To not want to go on company away day to build rafts

[Mascarponeandwine]

Just that really. It’s held off site, in the grounds of a Manor House. You are divided into groups of 7 or so, and given tasks to complete, such as survival skills, go carting, gladiator type duals or building a raft sort of thing. Does anyone actually enjoy these things, or are most of my colleagues secretly disliking it too. AIBU to bow out by booking leave? Or am I not being a team player?

Good decision, SpringIsComming. You sound lovely and good luck in your new team.

Gosh girls don't you just come back from these events with a greater respect for and understanding of your team? with a real team spirit that just wasn't there before? doesn't your productivity leap and your corporate loyalty set firm?

Me neither.

@spingiscomming don't do it! It will mean their first impression of you is "decided we should all do some exercise they read in a management book without bothering to get to know any of us". It will be very, very hard to come back from that! If you want them to like and respect you, take biscuits and fruit, listen to them and observe, and after a few weeks start spending time with each person asking for their best improvement ideas...then work together to see if some can be implemented, and be honest where it's not going to happen.

I work in HR and coaching and detest this stuff (raft building etc) when it's deployed randomly. I'm not above using a carefully chosen short exercise in a workshop, but I get to know the team first. It's also not that much more work to design something inclusive that doesn't piss off all the people with visible/invisible reasons for dreading it. By all means get teams to design a raft from junk and use it to transport something the furthest - but make it a balloon you've got to transport, on a 50cm raft, in a local stream for example. As long as you take all your rubbish away, you've got all the "benefits" of the design, planning, group working, healthy (ahem) competition but nobody has to worry about climbing aboard.

I’m joining a new team soon as was planning on making everyone do the spaghetti marshmallow challenge in groups during my first week - it’s office based and only takes an hour - but from the discussion here I’m scared my new team will think I’m a wanker for trying to get them to do an activity.
They definitely will. You'll have zero respect and they'll never work properly for you again. Unless of course their jobs actually involve spaghetti & marshmallows? They don't? Fancy that...

"doesn't your productivity leap and your corporate loyalty set firm?"

No, and if you want loyalty get yourself a dog.

When I am finally put in charge of this country (benign dictatorship), one of my first edicts is banning these things.

@spingiscomming don’t. first get to know them, then decide.
organised fun is great when you are 5 years old with a new teacher, not so much when you are a bit older and have to make up the work you didn’t do during your “ let’s have fun NOW, MY way” thing later on.

These days can also be quite discriminatory or cause needless anxiety and embarrassment. One my manager I looking at has a weight limit of 18 stone, I'm fat but under that however if someone was over 18 stone that could be really humiliating to them.

On our very small team I can't really swim so don't want to be in water and another person has a crippling fear of heights, both very common issues that have potential to cause a lot of unnecessary stress.

Forced 'fun' is always shit though, I'm happy to go on a team lunch- I quite like most of the people I work with- but I don't need to be miserable for a day to bond or whatever.

@spingiscomming bring cake (fond out dietary requirements first). introduce yourself personally to everyone. make sure you remember names. don’t do silly games if you don’t know your audience

Oh god -I’m joining a new team soon as was planning on making everyone do the spaghetti marshmallow challenge in groups during my first week
Don't do it.

To consider another angle, when I was a bright and enthusiastic newly qualified teacher I thought this sort of thing would be ace teambuilding for my new form and would let us discuss team building skills and communication.

What I ended up with was a lot of noise, a lot of mess and nothing taken away from it other than how fun it was that Lola let us make a mess for an hour.

If that's the response from 12 year olds, think how adults will respond.

I love any type of enforced fun! But I am an extreme extrovert and I think these types of days appeal most to people like me. I know loads of people who dread them but I ‘think’ they usually enjoy them once they are there to some extent.

@spingiscomming stick to try baked goods, they will think you're a knob if you turn up with spaghetti and marshmallows.

the only one of these team build/critical thinking challenges I've ever thought 'this is alright' was air drop. it didn't involve getting in a river or eating grass either.

I know loads of people who dread them but I ‘think’ they usually enjoy them once they are there to some extent.

Wrong! I certainly don't, unless you count the part where I get to leave.

@myself2020

I actually know most of the team - I'm transferring into their local office from abroad to head up a new project - so have been working with some of them for 4ish years - I know names, etc but have no idea how their group dynamic works.

Anyhow didn't want to hijack this thread and will start my own at the end of the summer when the time comes for me to provide baked goods fruit and not spaghetti marshmallows and masking tape!

I have done quite a few of these things over the years but not lately. I think they are considered a bit old hat now - how is abseiling down a cliff face, as I had to do one time, helping me bond with anything other than my fear of heights?! I am not a fan but thankfully now work in the public sector and we have no money for this sort of nonsense!

If they can bring in Russell Crowe for the day I'd do something gladiatorial otherwise sod off.
I can't believe companies do this shit in this day and age.

Why do teams need special days anyway? I don't need to be best buddies with my colleagues in order to work with them. I spent years working together even with people I hated and did my job without any of this nonsense.

Oh God do these things still happen...corporate bollocky “team building” = David Brent. Find the whole “fun” concept vomit inducing and excruciatingly patronising - get out if you can.

I don't need to be half way up the company's arse either in order to do my job.

In an old job, I skipped the team building scavenger hunt after a morning of sitting around conference tables talking about corporate nonsense.

I went to the pub instead and then back to my hotel to read my new book and order Deliveroo! Nobody ever noticed. That was a couple of jobs ago and I’m sure monody there would even remember my face or name now! It has no bearing on my life.

Even the thought of some of these is making me feel panicky. So many activities loved by boisterous extroverts forced on normal people who have already bonded over the crap coffee at work/evil receptionist/weird cat lady in the corner/shared hatred of the head of HR. I have a few issues from my past which means most of these are just not possible, who wants to explain to their boss that they don't want to go an escape room because they have a fear of not being able to leave a room quickly because someone once attacked them. Not me.

I spent a week of my life and my own money to gain a lifeguarding qualification almost entirely to be able to decline such events on the basis that once you've trained with a group of strangers to lift a suspected spinal injury victim from the pool safely in seconds, there's not much more to learn about teamwork. It's worked twice since then

It's also a handy fact to bring up when people wibble on about "giving 110%"

Couldn’t think of anything worse. My old company did this and all it gave me was a new found hatred for them after getting freezing cold and piss wet through

I'm one of the few people who loves these things. When my company do stuff like this those of us who like them try to make sure that the groups are evenly spread so that each one has 2 or 3 who do like it - they can do the tasks while the other ones sit around grumbling about being out of the office.
Often they want to be on my team because I've been on loads of these things and my company always gives prizes for 1st, 2nd and 3rd placed teams plus other spot things. They are always Amazon vouchers (best one was once around 70 quid). Then we have a boozy BBQ paid by the company which everyone likes.

I feel bad for those who don't like it, but we mix up the teams so usually I get to know a few of the quieter people and have made some good connections/friends that way.

(It helps because I'm an ex-military bossy assertive extroverted type)

I don't know anyone who enjoys awaydays. I have been on many and have never gained anything from any of them.
They have all been a waste of time and money. The worst was when the facilitator/organiser was a bully, he made anyone late back from breakout sessions sing in front of the whole group. Even though there were j often valid reasons for someone being a couple of minutes later rahn others. It was horrible, someone refused to sing and the whole event turned into a discussion of that event. Certainly no bonding took place!