To be concerned about my teenage sons weight?

[Alisonshaw]

I have recently noticed my DS putting on weight. He is 15 years old and is very active. He plays football a couple of times a week and also plays cricket. These activities only really happen during term time so over the holidays he has refused to do anything.
We all try to eat as healthily as possible: home cooked meals one snack a day and making sure we all get our 5 a day.
To me when he has clothes on he looks normal, like most boys his age, but when he takes his shirt off he looks chubby with a belly, a small but noticeable double chin and he even has small man boobs. He has always been broad but just worried that this could turn into him becoming overweight

Most leisure centres will offer great rates to 'children'

Find a class he might like to do or treat him to a few personal trainer sessions.
Maybe sign up for a 10k run and train together.
Ssaying that I do think almost all kids, male and female, go through a weird chubby faze when the hormones really hit.

Encourage healthy behaviour by all means but if he isn't bothered don't make a deal of it. You don't want to give him hang ups about his body.

That's great advice, thank you! We've looked at a gym and PT sessions in the past but he doesn't seem too bothered about it and don't want to spend the money if he isn't going to engage. I will keep trying to make sure all our diets are of a high standard and hope he doesn't gain any more weight!

Perhaps look into weights? Take him to weights gym where he can get lots of advice and encouragement from the staff (usually fitness enthusiasts themselves). He might find changing shape of body more motivating than just joing a normal gym.

YANBU.

Is he short and maybe due a growth spurt? If not, I’d try and encourage some more sports over the summer and less snacking. I know we’re guilty of sharing bags of crisps and stuff far too often over the hols.

I understand the visible fat is a bit concerning but what does he actually weigh in relation to his height?

Our local leisure centres do free swimming for under 16s in the holidays. You could encourage him to go with friends - in this weather he'll probably think it's a great idea.

I have encouraged him to get out and do stuff with his friends, including swimming but has been very reluctant. He is about 180cm but not exactly sure what he weighs but he tells me it's about 13 stone. This to me seems like a lot but he doesn't seem overweight to me like I've said, with his clothes on he looks normal but with his top off his belly and man boobs are concerning but not to an extreme level

My son is very active and has stopped growing upwards. He is in the gym four plus days a week (weights, spin etc), cycles everywhere, plays two hours touch rugby and walks a lot. He’s always moving doesn’t play much Xbox or the like. He has to be really careful about what he eats though as he is prone to put in weight, like his dad and older brothers. His mates do minimal exercise and eat like horses and are skinny but he knows he can’t do that.

Maybe you son could do a bit of weight training? Plus be careful of hidden calories like dressing, butter, peanut butter and the like.

That is heavy for his height, are you sure his diet is as healthy as you think? During term time is he maybe having more food than you realise?

Yes, that’s definitely in the overweight range. Can you discuss his BMI calculation with him to show that, objectively, there is an issue?

At that age they can be eating lots of crap outwith the home.

It is a very really possibility that he eats outside of the home. I worry that if I bring up his weight will him it could result in an eating disorder which would be very concerning especially if there isn't a problem in the first place.

I think it's ok to mention his weight if you do it kindly and openly and don't bang on about it. Is he a particularly sensitive type?

I wouldn't worry too much. Adolescents grow at one helluva rate and it takes a huge amount of calories to grow all of those bones, nerves, muscles, veins, ligaments etc. In two or three years he'll naturally have a more manly form and be a hunk!

If he's active and eating generally "good" food (which is tricky because you probably don't really know what he's eating) he's probably gearing up for a growth spurt.

If you set good foundations for him re healthy eating as a child, hopefully they'll come back to him once he gets through this phase of eating junk with his mates.

So, about 6 foot then? Probably not that much more height to go.

You need to address his eating habits as a priority. No point forcing him to do exercise when he clearly doesn’t want to if he’s eating junk when you’re not looking.

You might have a very healthy diet at home but you have no idea what he’s eating when he’s out of the house, which I imagine is quite a lot of the time given that he’s 16.

What does he eat whilst at school? Does he buy snacks and fizzy drinks on his way to and from school? I see lots of kids doing that where I live.

Haha user and how exactly would you suggest OP does that?

I note that you "see" kids doing that, come back when you've addressed your own teens' eating habits

It’s so hard with teens isn’t it? You can feed them as healthily as possible at home, but once they’re out of the house with pocket money, you can’t really know what they’re eating.

I have 2 DD’s nearly 15 & 12, and they've both recently put weight on, and it’s because they’re stopping at the shop on the way home from school and buying crisps n choc.

I’m trying to be careful with tackling it (I grew up with a mother who thought anyone over a size 10 was fat, and which has had a massive impact on my attitude towards eating) I’ve gone down the route of being healthy, and looking after our teeth etc.

With regards to "looking normal" with clothes on - my 14 yr old is a similar height but still quite lean. Most of the shirts and jumpers he wears are quite loose, and I've noticed that he looks "more normal" when he's wearing larger looser clothes that hide his bean-pole-ness.

Possibly the useful conversation to have with your son might revolve around healthy eating / needing more food when you are more active / in the future if you reduce how much sport you are doing you will have to be careful to reduce what you eat. Or, try to find out why he doesn't want to do much sport in the holidays - is he in fact having difficulties related to appearance or fitness or bullying or something else that are putting hiim off? Does he like doing sport with his friends and they live elsewhere or are away? Or, are his friends shunning him over the holidays? Is he interested in "improving his physique" (for want of a better phrase)?

I'd be inclined to agree with your concerns. Hopefully he's still growing in which case the hormonal / growth spurt implications are positive. Teenage boys need to grow muscle (well, girls do too, but it's often easier to engage boys with this!), so I'd be keen to figure out what kind of physical activity will keep him going over the holidays. Even if it is walking or cycling. Hope you can figure something useful.

It is tricky. He gets pocket money which he could be using to buy unhealthy snacks. At school he eats reasonably healthily. I doubt he will grow much more as both me and his dad aren't very tall so I doubt that would redistribute his fat

I will have a conversation with him regarding healthy eating and improving his fitness. I think when he wears a shirt it does cover up his belly and makes his man boobs less noticeable which makes him look less fat and not overweight.

At 15 he’s likely to still have some growing to do, and he body will change from a boy to a man. Try to encourage exercise, full the house with healthier snacks rather than unhealthy snacks. Giving him a complex about his body can be hugely damaging - I’m supporting my d through eating disorder recovery....

I’m a secondary teacher, and I often see boys come in at the start of Y10 who are a bit chubby. Almost without exception they finish Y11 taller than me (and I’m 5’9”) and having slimmed right down. I think it’s important to keep an eye on things, but it’s also natural for children’s bodies to change during puberty. Continue to encourage healthy eating and activity and you may see that it naturally sorts itself out.

I think understanding how many calories are coming from drinks is really important.