To have felt this way

[losingmymindwhatsleftofit]

The last few weeks I've been OBSESSING in my mind about this bloody man!

I don't know where this came from. Just hit me out of nowhere. He must be 8-10 years younger than me and I think has a partner

I have a partner

I'm not going to cheat. No intention of it or acting on it but I just need to get this off my chest to you fellow mumsnetters...

So the WEIRDEST thing happened, never happened to me before but this guy stood a meter from me yesterday and I thought I was going to die!! I was heating up (in the heatwave didn't help) hyperventilating and then I honestly I was huffing and puffing like a mad woman while I was trying not to fall down and die!

Something is wrong with me! Put me straight mumsnet

No stranger has ever had this effect on me before... It was WEIRD!

I'm losing it

Limerence. It's weird and uncontrollable

This has happened to me. I actually thought I was going to spontaneously combust and be reduced to a pile of ash and a foot on the floor. We hugged and my heart was galloping against his chest like crazy. I was throbbing heat and all senses had supernaturally heightened. Totally bizarre.

I’m really not the sort of person to have any kind of dramatic physical reaction to anything, much less a person. But it happened! Only the once though. The previous times I saw him my body didn’t flip out like that.

Although I was in a relationship at the time he wasn’t, and apparently he wanted to pursue me but my situation made it a non-starter for me. So I avoided him and never saw him again. But he was never far from my mind for years after that. Which, again, was not and is not at all in my nature. Very, very odd.

I read about limerance as PP mentioned. Not sure if that was what it was for me given I actively avoided being pursued (despite wanting to!), but I’m very curious to hear more about other people’s thoughts and experiences as it was very intense, as you know, OP!

@doskant OMG yes sounds very similar and was so intense!

I've been attracted to people before and would say I've experienced limerence before too but this was different.

I've seen this guy for a few weeks and there's been something there I feel between us but we have never been that close.

He was about 2 meters from me and I felt overwhelmed with heat and panic and so I turned away and then when I looked back he was even closer about a meter away and I thought I was going to collapse!

Now looking back, we were surrounded by a lot of other people and I wonder if they picked up on my ridiculous reaction,,, ffs I hope I kept it hidden but I don't know

He looked at me and I just thought “I’m fucked”, it was intense and crazy like the world suddenly shrank to him and I, nothing else existed, he felt the same way.......
I married him last week, we actually split up for a while because it was hard to cope with that level of intense, it took a long time for us to learn how to temper it so we could actually think straight when we were in the same room! The intensity and sensations are still there we are just used to it now and can handle it. The physical heat still happens, it’s strange like as soon as the other walks in the house our temperatures rise, we physically react when the other walks in to the room.

It’s so strange! Are you under any stress in general, @OP? I was when it happened to me. And it had been affecting my body in other weird ways, so I tried to put it down to that. But I think it was something much more. Otherwise, why would I have struggled to get the man out of my head for so long afterwards? I often wonder what would have happened if I had been single at the time. And wonder if he was having a similar chemical response to me or if his was just ordinary attraction.

Either way, I’d try to see it as an interesting human response to be observed. Unless you’re worried about it?

I could also say, the time it happened to me I was in a club minding my own business and actually very focused on something else entirely when I could feel him standing behind him. Barely knew him, had only vaguely met a few times before, no idea he would be at this particular place so pretty random, yet somehow I knew he was standing behind me. Turned around, there he was, magnetically and wordlessly fell into a hug (with this relative stranger) and was henceforth blasted to smithereens.

When I got home I spent the rest of the night vomiting. Once again, not like me. Hadn’t been drunk or sick, but I think the intensity of it all overtook me.

@doskant I'm not really under stress right now... this is going to make it all sound even weirder but because of how he makes me feel I've never really even looked at him... I look in his direction and so I can see him but I he's always looking in my direction too and I feel like he knows I'm 'trying' to look at him... if you picked us both up and dropped us somewhere we don't usually see each other I wouldn't know him... I wouldn't be able to pick his face out of a crowd  so it literally is just him and how he makes me feel! Argh weird or what?!

I'm not worried except I only see him on school run so 6 weeks hopefully will kill it... but what if it doesn't and what if he doesn't come back... yours lasted so long... even though it must have been hard, did you enjoy it?

@2toe that sounds amazing tbh ;)

@doskant that is really strange!!

I've read a post on here before about a mumsnetter who has a really strange reaction to someone in a negative way.

This is similar but opposite ;)

@losingmymindwhatsleftofit it is amazing but terribly inconvenient sometimes, I was on the phone earlier trying to sort something out, he walked in and smiled at me and I completely lost my train of thought and had no idea what the phone call was about for a minute
The hardest thing (which will make me sound crazy) was the sudden realisation that I wasn’t in control of my future anymore that everything was going to be entwined with this man and it was all inevitable. Even when we separated, I saw him everywhere, random places I wouldn’t normally be or places he wouldn’t be, there was one day I saw him twelve times and just thought the universe was absolutely ripping the piss!

Wow, @2toe. That sounds amazing. Makes me wish I had taken a chance on my man! I wonder how many relationships like this exist.

OP, maybe it’s a pheromone thing? Just a total pheromone match. This would explain why you don’t need to even have seen his face. But that proximity triggers it.