Teens and summer nights

[bellylaughs]

DD15 (will be 16 in 3weeks) is loving life at the moment, just finished GCSEs off to Reading etc.

However, her social life since the exams has included lots of social events in the weekday evenings which means DH or I have to pick her up around 11-12pm around 2-3 times a week and stay up later than we would normally do with work the next day etc.

DH thinks IABU accepting this as normal teenage summer life and that DD should come home earlier - around 10 (and then could get the train) so that we could go to bed normal time for work the next day.

Who is BU? I feel it’s only a few weeks and during term time she only goes out late at weekends so not really a problem. But DH is tired and resentment is setting in. Even if I do the pick up he can’t get to sleep as if only wake him when I come in so we’re both up either way.

We did the pick ups maybe once a week but my dd needs didn't trump ours in the sleep department. We tried to organise it so it wasn't all parents going out, there was a pool and the designated driver also had the kids staying at theirs, helped to spread it out a bit.

It's true though that in a couple of years they'll be gone, off to uni and the entire relationship changes.

Why can't she get a taxi or uber?

My DS is a little younger, so we haven't had quite so many of these yet. But, it wouldn't bother me. We live somewhere without late buses/trains so I see it as a position we have created and therefore need to help manage so that he can have a social life. Taxis aren't always going to be financially viable at £25 a pop from the closest station that does run later trains. DH can go to bed, I will stay up and be the driver. But he sleeps easily, and gets up at 5.30 to commute, whereas I am a night owl and perimenopausal insomniac with a home based role so can stay in bed a bit later in holidays.

If you are happy with doing the driving, your DH needs to find a way to manage his sleep. Go to bed earlier, or in another room, get ear plugs, whatever.

As a thought, is he blaming your DD, when actually no one is sleeping well at the moment, because it is too hot?

At 16 there’s no way that I would have expected my parents to be picking me up so late on work days, I’d have felt so cheeky! Mind you my parents wouldn’t have let me out that late on a regular basis anyway. I’d have paid for taxi’s out of my summer job or pocket money. No money, no go! When I was younger parents would take it in turns to do “taxi duty” too.

Thanks for all the comments. For info for posters commenting on what she’s doing til that time and allowing her to Reading... she’s young in her year and will be 16 just in time for Reading, her older siblings have been and round here it’s very much a right of passage to go off in a huge group from school on results day.
With regards to where she goes, it’s always to friends’ houses, I know where she is and am in contact with other parents etc. It’s all very innocent and she funds it herself from her babysitting money.
I’m not that keen on the idea of cabs/Ubers as she’d be on her own in the cab so I’d rather collect her as I wouldn’t sleep anyway! I guess it’s just a case of combining sleepovers with pick-ups and remembering it’s only a few more weeks, I’m actually quite envious of the Summer she’s having thanks everyone for the opinions.

You sound lovely OP, just make sure she's grateful. I went to Reading at sixteen and had an absolute blast! I'd do the pick ups but that's because I'm naturally quite nocturnal, I never went to bed before midnight before DS, now it's need say 10:30, and I'm only up now because the bloody cat just brought another cat in through the bathroom window, trying to have some kind of cat party! I'm hoping to go back to my nocturnal preferences once DS hits his teens. Only 13 or so years to go....

She is 15 still a child , midnight is too late unless a special occasion.