dilemma

[dea56]

Ok my daughter is at university and was renting a place for £400.00 a month close to the UNI, she met a guy a fellow student and after a while she was spending more time at his place than in her rented accommodation so they decided to move in together.
He lives in his parents second home rent free they share the food bill and he uses her car etc , she was expecting to pay something or contribute to the bills as you would expect, I did say to cover the payment side before moving in but as you know 21 year olds do know best, any way the mother of the boyfriend has asked for £375.00 a month rent which was a bit more then she was expecting the boyfriend seems to agree with his mother.
She is saying that the whole point of moving in together was to give them more money to do things together and that the parents were not intending to rent the house or let to anyone else so if she was to even give £200.00 a month its £200.00 more then they would have had anyway.
personally we have put him on the car insurance and would not ask for anything because as students they are living frugally .
the house is nice but is a bit away from the UNI so she does incur extra travel costs by moving in with him.
just looking for an opinion as for the sake of £25.00 saving I would rather she stayed some where locally and carried on renting as its my money which pays the rent.

I would rather she stayed some where locally and carried on renting as its my money which pays the rent.

She's 21. She can, and will, do as she pleases. You can offer practical/financial advice but ultimately it's her decision to make.

Tell her to look for another property. I would worry that she isn't protected, does she have a tenancy and rights? Because if not I would be very worried about the relationship going sour, and her being without a place to stay.

Ask for money for the insurance or take him off. They really should have spoken about it before she moved in.

Hmm, I'd just carry on giving her the same amount of money as before and let her sort it out, to be honest. She's grown up enough to be moving in with her boyfriend, so she has to live with the consequences of making half-arsed arrangements. She's got the choice to re-negotiate with Mum of boyfriend, move out, or cough up.
Frankly, I wouldn't be happy with this arrangement either, as you've paid for him to be able to use her car, but sounds like she has already moved in.
If they want to be independent of his parents, then they will have to find somewhere of their own, or he should pay half the £375.

What happens when they break up? She should have sorted this out beforehand.

I understand what's his dm is coming from. But 200-250 seems fairer. I assume they are sharing a room.

Her decision, but no, not worth all the risks for such a tiny saving in my opinion. Plenty of danger of things not working out, and then what?

She’s presumably paying much more in travel and insurance costs?

I’d advise her to get another flat/room share so she’s got somewhere to go

I'd give her the same money, it's her choice to move

I'd be asking her to think about a back up plan if they break up. And also to think about how its going to affect them if the bf isn't paying any rent and she is using most of her money on rent. How will that work for them as a couple? Will she be expected to pay 50 50 of everything? How will she feel when he has loads more money than her and disappears off for nights out and holiday and she can't afford to go with him. Does she think it's fair that he didn't mention this at all before they moved in together?

I’d be furious at this - fee for you OP!! Cheeky bloody mother!!!! She’s profiting from their relationship basically. Advise your daughter to live somewhere where she gets a proper tenancy contract and isn’t reliant on the goodwill of her boyfriend’s parents. She would definitely be better off where she was before and her boyfriend should be paying half of any rent they pay on a place together regardless who’s owns it. Honestly, if this was my daughter I’d be livid!! Help her to stand up for herself!!

I think if the son isn't paying anything then she should ask him to split the £375 with her as otherwise she is renting the entirety of their room which they share.

Otherwise I guess it's her choice what she does

Sounds pretty cheeky to me really. What does the £375 cover, is that all bills etc included?

I also think there could be insurance implications and is there any kind of contract?

I assume his parents would do all repairs like normal landlords?

If he's expecting her to pay rent to his parents then really he ought to be paying is way for the car - so paying for his insurance costs, paying towards servicing, MOT, petrol etc. If not then I would start asking for a monthly contribution for that from him (or get your daughter to - depending on who pays for it!)

Tell him how much per month he needs to.pay for the insurance!!

Advise her to step back and find her own accommodation where she'll have security knowing she can't be thrown out at any time.
The boyfriend is agreeing with his mum but happily makes free use of her car, it doesn't sound as though your dd as much of a priority to him as he is to her.

Was she previously paying £400 rent plus bills, & now £375 all in? That could be quite a saving

I agree the boyfriend should be paying half of the £375 as otherwise your DD is paying double for her "half" of the room. However it's really up to her and the bf to sort it out.

I would definitely be charging him for insurance and petrol etching on the car in that case

I agree with you @dea56 your DD needs to be close to uni not dependant upon her bf or his family. Hopefully this years upcoming Maintenance Loan would help with her accommodation costs. She should stay put instead of letting her heart rule her head, his mum sounds grabby.