To think being ill doesn't mean you can be rude?

[SquishedPheasant]

Visited DM and DF today, it's a 70 mile trip in total. Arrived DM said hello and fussed our little one. DF who is suffering from tinnitus and a ear infection was playing a game on his phone. Didn't look up, didn't say hello. We stayed about 15 minutes and I signaled to DP that we left, no goodbye nothing. I mentioned it to DM and she said oh his ear is hurting. AIBU to think if your family visits you at least have the decency to say hello/goodbye.

Feeling really hurt and upset by it

Personally I would cut him some slack.

Being forced to socialise when you're in pain really isn't fun at all.

YANBU @SquishedPheasant

There’s a difference between not being overly chatty and forgetting the common courtesy of saying ‘hello’.

I blew my eardrum out a few years ago and it led to inner ear infection and inflammation of the eustatian tube. I was in absolute agony and painkillers barely touched it.

I didn’t use this as an excuse to blank my friends or family though. If your Dad wasn’t up to visitors he could have said so before you went to visit. The only thing I can think of is - did he maybe say to your Mum he wasn’t up for it but she insisted on you coming as she wanted to see you?

I ask this because my Mum and Step-Dad can be like this sometimes (he’s been my Step-Dad for over 15 years and we are close). He suffers from a myriad of medical issues including chronic sciatica and one time I had a visit planned a few weeks in advance, on the day he had a really bad flare up and wasn’t up for seeing anybody. Mum didn’t listen and when I arrived with DH and DC in tow he was more than frosty in his behaviour. His annoyance at my Mum insisting my visit go ahead as planned kind of spilled over - if that makes sense?

@Glitterkitten24 oh you poor thing. I had that a few times and got the buggers taken out. Try swishing with as hot as you can stand salt water, even hot tap water is good. Every half hour it dies help, I had it over new year one year and was swilling my mouth with neat vodka!

I don't know how old your father is but when my DF started behaving a little bizarrely it was the start dementia although we didn't realise that for years. Maybe be a little more patient and aware that he may be more unwell than you realise.

I think you need to speak to you df. I once had an ear infection in both ears and was almost completely deaf. It was awful that I couldn't hear a thing people were saying, as well as being excruciatingly painful. I can sympathise with your father a bit. He might not have realised you were there.

Oh I see, he DID know you were there. I still think you should cut him a bit of slack, as ear infections are the worst!. Let him know how you feel at his frosty reception. I agree, YANBU; your DF could have at least acknowledged you even if he wasn't feeling so great. It's very rude of him since you went all that way to see them.