To assume I'm rubbish at my job

[D2R2]

I work part time at a small childcare setting where there are full time staff and one another part timer, I'll call her Annie. I don't normally work with Annie as she tends to be there when I'm not but sometimes if a full timer is off and one of us is covering, we work together and we get on very well, she's very outgoing and bubbly whereas I'm quite quiet but she's kind hearted and a good laugh. I like her a lot but it does sometimes feel like I'm just an extra in "the Annie show" when she's in - she is quite over the top but the kids love her.

I am just so conflicted because I feel that Annie is treated better by the manager than I am and it's starting to get me down. She gets more key children, more basic hours and gets all the extra hours going, mine keep getting cut down, despite it being my only job - Annie has a second job at another setting. I keep asking for extra hours too. The job comes with lots of paperwork but she is excused from it all - the manager observes and reports on her key children for her. She doesn't have to change nappies and doesn't have to be there on time. I do feel quite baffled sometimes.

I can only conclude that I can't be as good at my job as I thought I was. I try hard but there's no recognition. I know I should be more confident and outgoing but I do love the children and genuinely do my best to help them learn and be happy and independent. I find it so hard to bring this up with my manager, she loved Annie. I'm not naturally one to rock the boat and I'm so afraid she'll confirm my fears about me not being very good or she'll think I'm being nasty about Annie. Maybe childcare just isn't for me but I don't know what else I can do that fits into school hours. Is the only explanation for this that I'm just not as good as her?

Sounds like she’s getting preferential treatment because she’s chummy with the manager which has absolutely nothing to do with your job performance. It sounds like you care a lot about the children so I really doubt you’re doing a shit job. Work on your confidence, if you want to stay in childcare you could look for another job that has more hours and where the manager treats the staff fairly.

So presuming you haven’t had any negative feedback that you neglect to mention then yes YABVU to assume that you’re rubbish at your job.

Thank you 😊

It's just annoying you can get away with anything if you have the gift of the gab.

I'm a bit of an annie if I'm honest. (I work with teenagers not little ones). I'm also pretty loved by my manager.

I try hard to include other staff, and I couldn't do my job as well as I do if there wasnt other staff picking up the other jobs that I can't do as the majority of the yp want me to be engaged with them. I have a loud, bubbly, funny personality and my best skill/resource for engaging yp is my personality.

I do try to pick activities for other staff to do with yp, but I'm the one they would prefer to be with. I find it quite a struggle tbh as I get on with the other staff really well but feel I leave them with the shit jobs to much. My manager doesn't see the problem (I've brought it up in supervisions) and wants me to be engaging yp all the time, but then the clearing up, the cooking, the jobs that make the sessions run so well are left up to others. Makes me feel awkward and rubbish tbh!

I do try to pick activities for other staff to do with yp, but I'm the one they would prefer to be with

Is that your remit?

And why can't the yp help you with the clearing up?

That's very honest of you Fizzypoo. I find myself holding back when Annie is there because her personality is so dominant so she gets all the fun. Maybe your colleagues feel a similar way and would love to engage with the yp as you get to do. I think a good manager should make sure all staff are happy and being allowed the same opportunities.

What are key children?

I feel for you, could you have a chat to your manager?

Are all your job descriptions the same. You should all be doing the same share of crappy jobs if so. Poor management I think

Although you interact with all the children, key children are your specific responsibility and focus.

@D2R2 I agree.

I do think some staff feel out of place because my personality is so dominant. It's very often the fizzypoo show. But my manager wants it that way, it puts me in an awkward position tbh.

However my job role is different to theirs, I'm the supervisor for the group and they are support staff. But I would like them to more included. However, if I do start doing behind the job jobs, yp follow me and ask to talk to me one to one. It's a bit of a minefield and I would love some ideas on how to make the support staff feel more included, and still engage yp for the majority of the sessions.

I doubt you're rubbish at your job. Is it possible that Annie struggles with some things, e.g. reading and writing, which is why management pick that up for her and they give her more children to be responsible for to balance that out rather than lose her?

Also, some children do respond to the OTT persona, but others need that quiet, gentle person who notices them when they don't join in and gives them some 1:1 time whilst Annie entertains the masses being the new Pied Piper.

That sounds like a really tough situation. Has Annie been there longer than you? I used to work in a nursery which had a part time 'Annie'. She was amazing to work with, the life and soul of the party who got on well with almost all the children. When she was in she would give each of us extra time for our paper work and eventually fell into the habit of her doing lots of the play and care and very little paper work. But when we had a wave of new staff they found her very overwhelming and got upset about her doing less paperwork. She would have happily helped with their paper work if asked or releaved them to for some quiet time to do it. They didn't realise we asked for help and she would move from room to room in her children's down time to let us catch up with things. But that particular group didn't think to ask. She was very good friends with manager from well before the nursery opened so from the outside looked like she was given lots of prefirential treatment. At one point she also did a year as deputy manager so was be asked to do extra cover if the manger was away and would be given more of the seemingly desireable responsibilities. Only people who were there at the time knew that she pervisouly has that responsibility so again seemed like she was highly favoured.
Most of the time it wasn't that those eclipsed by the Annie show were bad at their jobs (although we did have a couple of awful people) they just had different skills. Our Annie once had a terrible day covering my room where she hyped the children up to the point of no return and there was lots of upsets and breakages which needed the manager to sort out. Equally there were always a few children she struggled to tone it down enough for who much prefured the company of the background adults when she was in.

How long have you been in the job? An appraisal / supervision would be good to bring this up.

The key children thing makes no sense to me. The key person should be doing the paperwork.

OP not every child needs an Annie.

Some, like mine, needed a calm, kind quieter person to play and bond with.

Do you have supervision termly review meetings? Perhaps you could be more involved in the planing side of things?

Thank you it had never occurred to me that children might sometimes prefer quieter company.

That is definitely true. Different children respond to different personalities and there needs to be a good mix of staff personalities for the different mix of children's.

I have worked with lots of Annie's and at first found it a bit intimidating, but soon learnt to work to my strengths and let them work to theirs. As someone said different kids respond to different personalities.

With regard to the favouritism, that is just part of working in childcare. Managers tend to be appointed because of a qualification rather than being good at managing staff, and in my experience cause a lot of staff turnover. Don't take it personally, if you aren't getting the hours you want start looking for another job.

In an unemotional way, I'd tell your manager what you've said here. That you are concerned you're underperforming, with hours being cut when you are asking for more.
I think sometimes quieter people need to spell out why they are valuable and what their understated qualities are (like connecting with and being role models for quieter children).

I worked somewhere like this op and can relate. It's really not nice!

The colleague I worked with always got preferential treatment despite being late every single day without fail and often leaving 5-10 mins early too. The school bent over backwards to make her life as easy as possible because they liked her as a person, I just found it bizarre. My fiancé works for the nhs and is never late because he knows that if he did it once it would be a stern telling off then if he did it a couple more times in a row it would be getting sacked. I was always punctual, built up good relationships with the parents and children and poured so much of myself into the job but was given an awful time by management.

The same thing happened with various people throughout the school and 7 left when I did. There were 2 NQTs both lovely and hardworking but one was related to someone in management. You can guess who had extra adults always flown in to support in her very well behaved class and who was left to struggle alone with a tricky class!

Can you find another childcare job? I believe that unless you did something really bad your current employer has to give a satisfactory reference. It sounds as though the problem isn't you and your abilities but that particular setting.

Good luck finding somewhere that gives you the fair treatment you deserve. If the children in your care are well looked after and making progress always hold onto that

Lots of children will prefer a quieter force. I was one of them. I was quiet, and it was nice to have a calm teacher who noticed me and also appreciated my less outgoing personality.

I would probably look for a job in another centre op. If your hours are being cut back then it sounds like you'd be better off anyway.

If it's anything like my old nursery then the manager hardly sees the staff actually working. I would try to move to another place where you'll be more appreciated. If you're in England and qualified there is a huge shortage of good staff so you'll be able to pick and choose.

Thank you.

Agree with other posters about Annie and the boss being chummy. I worked with a guy once who was late every single day, and did a crap job while he was there. He was also a real arse-kisser. So he charmed people and got preferential treatment despite being hopeless. It’s unfortunate but managers will always have biases. But you need to find an employer who appreciates you. It’s soul destroying otherwise.

Yeah they are really chummy. Manager is always tagging Annie in her in-jokes on Facebook but in public not private posts for some reason. I guess Annie is good at banter and making people laugh and that goes further than substance. I guess our new PM proves that.