Hi all
I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant. I’m being really cautious as I had an early loss back in April which was tough. So not telling anyone about this pregnancy until we at least get an early scan in week 8/9 to confirm heartbeat etc. My sisters only know as I’m really close to them and they are my support. I’ve had some cramping which is making me very wary but fingers crossed all good.
Anyway we are away for a few days with my PIL’s for a family wedding. I obviously haven’t been drinking but am running around after DS so not that surprising and my attitude was the PIL can suspect all they want but we won’t be sharing anything until we know all ok.
For background, on DS we told them when I was 9 weeks because we weren’t going to see them for 3-4 weeks with holidays etc and we would be telling other family members. They proceeded to call my DH brother and tell him (without clearing it with us first) then told all DH aunts / uncles despite us saying DONT TELL ANYONE. MIL actually told one of DH cousins right in front of me before I could get a chance to, and when I pulled her up on it after, she tried to say the cousin already knew etc etc but did apologise. I was so upset with it all I had to get DH to have a word with her as it was getting out of hand (an uncle living abroad was phoned from the dinner table with us and told, again before we could say NO!) and I was so upset that random uncles and aunts on his side knew before I could even tell the rest of my family and my own friends. It was their first DGS but I still think out of order.
So this time I was like no f*cking way are they being told before 12 weeks (even if I wasn’t worried about MC). Cue last night and MIL had a few drinks (gets quite cocky when she drinks). We were back home and I’d just put DS to bed and came back to living room. MIL appears over and almost sits on me and asks ‘can I ask you a very personal question? Are you expecting #2’? I was caught totally off guard and threw a look at DH who put his hands up and said I didn’t say anything, I just mumbled ‘Maybe but not fully confirmed’. She jumped up delighted and said ‘I won’t tell ANYONE’ and ‘I hope this time won’t be as stressful’ (which is rubbish as first time round was not stressful at all). She doesn’t know about MC. I said ‘please don’t tell anyone as we can’t until we know everything is ok’. She was just so smug looking and then didn’t mention it again as my DH changed the subject and I left and went to bed.
It’s so pointless as now she knows, but we can’t and won’t be talking about it (I certainly won’t be talking about it to her) but I’m just so pissed off with her. She cornered me and forced me to confirm something I clearly didn’t want to tell her yet or else I would have been forced to tell a lie. I could barely sleep last night as I was so annoyed and also was getting cramps which has me worrying again now. This morning I’m not actively speaking to her as I’m so annoyed she put me in that position just to satisfy her own smug curiosity. She’s really close with her sisters and tells them everything so I’ve asked DH to reiterate to her that she needs to keep her trap shut.
DH brother and SIL recently had a baby and told PIL when they were 4/5 weeks (myself and DH joked that they must have literally did the test in PIL house) so maybe that’s why she feels she has a right to know early.
Am I over reacting? I feel she’s taken the good out of how we would have her and FIL and now when we do it’ll just be a ‘yep confirmed’ convo and I won’t be engaging with her any further on it. I’m so sleep deprived with DS not sleeping at the moment and also weepy over any little thing (presume hormones) so not sure if I’m irrationally angry.