Ok let me try and give as much info as possible (have name changed so I can do so)
MIL is a lovely woman, I trust her with my kids and I like her.
FIL is ok, he is very stubborn and bullheaded and DH has always had a difficult relationship with him.
My issue is that we have a 5 year old and a 1 year old who totally adore each other.
Our 5 year old stays overnight occasionally at his grandparents and he loves doing things with his grandma, she is great! However...
FIL has been making little comments recently and today my 5 year old picked up on them finally and it's upset him.
Comments like oh 1 year old had a nice time without you, 1 year old hasn't missed you, 1 year old has had fun without you. Etc etc etc.
Now DH always corrects him at the time and says things like no 1 year old loves you very much, she missed you.
We are very open about encouraging the children to have a good relationship as neither of us have great relationships with our siblings which is sad.
In-laws do a lot for us, take kids on day trips, babysit a lot etc and we are very grateful but I am getting very upset about the way my 5 year old is spoken about / to.
The thing is, FIL means it in a joking way but his humour is so off beat that people don't get him, I have seen him upset many people like this when he's made a joke and they didn't get that he was joking.
My AIBU is... FIL won't listen to DH or me, he's an alpha male type who thinks he knows best but he will listen to MIL.
Would I be unreasonable to have a talk with MIL and mention this all and get her to talk to FIL?
Last thing I want is to start ww3 or have to stop the kids going when FIL is there.