AIBU to hate the way WhatsApp group messages reveal my number & is impossible to leave a group w/out everyone knowing about it?

[anyhoozle]

What's made me focus on this is getting my 11 yo DD her first phone and we're going to have to say yes to WhatsApp as that's what all her year will be using to meet up etc

My particular bugbears with it are fact that she will be joined into massive group chats even if we/she doesn't want to be & it's difficult enough as an adult to opt out of them w/out looking anti-social/passive aggressive 'Soandso has left' let alone an 11yo wanting to make new friends!

Also fact that her number will be visible on these group chats outside her contacts. Can someone explain how it is I can see who others are in group chats who haven't signed their name & aren't in my list of contacts? Is there any way to change that for our DD and me for that matter?

I want to start a campaign to pressure FB/WA to change these things (Insta have just done a couple of good modifications recently). In the interests of research have you had any bad experiences with either of the above &/or are there other major things you'd like WA to change? Lastly is there a better thread I should move this to I'm a MN newbie, TIA

I am saying that as all the DC in the year download Snapchat they all stop using WA. So usually you end up with some straggler DC who don’t have it (which was mine) and moan continuously that WA is now lame and dead and everyone is using something else

Anyone under 13 found to be using it could have their devices seized

That is the most hilarious thing I have read all day!! Seized by whom? WhatsApp police?

OP it is hard. I have encouraged my DD to mute groups if she didn't want to leave them but she has left some and there has been no fall out. The main thing she/I hate is the waking up to 234 messages all saying wot? Followed by poo emoticons. It is the only 'social media' I let her have (yr 7). And I monitor her phone. Odd I think that it has a 16+ rating and instagram is more problematic in my opinion, and has a lower age restriction. shows the age restrictions are a load of rubbish really. Also refused her TikTok which apparently everyone in the world has (yes I am a horrid parent).

Anyway keep tabs on their phone use and communicate, communicate, communicate is my best approach currently.

Yes but they don't endof

My 17y DD and most of her friends DO have location turned off. At the very least they have it to the setting where only your 'friends' can see you, but many do have it off entirely.

My DD doesn't have WA because of the phone number issue. I have tried to contact WA myself about that update but emails bounced!

I deleted it from my own phone in frustration.

I work with WA. You won't be able to hide your number. That would make it very, very open to abuse - you could be 'anonymous', and therefore it would make bullying and things bigger problems, because no-one would know who it was. WA is built on your number. You can choose not to have a name or image if you don't want to, but if you're on WA, people in groups with you etc will be able to see your number.

There are other apps that don't share your number but generally they have their own massive security flaws, and you'll struggle to get people to move from WA to a random app anyway...

Muting groups and then archiving works quite well if you don't want to leave a group.

Yeah so say your name is Jane, don’t set yourself up on your profile as Jane. Call it J. Don’t give a surname. Don’t have a photo of yourself

You will show up on someone’s phone who does have you saved in their contacts but to anyone who doesn’t you will just be ‘J’ and a number and they won’t know who it is. I never put my surname and my profile picture is not of myself

Rainorsun but with others who have done that I can still see who they are it shows the number in bold then ~Joe Bloggs in the same faint grey text/font.

Because THEY have given themselves that name.
You can choose how you write your name - and that can be just a single character.

That is the name you give yourself on your profile

Ah got it finally must be the heat! Have changed my profile photo and my profile name. Good that has reassured me somewhat and I'll def make sure DD if she does get WA (which I think is the lesser of 3 evils compared to Snapchat which she wouldn't be able to show me and might be tempted to share location etc & Instagram for many reasons) does the same.

Your profile name is not visible to those in group chat until you have sent a message in the group.

bungaloid I realise that but sometimes I want to reply to the person who set up the group and don't mind others in the group who I know knowing my number but don't necessarily want everyone else they happen to have included seeing my number. Can see DD being in the same boat down the line too.