To speak to these parents on last day of term

[1stmonkey]

So 8 year old DD has come home from school today upset about comments a "friend" has made to her. This has been going on for most of the year with this girl, let's call her P, making snidey comments, and basically low-level bullying DD (among others, they are in the same friendship group).
For months now DH and i have been trying to help her manage the situation herself, all the usual stand up for yourself, tell a teacher, avoid/ignore her, kindof stuff. I genuinely think it's the bickering and bitchiness between girls that is starting and while P has definitely been a "mean girl", DD has not wanted us to approach the school about it.
We've all, DD, DH and i, taken comfort in the fact that they won't be in the same class together after the summer holidays so DD won't have to deal with her as much but this evening DD has said that she has had enough of P and just cannot take anymore. She was more upset that i've ever seen her and obviously i want to deal with it.
Given it's the last day of term tomorrow i don't really see that i'm going to get anywhere via the school and to be fair come September it may be a non-issue.
But AIBU to approach Ps parents. They are not together as a couple but either mum or dad is usually at pick up and i feel like i need to say something about Ps behaviour and the impact its having on my DD.
Keen to hear how/if you would handle it?

I'm with the others. Leave it till next term. A lot can change over a summer holiday.
I expect DDs outburst has more to with the fact it's the end of term and she's shattered and everything seems like a bit of an uphill struggle rather than the situation really escalating.
Have a good chat with her in the morning, tell her what you plan to do ie get through the last day, have an awesome summer break with lots of time with nice friends and then if it continues with September you won't hesitate in sorting things out with the school. She will feel supported and optimistic. Honestly, it doesn't sound overly serious and a lot can change in a few short weeks. I think it is still one to monitor rather than take immediate action over.

I wouldn't confront the parents. They'll find it aggressive to be doing it on the last day and may well talk about it at home within earshot of the child which may add fuel to the fire as in, if they bad mouth you, she'll feel more entitled to behave badly. I'd tell your daughter you support her and if she has any worries next term, you'll speak to the school. Reassure her that you'll have a great summer ahead and you're there for her.

I agree. Approaching the parents could just cause them all to dig in and escalate the situation from low level bullying into the other child nurturing a real grudge and the parent's won't necessarily see it from your DD's point of view if at all. Good idea to monitor it next term. The best news is that they won't be in the same class and the summer holidays are a godsend. she can have a fresh start. A break from routine can solve a lot of issues. Encourage your DD to talk about it if she wants to but otherwise keep her occupied, busy, meeting up with nice friends - maybe a day out with some of them,. and that will do more to rebuild her self esteem than anything else. There is an organisation called Kidscape which has info for younger children on how to deal with being bullied. And also your school should have an anti bullying policy available. Your poor DD.. also most children get a bit frayed and worn out by the end of summer term - that could have played a part in the behaviour. A big hug goes a long way. I wish you both a good summer.x

As a teacher I completely agree with duckbilledsplatterpuff. 80% of the entire years tears and fall outs happened in the last fortnight of term (Scotland so thank goodness this was four weeks ago!) have a great summer and give the wee lass a hug!

Don’t do it. There’s probably a rule at the school that parents don’t approach each other about this kind of stuff and it should be done through the school. If they’re anything like their daughter you can bet that this would get thrown in your face.

Really hope summer will be brilliant for your dd and a new class in the autumn will go well.

id also not want her to be bitchy in the summer hols.it might makes this time off miserable.where as if you leave it fingers crossed the girl will just go off and all will be well.keep an eye on it but perhaps see this as a fresh start.
let your dd know its not that your not taking action.you are completely taking her feeling on baord and back her 100% but want to give her as much a chance as possible for it to just float away with the new girl.to let her have a great summer and nw start next terms.but that she can of course come to you if anything esle happens and youll chat again then and sort something.

What I’ve learnt is 1) never approach parents about an issue, which happened at school as it doesn’t end well, 2) do approach the school even if your dc doesn’t want you to. You are the parent and adult. They are afraid and the fear that parents may make it worse is totally normal. 3) issues aren’t always resolved after speaking to a teacher once and persistence may be required. Lastly 4) my child may very well be part of the problem.

I hope it all blows over.

I'm going to buck the trend on this one! My DS got bullied by a 'friend' who became envious of DS's relationship with another boy and started whispering 'gay' rumours.....pathetic.
It went on for a few weeks before i called up the mum and told her what was happening. She had a point of view, said she felt that her DS had been literally 'dropped' overnight by my DS in favour of the friend. The phone call didn't end brilliantly, both sides v sore. BUT actually the bullying did stop. Immediately. The kids gave each other extra wide berth. I couched it by saying that I preferred to speak to her first rather than make a formalised complaint to school....like I was tryin to be helpful, not sure she bought that line, but hey.

.....I have to add an important point to my story. I was friends with the mum in question. HAD I gone straight to school, she would have been 100% pissed off that I didn't contact her first off. It was a no win situation. As it was, the mum friendship went down the pan after the phone call, the bullying did stop. About 4 years on we are talking again!

Don’t mention it over the holidays. Leave it to see what happens in September now.

If the school speaks to the alleged perpetrator and says ‘This has been spotted by a member of staff’ rather than DC has snitched this tends to have a better effect with the alleged victim. As they don’t feel there’ll be repercussions.