To do a masters instead of working FT

[Hedgehoghair]

I have been looking into doing a masters recently. I’ve found one that accepts credits from previous qualifications I already have and will allow me to complete the masters if I submit two projects. The prospectus says the masters should thereafter take 6-9 months to complete. I would have the option to take longer if I needed to though.

I haven’t studied for a couple of years but think I can do it. The problem is as my ds gets older and is in school (now 6) my dh is putting extra pressure in me to work FT. I worked FT until ds was 4 then the last two years I’ve worked PT. my career has massively stagnated. I want to do the masters to improve my future employability opportunities. I’ve watched dh career shoot off in the right direction whilst mine has disintegrated into nothing due to taking on most of responsibility of ds at school and most of the home care as well.

Dh is helpful at home but when I mention the masters he’s said oh well who’s going to pay for that. Me? I have money. We have disposable income but dh wants it to stay as what it is instead of me taking it for the masters and go back to work so we can buy a bigger house etc.
I want to work FT as well but right now I’m looking at FT admin work instead of what I’m qualified to do as I’ve been out for two years. And a masters would massively increase my chances of better opportunities in the long term and tbh PT is working miracles for our home life and dh admits that but wants us both to earn more money to better our whole families lives.

I feel selfish at the same time though. Aibu to just take this money against my dh wishes?

Absolutely do it! Even if it took you a year or more it's securing a better career, future earnings etc. Why should he see his career fly & try to stop you.

Do it! I'm doing mine now and work are paying for it - will yours? There's an apprenticeship levy which means they don't pay all of it?

So you worked part time for the last two years and are now chasing the agreement, for you to go back full time?
I can honestly see both points of view.

I agree, you've invested a lot of yourself in the family (tzking care of house chores, taking care of your child). Now is the time for you to have something for yourself.

I'd be seriously pissed at your husband. He sounds dismissive and not very supportive.

I got a student loan and I'm working full time. Doing 1 unit per semester so I've still got a year and dissertation to go. I take a mornings leave for the class and work on it on my days off. So far so good and distinctions all the way. The only problem is group work, but use Skype or Messenger for virtual meet ups.

There's always going to be a few things to consider:

• disposable income - you want the disposable income to fund your masters but he wants the disposable income to maintain the current family financial situation and lifestyle
• Coming out of work - you're wanting to come out of work at a point where he sees you moving to full time with a view of moving to a bigger house
• his career taking off - Unfortunately that is what is likely to happen when couples decide one of them will step out of their career and stay home/work part time. The person opting to step out of their career doesn't get the same opportunities and progression.
• increased opportunities - I'm cautious on this one. You say a masters will offer you more opportunities and give you higher earning power. Unless the masters is something that directly qualifies you for do a specific job then it's unlikely to add much extra to earning potential (especially if It's a taught masters learning more about a topic). For interest I totally understand it, but if I we're your DH I would want to see that there are jobs specifically wanting the masters as an entry requirement and that there's enough of those jobs around that you're likely to get into that area after.

You're not wrong for wanting to do higher study. He's not wrong for having reservations concerning the impact on the whole household.

Without knowing your area of interest, the specific course and the local job market, none of us can realistically say either way who is right.

If I were your DP (rogue apostrophes everywhere)

I did mine part time and continued to work full time (work let me go to uni one day a week and counted it as cpd). Go for it, you'll not look back, no one can take a qualification away from you - good luck!

DO IT.

Get a loan and work part time, I hope he won’t expect to benefit from the fruits of your hard work when you earn more, he is being short sighted,

Yesicancancan
We don't know the OP will be earning more so none of us can say that she'll be earning more or to do it because he's being selfish. Whether the masters has any impact on earning potential depends on the course and the local jobs market. A couple of years working full time with appropriate professional qualifications achieved on the job in many areas would have a bigger impact on earning potential than a taught masters.

I'm saying this when DP supported me to career change so I'm not against higher study supported by a partner.

Ok I take the points on board.
Dh asked me to go PT because I kept saying I couldn’t take the stress of running the whole house, sorting ds life out which had increased ridiculously after he started a school nursery and holding down a 13 hour a day job.

After I went PT dh hired a cleaner because he felt that was better than him getting involved with it, we got rid of the nanny, I’ve offered to get rid of the cleaner and clean myself again so I can do the masters. Cleaning bills come to 25% of the masters costs. I can put my own disposable income into it as well and cut back on things like hair cuts etc.

I work in finance, I was once a high rate tax payer, now I’m stuck in the worst role because it’s all I could find within the golden school hours I was in the kind of role where the more qualifications you have the more someone on the opposite side of an interview desk nods their head approvingly.

@LolaSmiles I already hold necessary professional qualifications.

If you already have your qualifications then personally I'd pause the masters for now then. I can't see how a masters is going to give you anything more in terms of salary that would be worth 9 months on 1 income (though to do for personal interest I understand the drive).

Could you continue to work part time in your current job and sign up for agency work in you career line of work to get your hand back in again? Then maybe sign up to complete a masters part time or by distance learning for interest?

So, he didn't pull his weight, left you to drown until you quit your job and took an admin role, and then decided to compensate for his lack of effort by hiring assistance to ease the load?

And now he's getting in the way of your efforts to restart and rebuild your career?

Those seem compelling reasons to make sure you look long term not short term and take the steps you need to get your career going.

You said you have the funds to finance doing this qual? So do it. It's a year tops and then you can move forward.

I assume you've reviewed whether this is the best qual to give you the edge you're looking for? I imagine it would also demonstrate commitment and that you've gone to significant lengths to make sure your skills are up to date and rust-free, which can't be bad things after a gap.

Do you think you'll be able to manage the course if your husband chooses to be unsupportive for the duration? It's fairly short term and it sounds like you're used to juggling everything already, but do you have a plan to handle everything? You're not banking on him suddenly stepping up?

I wasn't sure from your posts whether you mean keep working part time and do the course alongside, or do the course full time ? Is it UoL?

Would the Masters actually increase your career prospects? In my experience, this is far from a given.

He hired a cleaner so he doesn’t have to do any? I mean, fine if you both agree but from your phrasing it doesn’t sound like that.

Overall it sounds like he doesn’t want you to have a career.

If you can take longer than 9 months to finish the masters, why not work FT and do the master's? If you work FT, though, your DH will need to do his fair share of the housework and childcare.

Keep the cleaner whatever you decide.

I don’t see myself working ft and studying. I’ve done all that and found it difficult and also had a nanny back then. PT is fine and currently wfh with hardly any in office work so am reluctant to just quit this as was hard to get these hours.
I have no family or childcare at the minute and finding childcare around school hours is a nightmare. I know my dh will not step up.
But I still feel selfish just chugging along and doing the masters.

I don't think you're being selfish if he is unwilling to step up. And I say that as someone who has always worked full time and did my master's at the same time.

If he won't step up, why should you?

@AlexaShutUp do you have dc? How did it work you finding time to work and do a masters? Reading through these responses is making me think maybe I should consider it, I did hate studying and working though. But mainly because going to classes etc meant taking time out of my job and then making up the time when I was back, this was in full study support but the job still had to be done.
I didn’t think about finding somewhere to support it and calling it cpd as well. That is a good plan.

Yes, I do have dc but only one. DD was around 7/8 when I started, and it took three years from start to finish (MBA). I work FT in a senior management role, so if I'm honest, it was incredibly challenging to juggle everything, but not impossible. One of the other women on my course had two very young children and a demanding FT role. Most of the others were men and seemed to leave everything else to their wives.

Most of my lectures were on Tuesday evenings after work and Saturdays. The evening ones were shit as it was hard to study from 6-10pm after a busy day in the office. Saturdays were better but it did make me feel cheated out of my weekends! The worst bits were the assignments as I mostly did them when dd was in bed. I felt like I hardly slept for three years!

Things that helped:

• I didn't get study leave as such but work allowed me to take time off to attend the exams, which were generally on weekdays. That probably amounted to around 12 -15 half days off across the three years which I didn't have to take as annual leave.
• A fairly generous leave allowance enabled me to take the odd day off here and there in order to get stuff done.
• Not having a significant commute for work or study enabled me to make better use of the time I had.
• DH was very supportive and was willing to chip in with cleaning, childcare etc. I still bore the brunt of this though as he has to travel quite a lot for his job.
• Relaxing a bit about the state of the house, recognising that things might be a bit messier than usual and prioritising the most important jobs.

Things that were challenging:

• Constantly feeling under pressure and worrying about how to get everything done. It was a huge relief when I finished.
• Being determined not to let the study limit my time with dd, which generally meant cutting down on time to relax and sleep.
• DH being away a lot and having to manage everything on my own for extended periods
• Having to function at work when I was desperately tired and short on sleep.

Things that would have helped:

• DH being around all of the time would have made life much easier. Also, if he had been able to drive as I always had to take dd everywhere.
• Having a cleaner would have been really, really helpful!
• Being more disciplined about the assignments and less perfectionist would have been good.
• Having a less stressful role during the day would have eased the burden significantly.

Looking back, I'm really very glad that I did it and I'm proud of what I achieved but it was bloody hard work and I wouldn't want to live through that period again! I don't think I could have managed it if DH and DD had not been so supportive and if DH hadn't been willing to share the domestic burden when he was at home.

@AlexaShutUp thanks so much for your detailed reply. It’s got my mind thinking maybe I could do that. I doubt anyone would offer me a study package for a masters in a new job. I have failed miserably to get childcare around school hours and really ended up getting rid of nanny as she was full time and when ds was at school became super expensive to pay her to do not much in the daytime. But I’m not in London so finding a nanny isn’t so easy and with no other childcare I feel completely trapped between a rock and a hard place.

My dh travels away a lot and isn’t home before 8pm most evenings and whenI worked FT I didn’t really get home before 7pm but I was allowed to leave for evening classes.
Thanks again I will look into that option. My overall aim is in fact to get a better paid job than dh and he can bloody well work PT