To let my 15 ds get a train from Birmingham uni to Birmingham New Street then Euston Station on the train on his own?

[Owlbabie5]

Dp and Ds insisting he’ll be fine. I’m feeling twitchy. He has never been to Birmingham. We’d pick him up at Euston.

Well you’ll have to remain baffled

Apparently so, as you can't or won't give any actual answer to the question which I and others have asked.

when I went to university at 18, I was truly astonished to meet some other first years who it seemed had literally no experience of doing anything independently.

they were the ones who who spent their first year getting into a never-ending series of disasters as they had never been trusted to develop any life skills.

I always wondered how people reached 18 like that. I'm starting to understand it now.

@BertrandRussell
At what age do you stop “letting” a child do things like travel on a train alone and start assuming they going alone unless they say something about wanting someone to go with them?

I think that the more pertinent question her is: at what age does your child just start lying to you and doing things you have no idea about because you don't allow them the basic freedom and independence that all of their peers will take for granted?

SirToby ooh glad to hear the lavs are now free. Haven't used Euston for several months - we've switched to National Express coach because I can't stand Euston so much!

Ffs, collaterly, this boy clearly has a lot of ability to do things independently already.

But not apparently to get a tube across central London, because it's 'too crowded' and needs a parent to 'evaluate' it according to some mysterious criteria.

You’re way too over invested in this and clearly ignoring the huge amount of things he does independently including the two legs of the journey before. Now that is baffling.

So? He's 15. By the time he might actually need to do that, I've little doubt he'll be entirely capable and confident. He's probably a bit ahead of the curve for a non-Londoner.

A 15-year-old whose mum won't let him get the tube on his own because it's "too crowded" isn't ahead of any curves, Errol

Yes, they are Collaterly, for anyone who lives outside of a big city.

I think it's a great opportunity to learn a lifeskill OP and if you don't live in the capital it's not easy to find them, so go for it.

Next time he can do the tube too.

@munemema I find it really difficult to believe that young people outside London are so different from young people in London that they can't do things that are routinely done by children 5 or 6 years younger than them.

In any case, the OP didn't think he should do the other parts of the journey either. And she's still being mysteriously enigmatic about what exactly it is she thinks her husband needs to 'evaluate' before her son (who on his next birthday will be old enough to get married, leave school, or join the army) can travel a few stops on the tube on his own .

It would be one thing if she said that her son didn't want to do it. She's never once said that. Just that she doesn't want him to, so he can't. No reasons, no explanation, no justification, no consideration of what this almost-adult young man might actually be capable and willing to do.

She sounds more like the parent of a 5-year-old than a 15-year-old.

@CollaterlyS1sters How is it so difficult to understand that children won't be confident dealing with something they've never experienced?

My children (and me) could manage the tube but they wouldn't know where to start with a rural bus service (or a tractor) which would be quite usual for children raised in other places.

@munemema @CollaterlyS1sters How is it so difficult to understand that children won't be confident dealing with something they've never experienced?

1. The OP has already said that her DS is brilliant at navigating the tube and that they have visited London before and he was in charge of navigating for the entire family.

So he absolutely has 'experienced' it before.

1. Even if he hadn't, the tube is an absolutely crystal-clear, incredibly easy-to-manage travel system.

1. The OP refuses to say why she refuses to let him do something as basic as travelling on his own. It's NOT that her son is 'not confident'. It's that she 'doesn't want him to'. Because apparently it's 'too crowded' - although she hasn't explained what exactly she imagines would be the problem with this. And hasn't responded to the people who have pointed out it won't even be crowded at 8.30pm

My children (and me) could manage the tube but they wouldn't know where to start with a rural bus service (or a tractor) which would be quite usual for children raised in other places.

You wouldn't know where to start with a rural bus service? Huh? Why not?

My kids and I are Londoners. I don't drive. We use buses, trains, and other local transport when we go away in the UK (and abroad).

What do you imagine is complicated about using a rural bus service? You literally look up the route, find the nearest bus stop and what time it stops there, and get on it.

I kind of think you could probably manage that -no?

find it really difficult to believe that young people outside London are so different from young people in London that they can't do things that are routinely done by children 5 or 6 years younger than them

You know these young children doing these things routinely? Maybe they are confident and capable in doing them independently thanks to the years of experience of doing them with their parents. Pick up those uber sophisticated London kids and drop them in totally different surroundings, you think they'd still feel confident and as if what they needed to do now was just routine and normal? Of course not.

Even if he hadn't, the tube is an absolutely crystal-clear, incredibly easy-to-manage travel system.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. You are insane.

@icannotremember
Pick up those uber sophisticated London kids and drop them in totally different surroundings, you think they'd still feel confident and as if what they needed to do now was just routine and normal? Of course not.

I grew up in London. Never been even slightly fazed by a transport system or navigating around a city or the countryside anywhere.

It's not about 'new surroundings'. It's about being allowed enough independence and freedom to carry out tasks that are well, WELL within the capabilities of a child several years younger.

My grandparents had all left school and were working (in London) by 12 or 13 years old. Same for my husband's family in the Welsh valleys. The idea that a young person who is nearly old enough to be considered an adult has to be 'uber sophisticated' to make a simple journey by tube is so far from reality.
No wonder there are so many students at university who can't manage the most basic tasks without expecting their parents to step in for them.

@icannotremember Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. You are insane.

What a wonderful content-free ad hominem post.
Would you like to try to explain using actual words what you think is difficult about the tube?
A travel system that is known throughout the world for the clarity and simplicity of its signage and maps?

routinely done by children 5 or 6 years younger than them.

Ok... so you'd let a 9 yo travel from Birmingham to London, arriving 8:30 if the train is on time, and then get to Heathrow?
Well, maybe that's normal for Londoners but most of us are happy for our youngsters to become independent travellers a bit more gradually than that. So long as they can do what they need to travel-wise at the point they actually need to, what's the hurry?

Ok... so you'd let a 9 yo travel from Birmingham to London, arriving 8:30 if the train is on time, and then get to Heathrow?

Obviously that's not what I meant, don't be silly.

As I said, i was referring to the fact that many kids in London travel to school by tube, often across town.

I started travelling to school by tube a couple of weeks after my 11th birthday (I'm the youngest in my year).

So 5 or maybe nearly 6 years younger than this person.

As I've also said repeatedly, There's a huge difference between him saying he doesnt want to travel alone and what is happening here, which is the op refusing to even give him the option.

So long as they can do what they need to travel-wise at the point they actually need to, what's the hurry?

Don't you think that a 15 year old might make those decisions for themselves, rather than having their mum unilaterally decide for them?

15!!

@ErrolTheDragon
Btw on my first ever tube journey alone, I was 9 or maybe just 10 and had to get the tube from a friend in Amersham (way outside London) into Baker st, then change to the metropolitan line to kings x, then onto the northern line northbound.

A journey I'd never done before.

There was a bomb scare (this was the late 80s) and Baker st was evacuated. No mobile phones in those days.

I had to find a phone box, call my parents at home, and they told me what buses to get.

So yeah... I don't think expecting a 15 year old to travel a few stops with a mobile phone is asking much.

Yawn.

I don’t know many 5 year olds who are permitted to get the train and a connection from a city they’ve never been to to London.

I’m happy with my ds, he is über independent and achieving well in all areas of his life.

He’ll do the tube alone but not on this occasion. I don’t need to explain why and refuse to be bullied by an obsessed poster into it.

Any time you fancy ditching your ds in the middle of Dartmoor with a map and no phone at 8.30pm feel free. Pretty sure kids over the ages faced similar.Mine could certainly handle it.

FYI rural transport is harder than city. You don’t have countless options every 5 minutes. You get one an hour if lucky. They are often late, not on your doorstep and you need to be creative. Ds took the train from 2 cities in order to get back home when school closed early last week. Involved a long walk and organisation on his part.Nevertheless he still won’t be doing the tube on this occasion.

Good grief @CollaterlyS1sters . Let it go. What is the matter with your comprehension ?
Everything has been explained, and re-explained. You might be a genius at navigating transport since you were 3, but it seems you are struggling a bit with understanding anyone else's perspective. That in itself, is ironically a great example of how we are all different.

What is the matter with your comprehension ?
And maths is a bit weak...

He will be old enough to get married in a year! So, yes, it's fine

Hi @Owlbabie5 - just a tip for when he's at New Street... when he gets off the train, if he walks down to the 'B' end of the platform before going up the stairs or escalator, (- as opposed to going up at the 'A' end -), he won't need to go through any barriers to change platform and it'll just be an easy straight line to the other platform :)

The new New Street is lovely and worth a look around, but if he wants to keep it simple, the B end is the way to go