, right down to the time of year! I chose to start my DD at the new school. Was the right thing for her but I had a bitch of a commute and was on my knees when we finally completed just before Christmas

mamaoffourdc · 26/07/2019 08:36

I would move the child to the new school and suck up the commute x

arewethereyetmum78 · 26/07/2019 08:41

I had the same thing except new school was an hour away. I moved the kids for start of new school year but I was so glad to move in the October. It was definitely the best thing for them as they'd already said goodbye to their old friends in June and their new P2 class was a mix of 3 classes from the previous year so they never really felt like the new girls.

Rockbird · 26/07/2019 08:42

If you're definitely going to move one way or the other then send her to the new school. It would be very hard on her to have had her goodbye only to send her back again in September.

Zippyx · 26/07/2019 08:45

Move the child to the new school.

As you said, they are mentally prepared to move now and going back could be unsettling.

bordellosboheme · 26/07/2019 08:50

A 25 minute commute bis not really that bad at all. Are you definitely moving?

MyOtherProfile · 26/07/2019 08:53

Any chance you could just rent the old house out and go ahead with the move?

Original poster

StayGoGoStay · 26/07/2019 09:07

Thanks everyone for helping provide perspective at a moment when we're so stressed out I think I might burst. Also good to hear others have been through the same and survived!

We could manage financially for up to a year owning both houses (possibly longer). But we really hope it doesn't come to that as we'd be burning through money (ie 2 x council tax and bills, needing to keep house we're trying to sell furnished, etc) that we'll never get back. But this is our 'forever' (or at least until DC leave home) move, so I guess it's worth it in the long run.

We don't want to rent out current house as that will incur even more costs and we want to be able to sell it as soon as possible, rather than being tied into tenants for 6+ months.

OP posts:

LemonTreeLemon · 26/07/2019 09:21

What happens if the seller of the house you want to buy pulls out? Will you still look for another house in the area? This is the only scenario where the plan could fall down.

If you will stay in the new area no matter what then it's a no brainier.

I really feel for you. Moving house is sooo stressful!

RandomUsernameHere · 26/07/2019 09:23

I have a 25 min each way school run and it's really not too bad. Hope everything works out for you!

Singlebutmarried · 26/07/2019 09:25

I’m guessing then that you’re cash buyers?

If so complete and then rent you current home out for 6/12 months.

EugenesAxe · 26/07/2019 09:28

I agree with Rockbird.

Don’t know what year we’re looking at, but other school may also have had class re-jigs or something so if she goes for start of term she could be finding her feet with some of the other children too. I’m sure things like that don’t make a huge difference to other children; if she’s popular she’ll be so at any time - but it might help her transition a bit.

I really hope it all works out!

Ironfloor269 · 26/07/2019 10:33

We just went through an almost identical situation. Our buyer's purchase fell through twice. It was all up in the air and we were in the same quandary - do we apply for new school (again, like you, about 40 minutes from current house), do we tell her current school, do we say goodbye to all her school friends...the list went on. The council beeds 20 school days to process a new application and holidays were fast approaching. It was so stressful.

In the end, we applied to her new school and got a place just before schools broke up. If worse came to worst, we were going to sell our house and move to tented accommodation until we found a house to buy.

But exchange happened a few days ago so it's all good now.

Ironfloor269 · 26/07/2019 11:20

Rented accommodation, not tented accommodation. I don't think we'd cope with camping for months.

Original poster

StayGoGoStay · 26/07/2019 14:12

Ha! Hopefully we won't end up sleeping in our tent. Given our luck so far I wouldn't be surprise though...

OP posts:

Worlds0kayestmum · 26/07/2019 14:16

I had a similar situation and started my DD at her new school. I think it was easier on her in the long run so she didn't have to settle mid year when the class was already established

Original poster

StayGoGoStay · 26/07/2019 15:32

Thanks again for all your replies. It's helped give clarity in a shitty situation. And sorry to hear so many of you have been through the same. The whole moving process sucks. Especially when you're trying to juggle stuff like new schools.

I suppose the only thing that would scupper things if we do start DC at new school in Sept is if our seller decides to not wait for us. But really hoping it doesn't come to that. All very nerve wracking stuff.

OP posts:

Ironfloor269 · 26/07/2019 16:14

OP, it really, really sucks. I don't know why the UK laws are so backward when it comes to property buying/selling. I wish we were more like Scotland, where once your acceptance of an offer is more legally binding.

Good luck!

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