My brother is in his mid fifties, he’s charming and funny and has quite a lot of charisma. People have always gravitated towards him. He was never a flirtatious person just attractive.
My SiL is a similar age again a lovely charming lady.
She commented to me a few years ago that my DB was seeming to “turn the charm on” to all sorts of random people, young shop assistants, friends of their daughter etc and it was getting on her nerves. I tried to joke her out of it, and poke a little gentle fun at him saying it’s his middle aged crisis reaction- wanting to check he’s still attractive to women. Both she and I are certain that it’s nothing more serious than that.
My SiL and my DB are very close and work together and share the same hobby so he’s literally no time to have an affair, she has no worries on that score. She says normally they are as happy now as they ever were. Yet this relatively recent behaviour of his Is really upsetting her.
I was at their house last night and witnessed it first hand. I had an old friend over to stay with me and took her with me. My DB remembered her from 20 years ago when I used to bring her home from uni with me. He turned the full blast of his charm on her. Hugging her for just that bit too long, holding her gaze, smiling into her eyes. Making her laugh. She loved it and really responded and started to get quite twinkly herself, flicking her hair about and forgetting that she’s a forty something mum of four.
I thought it was quite amusing until I saw my SiL face.
I guess he’s doing it to prove to himself he’s still attractive, I’ve never seen him do it myself before. He definitely didn’t do it when he was younger.
I just wonder if I should ask him to think about why he’s doing it, if he’s even aware that he is and to stop it for my SiL sake. I think she feels diminished and demeaned when he does it in her company. I really don’t think he understands how it appears to other people. Should I say something to him or just keep out of it?