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How do I help my daughter - friendships

27 replies

wiggywiggy · 23/07/2019 23:44

Looking for advice please.
My teenage daughter (only child) doesn't have many friends.
The two main ones that she has are best friends with each other but don't really want to do much in the way of activity. They are content to sit at home and watch the TV.

There are two other lovely friends that she has but they are all part of bigger friendship groups who hang out together.

My dd sometimes hangs out with these 2 girls and goes into town with them separately, but she is never invited into the big group even though she knows them all and is friendly with them.

So far my dd has been by herself in her bedroom every day, she has snapchatted and Instagramed these 2 girls asking if they are free, if they can meet up and do something
Each time she gets the answer that they are busy
But when my dd goes onto Instagram all she sees is these 2 girls with the rest of their friendship group having fun.

Today whilst my dd was doing nothing sat by herself these girls were all together with about 10 others all having fun in a large lake where they have been three times already this holiday.

These girls are a really nice bunch and my dd desperately wants to join in but she never gets invited. It's as if they want my dd company 1 to 1 but not in a group.

My dd is so lonely and spends so much time by herself or with me.
She asks me how can she get included and have some fun, but I don't know how to advise her.

Every school holiday is the sage same, Spent mostly by herself.
She gets sad and beleives there must be something wrong with her to be constantly excluded. But she's lovely and funny and quirky.

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 24/07/2019 16:42

Signing her up for something sounds like your best bet. Is there something where they put a show on in a week on something? She is obviously a bit of a performer!

pantherpants · 24/07/2019 22:14

Is she confident 1-2-1 but shy in a big group ? I think I was like this at school, so in groups I wasn't really noticed and easily forgotten. I don't think anyone hated me but they didn't think of me. I had a few good 1-2-1 friends.

Or maybe it's the other way and she acts silly/ loud/ dances to try to be noticed in a group and they find that embarrassing.

It's a tough age. Could she organise something at yours ? Like a garden picnic & watch a movie or afternoon pizza party.

Otherwise volunteering. I don't know the ages places take people but worth investigating - national trust/ local pet sanctuary / hairdressers ? That type of thing?

Or a summer course. I don't know her interests or location, but many uni's offer teenager summer courses

Example is www.arts.ac.uk/study-at-ual/short-courses/short-courses-for-teenagers

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