To want to get rid of the cat

[Hellvelyn]

After months of badgering by dd(14) we finally relented and got a cat - 8 year old rescue from the RSPCA. She is incredibly good natured and dd adores her. However, she is weeing all over our house and I am sick of vaxing every day and worrying about my house smelling. Today she also pooed on the landing and puked in the kitchen.
We have tried everything. Full (expensive) check up at the vets to rule out urinary or kidney problems. Two different litter trays, access to the garden, dishes of dried food in the places she most often pees. We now have giant puppy pads dotted around to minimise wee on carpets. Every day we are cleaning both litter trays (which she occasionally uses) as well as constantly clearing up her "accidents" RSPCA have been round but weren't able to advise anything we weren't already doing. They said they will take her back but (a) it will break dds heart and (b) I don't think she'd get rehomed again with her toilet history. I'm finding it all very stressful and starting to resent the cat which isn't fair be sure she is so sweet. Aaaagh. Every morning we go downstairs not knowing what smelly mess will greet us.

Have you tried different types of litter?
Also could you create a 'decoy' outdoor litter tray... An area of the garden with freshly dug soil, nice loose stuff, is difficult for a cat to resist.
Have you tried valerian on the back of the neck? It comes in pipettes from PAH

Is she incontinent or just misbehaving?

We got rid of our cat for the same reason. I adopted him as a four month old kitten and he had such a lovely nature so it was a huge shame. He was litter trained but insisted on peeing and spraying all over the house as well as in the trays. I took him to the vets numerous times, tried feliway plug ins, the urine remover sprays, catnip, lots of different litters and litter trays etc. Nothing worked at all.

He ruined every door mat I had so I had to stop buying them, bath mats had to be hung up immediately after use else he’d ruin those, used to piss on my post so I had to buy one of those things designed to stop dogs eating the post . He peed on my DD’s wooden dolls house which couldn’t be saved, ruined curtains, toys, my DS’s Xbox game collection, books, MacBook charger, earphones, bags, my DH’s paperwork. Had to change the entire flooring in one room.

We moved home and it got worse because he couldn’t smell his scent I suppose so he started doing it all over the new house too. We had a baby on the way and had visions of it peeing on the baby’s items (which it would have done, it peed everywhere!) so we got rid of it. Kindest thing we could have done really, it wasn’t a compatible cat for our home. My DS was upset for a while but he accepted we just couldn’t keep replacing items and cleaning cat pee up constantly.

Just wanted to add the vet said it was behavioural and there was fuck all we could do about it so it was literally either deal with that for the next decade+ or get rid.

Someone I know had the same problem. It actually got worse. The cat ended up weeing and pooing in the kids’ beds. They gave her back. Sometimes the animal you regime just isn’t the right fit for your family.

Can I suggest the crystal cat litter. B&m, home bargains etc sell it. It lasts 4 weeks before starting to smell (to you, she will smell it) and needing changing, and apart from taking out poos, just tip the whole bag in one tray and leave it a month. She needs to get her identity in the house and not letting her smell build up in the litter trays is not helping.
www.bmstores.co.uk/products/silica-crystals-cat-litter-3-8l-291117

Thank you all for your suggestions and understanding. I did wonder if I was going to get a flaming for being so heartless to even think of returning her. She had a pee by the front door this morning which she hasn't done for a while which is really disappointing. To answer a few questions - she is already taking cysteeze, we have tried a covered tray but she misses even more. Visiting cats at night could be an issue. She sleeps in the conservatory so has a constant view of the garden. We haven't tried different litters so will give that a go. At the heart of this is also dd(14) who adores the cat. She has a tendency to be a bit anxious and cat is helpful when this happens. She would be devastated to lose her.

Is the cat actually 8, or could she be older? Cats often behave like this when they develop dementia.
The other possibility, as mentioned by a PP, is bladder cancer. I had a 12 year old who died of this, and was incontinent towards the end.
It seems unlikely that she is still not “settled” after 3 months, especially if she is being affectionate to you.
Is her cat flap micro chip activated, to stop other cats coming in at night and stressing her?
OP, I think you’ve been very patient and tried your best. If you feel the cat has to be returned, I don’t think anyone would judge you.
You could consider getting a different cat later, so DD will still have a feline pal, but one that doesn’t use your carpets as a lavatory!

Try Zylkene capsules. You break the capsules apart and mix the powder in with the food. It's derived from milk so has a pleasant taste.

My cat has been overgrroming for years. Non of the vets I saw were to worried by it, and tbh I think it upset me more than the cat. I tried various things: Feliway, antihistamines and grain-free food among others, but nothing worked. Recently started her on Zylkene, not terribly hopefully, and low and behold a week and a half later I spotted tufts of fur on her tummy. All her bald patches are filling in, it truly is amazing!

It's an anti-anxiety supplement so it might help de-stress your cat.

You said the cat is settled in your dd's room, is it possible she has separation anxiety? I would let her stay a few nights in her room and see if that makes a difference. It might be she can see other cats from the conservatory which makes her worse. I never thought owning a pet would be so complicated

Feliway is pointless in my experience (had cats my whole life). Pet remedy is better but is doesn't smell nice.

When my male cat started spraying after we got a new female I tried Zylkene tablets and I do think they worked. He stopped doing it anyway! Worth a try as they aren't very expensive.

Oh and I find multiple litter trays when there is only one cat can lead to confusion for them about where to go. If it's a covered tray with a door, try it without, and if it's uncovered try it with a lid.

She doesn't sound incontinent, she sounds anxious and like she's marking her territory. Does she have to go outside? Maybe she would be happier as an indoor cat - she may also feel she has to mark less if she's the only cat around.

I would try Zyklene capsules and Feliway, and keep her indoors for a while. The advice for new/nervous cats is to limit them to one room until they're happy/confident using the tray, and then slowly expand their territory - I would imagine that's even more important with a nervous rescue like her.

We use natural wood-chip litter as it's the only one my cats will tolerate. It does need changing more often than the more artificial style ones but I do think it's better for them. Clumping/artificially smelling litters are to make our lives easier - I don't think they have much benefit to the cats themselves, tbh.

OP increase drinking and peeing could also be caused by diabetes or thyroid problems. Has your cat been checked for those?

Do you have a cat flap? Can you keep her in the kitchen or utility with cat access to the garden? See if letting her have a smaller space helps her to keep it clean? They do t like to be dirty, so maybe you have to limit her space.

Increased drinking and peeing are also signs of CKD. Worth getting her checked for that?

I would guess anxiety, but you may be changing litter too frequently as cats also have scent glands around the rear that they use to mark territory so if it doesn't smell familiar then she may not think it's her toilet because it doesn't smell like her. We have a covered tray for our cat now, it doesn't smell if we don't change the litter immediately and gives her a bit of privacy (she'll meow at us until we go away if we're too close when she wants to use it).

Alternatively, does she definitely know how to use a litter tray? It might sound obvious, but if she's always been an outdoor cat then she might not realise it's her indoor toilet. We had a rescue a bit like that, he kept going behind the couch when he wanted to toilet inside, we had to keep picking him up and carrying him to his litter tray every time he went behind the couch or started squatting until he made the connection.

I found that when they wee all over the carpet, no matter how much I cleaned it they could still smell the ammonia. For me it was game over at that point.

Also the feliway spray is way better than the plug ins as you can spray wherever she's peed

Heartless.

So it’s heartless not to want your house full of catshit and stinking of piss? Colour me callous, then.

Other problem is the smell is in your carpet and floorboards so will be attracting her to use those places

Prozac. Seriously talk to your vet about Prozac. It’s cheap (the generic version at least) and it has some very good results with stopping inappropriate urination in cats. Honestly try it, I have seen more than one cats respond really, really well to it and it makes a huge difference to everyone’s wellbeing.