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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to go on holiday?

12 replies

quitefranklyivehadenough · 21/07/2019 20:45

NC for this.
Brief backstory DP had an EA 2 years ago. I found out and our 14 year relationship very nearly ended because of it. I'd like to say we'd worked hard to make it work but aside from him (until now) not appearing to be up to anything nothing else has changed.
Friday evening we were at a school function and I'm chatting to some school mums and realise he's not around. I go looking for him and he's stood in the corner of the school hall on his phone. He hangs up when he sees me coming over then immediate goes on the defensive about not knowing anyone there. I told him he's being ridiculous and he storms off in the car leaving me and my youngest daughter there. After an hour I text him to come back as we want to go home.
No explanation not a word spoken Friday night. Very little said Saturday or today. He takes himself to the gym at 4pm today and rolls in at 7.30pm with empty McD's bag. Just as I take his dinner out the oven!!
I'm fuming (not just at the wasted dinner) but his general attitude this past week.
I've told him I'm not going on holiday next Sunday. I can't think of anything worse right now.
Yes I know there are bigger issues and I suspect I will be calling time on things once him and children come back from hols

OP posts:
NoSauce · 21/07/2019 20:52

Did you find out what he was doing on the phone? Sorry I don’t understand why you don’t want to go on holiday? Is there more to this story?

quitefranklyivehadenough · 21/07/2019 20:56

@NoSauce he said it was "no one". Very much like how he behaved 2 years ago when I discovered his EA.
I'm struggling to be around him right now

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 21/07/2019 20:58

You’re sending him on holiday with the dc? You go, girl!

quitefranklyivehadenough · 21/07/2019 21:00

@Cherrysoup no point in spoiling it for the kids!! Alternatively he can stay home and I'll take them!!

OP posts:
NoSauce · 21/07/2019 21:04

You go with the dc OP. Take some time out.

drinkygin · 21/07/2019 21:06

What was his reaction to you saying you’re. It going on holiday? In all honestly I’d take the kids and leave him at home.

quitefranklyivehadenough · 21/07/2019 21:08

@drinkygin no reaction he started rearranging a perfectly arranged bookshelf! Now gone to scoop leaves out the pool and I've gone to bed.

OP posts:
Milly345 · 21/07/2019 21:22

What’s Ea

quitefranklyivehadenough · 21/07/2019 21:25

@Milly345 it's an emotional affair. He got "involved" with someone online but they didn't meet

OP posts:
Milly345 · 21/07/2019 21:27

I’m sorry.
You need to be happy. You only get this one life x

SuzieQ10 · 21/07/2019 21:53

Sorry to hear this.
At least you're taking a stand, and not letting him walk all over you with this crappy behaviour.
If it were me (and I know MN disapproves!) I'd have a good look through his phone for any evidence of current affair. As evidence incase he tries to make a separation difficult. People don't usually go to the gym for a proper work out and eat a big Mac Donald's afterwards..

quitefranklyivehadenough · 21/07/2019 22:00

@SuzieQ10 yes I intend to. That's how I got the evidence the last time.
Strangely I think he did actually go to the gym-chlorine soaked towel etc but no doubt furtive texts and calls to her too. I was upset when it happened before but I'm not this time. Think this tells me it's time to call it a day x

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