Hello,
I'm hoping that somebody might be able to advise me on how to help my Dsis in her awful domestic situation. It's a story that pans 20 years, but I'll try to be brief.
She's been with her DP for 20 years, has 3 DC. They aren't married (I know, rookie mistake) and he's always been financially and emotionally abusive. He kept her off the mortgage because of lies he told her, has always treated her badly, calling her names, controlling what she's allowed to put in the house, doing what he wants, when he wants. This abuse also started on my eldest DN about 4 years ago. She is nearly 18 now and has been seeing a councillor because of her dad. She has anxiety and other stress related health problems. Her school know about this.
But here's what's happening now. He's decided he wants her out of the house. Has been packing up her things over the last few months and putting them in the attic whilst she is at work. (he works from home). He is basically erasing her from the house, nothing left in it is hers. She's been chucked out her bedroom as he knees and elbows her in the night and shouts 'f*ck you' loudly in the night. He then said that he can 'stay up all night because he doesn't have to work tomorrow'. My Dsis works FT. It got to the point where she was going to leave, but then a solicitor told her not to, as once she does, she loses all of her rights. So she's told him she's not going and he's amped up the cruelty to the point where yesterday he said in front of the two younger DC that 'Mummy has mental health problems, let's not upset Mummy in case she explodes.' He also told my younger DN14, that her Mummy abuses him. This seems to be the narrative that he is now weaving and my Dsis is terrified everyone will believe him. She's been glossing over everything he's done for so long as she has been conditioned. Then last night, he was jabbing her with pencils from behind, in front of the kids but they couldn't see, and treading on her toes spitefully.
I'm really worried that he's now crossed the line as he's never done anything physical before, but he REALLY wants her to walk away so she's left with nothing and he has the house. It breaks my heart listening to her sob down the phone and I haven't a f*cking clue what I can do to help? I live nearly 2 hours away, have a job and family of my own so my hands are quite tied to physically help.
Any advice at all would be very gratefully received.
TIA x