Wedding question...

[splishandsplash]

May not be an 'aibu'

Some of you may remember my previous post whereby I was asking to cancel my wedding and then buy a property before the baby came...

Well we made the tough decision to cancel our big wedding.

We are now looking at having a registry office wedding, and then paying for everyone to have dinner. But would Ibu to ask our guests to pay for all of their drinks?

I wouldn’t mind. YANBU.

I think as long as you are honest and upfront with what people will and will not have to pay for thats fine.

Congratulations and I hope you enjoy your day.

It isn't really an AIBU and there is a weddings topic.

I think you shouid at least stand your guests the drink for the toasts, and ideally a first drink too. But if that's really beyond you, and you have cut numbers back to your nearest and dearest, then they are likely to know your circumstances and not mind at all.

(Recommend that you put the word round that it's cash bar, so people come with means to pay)

I agree, just be upfront. Can you afford to have some wine and fruit juice on the tables then if anyone wants other drinks they can pay for those themselves? (this is what I did at my wedding).

Just tell people before the wedding and they will be fine. Enjoy the day.

I'd buy at least a drink and do a buffet rather than no drink at all.

But provided people know in advance it will all be fine.

Thank you all for your responses!

@AuntieStella I looked for the weddings topic and couldn't find it 🤦‍♀️ sorry x

It isn't really an AIBU and there is a weddings topic.

She’s asking AIBU not to pay for guests’ drinks.

If I was coming I’m your wedding, I wouldn’t mind at all.

@splishandsplash YANBU at all  I've never actually been to a wedding where it was a free bar! So wouldn't expect any other. A drink for a toast would be nice if you could stretch to it but I'm sure people wouldn't mind.

@AuntieStella 'AIBU to ask our guests to pay for all of their drinks?' That's an AIBU surely 🙄 right there in the question.

It's nice to have a glass with dinner mainly so people aren't continuously getting up and down during the meal. However if you can't afford it then you can't afford it.

I always expect to buy my own drinks at a wedding. Anything else is a nice extra.

I think yabu not to provide one drink as a gesture tbh.

My hubby and I don't drink and so we didn't want to pay for alcohol for our guests. We provided free soft drinks on the table and a non-alcoholic drink for the toasts. The venue had a bar for guests to buy any other drinks they wanted (including alcohol). I received no complaints. Hope you have a lovely day.

Not unreasonable and not unusual. As long as guests know ahead of time.

@flouncyfanny fair enough for those questions, would be 28 guests (just immediate family!)
Wouldn't be a formal reception but just a 3 course lunch at a nice(ish) restaurant that we are local too.

We could probably stretch to a few bottles of wine and some soft drinks.

Wouldn't be doing a cake cutting or anything but maybe a short speech from my new husband just to say thank you for coming basically

I wouldn't be bothered by your plan at all. I do think it's nice to be greater by a drink when you get to the reception, how about jugs of Pimms and orange juice. It helps people mingle. Have a lovely day.

It's fine, the important thing is to tell guests what to expect eg if it's a restaurant, say you will pay for the set menu but they are liable for any supplements, and please buy your own drinks at the bar. People do understand but being surprised at a big bill annoys them (still remember that no drinks at all were paid by fil for us, hotel wouldn't take a card from us, only him.

It's a 'how to plan my wedding' question shoehorned into AIBU

OP: here is the topic:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/wedding

I commend it to you - there are lots of threads on weddings on a budget and what are reasonable sensible plans

Who made you the thread police auntiestella?

One glass of fix as a gesture is nice - if they're careful pouring then 5 bottles would do it.

A pay bar is absolutely fine.

It's a completely fine AIBU question, there are other AIBUs on wedding details right now 🙄

I think your plan is fine OP, a first drink or a little Prosecco for a toast would be nice if you can but not essential.

Enjoy your wedding!

I'm not thread police - I was responding to the first sentence in the opening post.

I do realise that others might not agree that the wedding topic, where you can find threads with loads of brilliant ideas including ones for people on narrow budgets, would be a good place for splishandsplash to browse, but as she said she didn't know it existed I thought the link would be helpful

The levels of aggression towards posters in AIBU (not necessarily the OP of a thread, they can go all over the place) can make them less useful than threads in the topic