Aibu to have expected more...

[Miztry]

I have recently left my job, I had made one chum imparticular during that time; who had been a shoulder and a huge support.
I left a thank you card and a gift as a token of thanks and got such a blasé response.

I was hoping for a meaningful goodbye or a card but nothing. Am I being self entitled?..

Perhaps so.

Yes yabu (and yes exhausting, what you described as exhausting is actually stalking)

Good lord...just read your own timeline OP. It's really quite overwhelming. You can't seem to see this (despite people pointing it out) but it really is.

Take a step back...distance yourself from what has occurred...and then see it how others (and your colleague) will have seen it. You overstepped here...intensely.

I thought exhausting would be to keep playing on things over and over, like if this was a fortnight on and I was still asking for an apology etc.
This isn't unrelenting, it was just disappointment. I haven't been in touch since and won't be.i imagine it is more exhausting for me to question my self worth etc.

Is your colleague a man, OP? Have you given the impression you’re looking for “something more”?

I imagine u are quick to find fault in anything ...

I think the person is probably ignoring your communication because you’re creeping them out. If I was them, I’d be worried that you would become a stalker tbh.

I would suggest leaving them alone and trying to be a bit less intense

Two texts does not constitute stalking at all and the content is unlikely to be creeping them out as they were short and sweet.
I do not find fault in everything, I'm not sure how you can assume that.

No it is not a man.

I had messaged to say that I felt disappointed and sad that there had been no real goodbye. Not why weren't you jumping up and down when I gave you a present. So what sort of reaction did you expect to this message? I agree, it all sounds exhausting because you seem to keep needing a positive reaction to your messages. If I had received them, I’d have had a bit of an eye roll and been thankful I didn’t have to see you again, in case you didn’t like my reaction or lack of. That’s why it’s exhausting. Just let it drop.

Exactly what I was thinking Riddle

OP has been very vague about the sex of their "chum" and this complete over reaction to a non event smacks of unrequited crush.

I understand your disappointment, but I think you have been a bit intense in telling them that the goodbye wasn't what you expected and then apologising for that.

It can be very hard when a group of people experience an event at different levels of emotional intensity. None of you are wrong for how you felt about the event of you leaving, but it can create awkwardness when it has much more of an impact on one person than it does on another.

I would leave it for now - it will likely blow over and then you can keep in touch as normal when some time has passed.

You’ve asked on the forum, and the general consensus is YABU and try to be less intense with any new friendships you develop. Why keep defending yourself if you don’t want an answer?

Yanbu to expect at least a leaving card from your place of work after a few years! That’s really shitty.

Yabu to not be happy with a thank you. And yabu in wanting a bigger thank you.

So basically it appears you think you were entirely reasonable and want people to validate your feelings. Wrong forum.

I'm sorry that it wasn't the goodbye you were hoping for, hopefully things will be better in your next work place

I suggest reading your posts again... u are major over thinker.. if you want a different word to describe yourself fine... over sensitive, over whelming, highly strung, self centred.... all qualities I personally find "exhausting" .. yes I can be exhausted by some(few) peoples mere presence.. dont ask questions you only want certain answers to on mn

Maybe you're both upset you're leaving, and neither of you could handle it entirely well.

I have not asked for a bigger thank you.

It does not stink of unrequited crush as the person is female, not that that would matter but that is not my orientation.

I am happy to hear I am being unreasonable, however I am going to defend myself against the usual trollop of you are nigh on a stalker. No I'm not, I am not deranged.

Definitely YABU. I understand why you were a bit disappointed at the response to your gift and card, but to actually take it up with the colleague and then confuse matters even more with your apology, is very strange.

Leaving a job is an emotional upheaval. Perhaps you let the emotion affect the way you responded?
Its done now an cant be indone.
Dont worry about it anymore.
Look forwards not back

Maybe they were having a bad day/week and didn't have the energy to give your gesture more of a response.

Either your friend really values your friendship and is taking time to consider their response, or they viewed the friendship differently to you, felt awkward and now feel even more so. Only time will tell.

I know people can pile on OP but it does sound a tad odd. Sometimes you realise that you’re perceiving a friendship to be more than it was.l and she wasn’t expecting it. You say you met up sporadically after work so it doesn’t sound like an actual outside of work friendship imo, and if it was me I would have found it a bit odd, felt embarrassed at the initial present giving, not known how to respond to first text then honestly thought you’d lost it come the 2nd and just backed away. Try not to give it too much headspace, and brush it off as one of those crap situations you find yourself in from time to time.

You sound a bit deranged tbh 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP as the saying goes- people come in your life for a reason, season or lifetime.
Obviously your colleague was seasonal and not as emotionally invested as you were. Maybe she didn’t feel for you as strongly as you did for her, maybe she was unable to express, maybe she is finding ghosting you a way of dealing with your absence...who knows?
Just put it down to experience and move on. And as others have suggested, accept and not expect in future friendships. 🤗