To not pay for DS's ticket for event.

37 replies

TravellingSpoon · 22/07/2019 17:19

I am taking part in an event next year which will be my 3rd time. DS, who is 18 and will be 19 by then wants to take part also.

I said thats great, we can do it together, no problem and it will be fun. I told him it was around £65 and that once he gave me the money I will book the tickets. He thinks I am being unreasonable as he is a student and will be at university. He has a part time job and earns more than I do an hour, although I obviously work more hours. He has no outgoings except his car and doesnt pay board, instead he pays £100 into a savings account.

AIBU not to pay for him? i do feel a bit mean but then when do I stop?

OP posts:

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 17:59

I wouldn't pay for someone who has more disposable income than I do.

Me either. The fact he is your son is irrelevant. He is an adult who is earning a good wage whilst currently having little to no financial ties such as bills or rent. It's not a huge amount of money so I don't see why he is expecting you to pay for it.

Poppi89 · 22/07/2019 18:01

I think putting £100 away into savings is a fantastic idea!
For me this would depend on your financial situation and what the event is. If it is something you would like him to get involved with then I would pay for him as many people will pay for their adult DCs as a treat eg day out, meal out etc. but if you don't mind if he goes or not then I would get him to pay.
But I can see both sides of this so if it was me I would probably just go halfs

Yesicancancan · 22/07/2019 18:02

The expectation that you should pay is actually quite spoilt. That would annoy me even if I could afford it. He has time to save.

Disfordarkchocolate · 22/07/2019 18:08

He needs to learn how money works and how to budget. He may be your son but it's CF tactics to invite yourself and then tell someone to pay for your ticket. You are being very generous already.

BlueJag · 22/07/2019 18:15

He is used to you paying for everything that's why he is offended.
It doesn't sound like he appreciates all the help and generosity.
He is an adult now. Let him know that he needs to grow up.
I think you are farrrrr to generous. Bad mistake as it doesn't teach him anything.

Each2TheirOwn · 22/07/2019 18:17

I fully agree with @Yesicancancan, was about to write the same thing. It's the expectation that I don't like. He's a working adult who earns his own money so he should pay for his own activities. If he'd asked if you could pay then this may be different but to consider you unreasonable to want him to pay his own way is a no no for me x

MountPheasant · 22/07/2019 18:19

He’s an adult who has requested to come, you didn’t invite him. He definitely pays.

GreenTulips · 22/07/2019 18:24

I agree he should pay. He works, doesn’t pay board, he’s still getting a great deal.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 22/07/2019 18:25

He should give you the money for the ticket and learn to pay his way. You do so much for him and he doesn't seem to appreciate it, judging by his expectations. He's being spoilt.

cranstonmanor · 22/07/2019 19:17

Can you promise him the ticket as a christmas or birthday present?

Pinktinker · 22/07/2019 19:23

YANBU. He should pay board as well and stop being so entitled.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 22/07/2019 19:30

He has a part time job and earns more than I do an hour, although I obviously work more hours. He has no outgoings except his car and doesnt pay board, instead he pays £100 into a savings account.

I think you're already being very supportive, the reality of adult life is that if you want something, you have to pay for it yourself. Especially luxuries, over and above living costs.

With a big chunk of savings I actually think he's been quite cheeky to expect you to fund his participation in the event.

I wonder if you said since he's on a higher hourly wage you think he should pay for both of you what his reaction would be?

Flip

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