To not want dd's dad to be a part of her life at all?

[Neverbroken]

My now ex and I have had a somewhat rocky relationship, there has been violence, accusations, abuse, cheating, lies and manipulations.

To give you an idea we moved in together in March by April he had changed the locks on our flat where I was the sole tenant and attacked me sitting on my back trying to break my arm to get my keys.

Fast forward to last week I'm at a midwife appointment waiting to be seen when I see a lady he said he was talking to last year when we broke, she began talking about her child's father to her mom he sounded very much like my child's father so I asked her if she was pregnant for him. Which indeed she was due two days after me. Well ended up confronting him he got aggressive at being caught out we drove away police were called. He once again changed my locks, trashed my flat ripped up all my clothes passport photos of my mom (who is deceased), tried to destroy my scan photos.

My social worker has recommended a non molestation order which I'm in the process of getting but I genuinely feel like I don't want him to have access to her at all.

He has had plenty of chances to be a good man/father. He hasn't once bought her anything and if I hadn't asked this lady at the hospital wouldn't even know baby girl had a sibling.

I'm tired of him just bringing stress into my life. Went to my midwife appointment today and they're saying she is small I can't help but feel like its due to all the stress I've endured throughout the pregnancy.

He sounds awful. I don’t think YABU.

What are his intentions for the baby?

You aren't being unreasonable BUT if he takes it court prepare yourself for the fact that 99% of cases he would receive it

Do you have many ties to the area you live in, because a fresh start elsewhere could be the safest option. There's charities that help you resettle elsewhere following domestic violence

I agree. Move away. He is ciolent and dangerous. Please tell me you didnt stay eith him after he tried to
Break your arm?

You're not unreasonable to keep you and your baby safe. Do whatever you need to do, no guilt.

YANBU. Get the non mol and do not name him on birth cert

@StressyDressyHeels he said he wanted us to be a family. He has been to the scans but that's about it. In terms of asking about her or how I'm feeling, future plans like what he planned to do care wise for her etc pretty vague non existent conversation.

The little bit of family that I have are here.

@C0untDucku1a we broke up for a while, I did ask him to come back so we could try and work through issues before baby came as I did want us to be a family too. He said he didn't want to/just yet, was finally getting used to the idea and trying to get everything sorted by myself when he called me on Thursday two weeks ago saying he wanted to come back. This happened the following Tuesday.

Stop trying he won't get better, he will make yours and the babys life miserable.
Cut your losses, move away and don't contact him.

Keep him off the birth certificate.

I would never speak to or see this vile human again! I dread to think what harm he will do next, you need to protect you and your baby, he sounds extremely dangerous x

Yeah my Aunty who is a social worker has said to keep him off the birth certificate.

@Troels I know that now, I feel so embarassed, heartbroken and really just sad that it has gotten to this. I still love him but I literally can't be with him. I don't want to be or be looked at as a bad mother and I want to keep my baby girl safe. Unfortunately it looks like to do that I have to keep her father out of her life and honestly it's crushing me. In glad it's happened before she's actually here but still it's a sad situation. I feel like I can't forgive myself for her having to grow up without a dad.