Help with my 3 year olds behaviour

[325563354adrvgf]

First time poster here so not sure if I am posting in the right place but I really need some advice on how to deal with my 3 year old LG. She is usually the loveliest and well behaved little girl but the last couple of weeks she has turned into a monster (DEVIL) and I just do not know how to control her any longer or what to do for the best. She is naughty from the second she wakes until she finally falls asleep at night.
Nothing works, time out doesn't work, naughty step does not work, trying to talk with her her doesn't work, shouting at her doesn't work I am at the end of my tether and do not know what to do.
She never listens, she NEVER does as she is told, if you ask her to stop doing something she will do it even more, telling her off she just finds hilarious, she will hit me, throw things scream and shout. I suppose what I am asking is, has anyone had the same issue of a sudden change of behavior that is out of character and how did you deal with it?
She has a loving home with loving parents, I have asked nursery if anything could be causing this they have said no and that she is a lovely, well behaved and polite girl at nursery? Please send HELPPPPPP, advice and wine if you can

My 2.5 yr has been a bit like this lately. According to my siblings with older kids it's age/developmental, he is pushing boundaries but it's much worse when he is a) tired b) hungry or c) has been watching a bit more tv than usual.

Sleep is the most common culprit, is your little one sleeping ok? Mine is in the process if dropping naps but needs a "quiet hour" of stories or tv at about half 1/2pm.

Mine also needs loads of fresh air and activity or boredom makes his behaviour worse. We took him swimming yesterday and on a long walk in the afternoon, I was half expecting tiredness to make his behaviour worse but actually he was better.

Also in terms of behaviour stuff I have found has helped:

• really clear routine and boundaries so that what is expected is crystal clear. Eg 3 episodes of hey duggee or similar after dinner, no more. 3 stories after bath etc. Consistency seems to help.
• immediate consequences linked to behaviour eg. Throwing toy = take toy away on the spot, don't threaten in relation to some thing later on.

My DS just turned four and I found three way harder than the supposed 'terrible twos'. I also have a two year old so I have direct comparison. My beautiful easy-going boy turned into a whingey, whiney, bossy little monster. He's not much better now...

I found that he behaved better out of the house when he was distracted, so lots of time at the park/woods etc and opportunities to run off energy. Consistency also helps - so if he's cheeky or refused to tidy up it does something naughty then he gets sent to his room, every time. One threat and then the follow through. I don't take toys away really because he shares with his brother, but he gets told off and will have things like tv taken away. It sometimes works, sometimes doesn't, but I feel your pain.

She is definitely pushing boundaries thats for sure. She no longer has naps and hasn't since 2 really.
She sleeps really well. 7.30pm until about 7am sometimes later, although she is crying out a lot in her sleep.
I do feel for her during the week as I work and she is at nursery 2 days then mother in law one day and father in law another, then 1 day with me, then its the weekend, so she is passed about a bit but generally her routine is always the same. From Friday she changes, its like she punishes me for working.
I do think maybe screen time could be cut down. I let her watch it for an hour max in a day but its always at the end of the day before bed, but is switched off half an hour before bed and then we read for half an hour. Bedtime routine is the same everyday. Nothing has changed with her routine at all for a very longtime.
I will try with the immediate consequence and confiscating toys and see if that helps.
I wonder if it is a "leap" as such or hormones changing?

She would never stay in her room if I put her there nor on the naughty step. She is so accident prone I am scared of leaving her anyway as she flings herself about during her paddys. She has actually knocked herself unconscious doing it before. (I don't think there is anything wrong with her as that sounds awful). She is a really intelligent girl and understands emotions etc but she doesn't seem to understand when she is being naughty and how it makes us feel if that makes sense. She will always say sorry after and say she wants us to be "happy" its just in that moment she is uncontrollable. Yesterday was alllllllllll day.
I took her out for the day yesterday and she shouted at this little girl that it was her turn to pet the goat, I was actually shocked at the attitude, she has never been like that

She's only 3, not 5 or 6 or 7 so I'm not sure at that age she is really thinking this through and deciding to be naughty.
I think I would be worried that something at nursery or the other homes she goes to is upsetting her and she can take it out on you (because she wouldn't want the other people to be angry with her when she is on her own there and mummy's not there). Try to chat about what she does at the other places. See her response when you talk about the other places (I don't mean convincing her how fun they are, perhaps sound like you have a few misgivings eg does she like her lunch there or something to get onto the subject).

Threenager is a thing,ds definitely hit,hes now 5 but at 3 it was hard

Had it not hit

Queenbee. I do all of that. I always talk about her day with her, ask her if its been ok etc. I do know they say they are naughty for mummy because they can express their feelings freely to us its just getting incredibly testing the last few days as I have just not known how to handle her, and this is purely because she is not normally like this. She has always been a hot head but generally I have always been able to diffuse/distract any situation quickly

3 year olds don't care about your feelings. They barely understand their own feelings, yours are not their concern.

As pp said, consistency is key. Clear routine, clear consequences, plenty of discussion. Involve them in what you're able to - meal prep, plans for the day etc. Lots of fresh air and exercise as often as possible, and remember it's a phase (probably).

I could have written this a few weeks ago!! My 3 year old kept hitting me and then head butted me!

In the end the HV came out, and said that he was just testing boundaries. I should ignore tantrums and we also implemented a reward chart.

We’ve now had 10 days of no hitting!!!

Honestly, I would recommend it. Good luck. It’s bloody painful