To wish I didn't have a garden

[Wildernessgarden]

I know I am and just need reminding that I should be grateful. But my stomach lurches just looking out the window. Not sure I'll ever get it sorted.

I hate gardening and I don't know where to start. It's like a jungle. There is barely any lawn left, few patches of grass, mostly 2 foot high weeds. Huge out of control trees, overgrown hedges and some crazy vine that covers every thing. Several broken fence panels. Random raised bits. The concrete paths are cracked and mossy. Rotting falling apart sheds. Front and back.

I used to be a gardener, and I was expecting horrors reading your OP- but you could have that garden looking miles better in very little time. If you're not a natural gardener and you just want somewhere tidy for the children to play, buy secateurs and a strimmer and rip up everything in sight. Put bamboo or reed screens along the broken fence for now. Post on local FB groups, there's two young lads of about 20 where I am who do a very reasonable line in whack and go garden maintenance on the cheap.

Will tackle the bindweed first. Will do a bit of a Google to read about it too.

Your garden looks nicer than many. I don’t think I will be that big of a job once you get cracking. And I bet your dc will be helpful with it too.

I didn't mean to exaggerate. When friends visited they reacted like it was very bad.
But they have very neat homes and gardens and live places where the neighbours are quite "keeping up with the Jones". Thankfully my area isn't like that.

weeding is actually very enjoyable. getting my bum off the sofa is the hard part. also a hedge trimmer and a strimmer make light work of a lot of it.

I've just re read my OP and looked at the photos and I do feel like I had lost perspective!

Once you’ve got it a bit more under control you can encourage your DC to grow vegetables. My mum did this. I had my own row of carrots - decided it was mean to thin them and instead had Sindy carrots etc. We were also each allowed an (on reflection hideous) garden ornament - mine was a life size rabbit made of some sort of plaster that I hid peeping out of the undergrowth. I still remember how exciting it was!!!

I feel your pain OP, I just started to tackle my jungle this weekend, I have a mower and some shears and gardening gloves for pulling up all the nettles, etc. Did 45 mins yesterday and same again today, it’s going to take several more days and hope I can keep the momentum going. I have ignored it for months so have all the autumn leaves from last year as well as everything sprouting everywhere, all of it weeds. I keep telling myself that if I can blitz it now it’ll be easier to keep on top of. Get stuck in and good luck!

Can I make a plea that before you start to attack hedges and trees you make sure that there are no birds still nesting. Nesting season runs until the end of August.

Yes there are definitely birds nesting in my trees. (And where the bricks are missing above one of my windows!) I think the bushes are clear but I'll check.

user well done on starting. I'm a terrible procrastinator.

The ideas and encouragement have helped. I've told DC we're going to get cracking and they are pretty good at holding me to my word.

Going to reread for tips.

That’s why I asked you to post pictures, I’ve seen this before on here, you’re not alone It can often feel insurmountable as you know you’re the one who has to do it, then friends say things as yours have that reinforce it and make you feel worse.

Agree with the others about starting on the bindweed, will make a big difference for not a huge amount of effort and hopefully you’ll then feel better about tackling the rest. It is going to be really lovely when sorted and hopefully you and the DC will have a lovely time out there.

How do you feel about using this thread as a bit of a picture diary? I’ve found when clearing things it’s good to have pictures to look back on to keep you feeling motivated? I often do what I cal kettle gardening - a quick dash outside whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. Then it doesn’t seem like i’m Doing anything really.

Have you thought about what sort of garden you’d like? My friend has had her first ever border put in and we’ve bought things such as a flower carpet rose which you can hack at with shears every so often and not have to worry about pruning in a certain way, geranium Roxanne as it just does it’s own thing for a good few months, penstemon and hydrangea . You could think about some fruit trees in the autumn maybe and next year your DC could grow some sunflowers.

I think it looks great, one big blitz would make a massive difference! I can also see why your kids like it out there, it is the perfect garden for them to play in, not too manicured and plenty of places to explore and hide in.
A little bit of TLC and it will be great. If the previous owners were gardeners then there is possibly a lot of interesting planting under the bind weed, personally I would start with that, cut it back and see what it is hiding.

Do watch out for wildlife while you're tidying though! Re- wilding our gardens is actually a thing now, so leaving long patches of grass and sowing wildflower seeds means it only needs cutting once or twice a year! If you watch the week before last's Gardeners World they have a programme on it.

Also lots of flowering shrubs are low maintenance and look pretty. Keep taking photo's as you work, it can be inspirational to see how you are improving things.

I feel your pain Op...15 years ago me and husband bought this house....he was more keen than me due to its huge mature garden...well 6 years ago he buggered off and im left with a falling down house and a garden i simply cannot keep on top off...I have no family and a low paid job so i cant afford to pay someone....it is a nightmare x

I'm the same OP. I have a massive back garden (Well for me). Full of branches at the bottom, overgrown grass and bushes and hedges. Had a vixen with 7 cubs camp out there in spring, with big den dug in as it's so we'll hidden for them. The foxes have all gone now. I too got this house with an ExP - it was a doer upper. He left 3 years back after having done nothing, so I'm left with a run down house, needing loads of work and a too big for me garden. I plan on trying to tackle a little at a time. Only have a garden bin collection once a fortnight so I'm limited there anyway.

That isn't that bad, its easily fixable with a bit of time

I would use the strimmer first to just bring everything shorter and easier to then see and manage.

Then try and tackle a small area each evening to de-weed. Once weeded, water ground, add fresh grass seed. Repeat through the garden each evening.

Once its alltied back you can look at adding some pots near the house or small raised bed areas if you want to plant anything as this will contain it in easier to manage areas.

How old are your children? once its tidied up and more managable, the best way to keep it like that is continual keeping on top of it. if children are old enough, I would maybe try giving them a job each in the garden in exchange for pocket money.

Don't feel bad OP at feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Most of us do before we start what looks like a big job.

I think when you start to clear back a lot you'll be impressed with the space you've created.

Definitely include the children.

Think of the next set of photos you will put up and all the praise that will be heaped upon you by MN randomers!😁

You could look out some stuff by Monty Don for ideas, it could look really fab once you're done with it :)

It doesn't actually seem that bad, but sympathies, we have that white flowered weed and it does my head in how fast it grows. It's relentless.

My justification is that the kittens love playing in the overgrown borders and they would lose a lot of fun if it was all cut back nicely.

Also the bees like the clover in the grass and, you've got to help the bees, right?

That's not bad at all. The convolvulus (bind weed) is easy to pull up but persistent. If you have a car, buy a couple of builder's bags from B&Q or similar, fill with rubbish and take to the tip. Just don't overfill so you can't drag them/hoick them into the car.

Long day yesterday so didn't get a chance to acknowledge the posts but it was good to read through. I won't realistically get a chance to start until the weekend. Will try to keep photos and track progress. There are a couple of relatives who would probably enjoy getting photos.

My ideal garden would be quite wild but with colour. There is a garden nearby filled with big bright roses that always makes me smile when we pass it.

I thought about some wild flower seeds for the raised bit at the back.

In all seriousness OP: chickens.

Bloody brilliant pets, plus they eat plants and scratch up bindweed. My lawn has never looked so good and I have no more dandelions.

Kiss goodbye to anything small and tender but stuff like lavender and roses will survive.

Plus: free eggs! And they are very entertaining to watch, and can be tamed like dogs (we have one which will perch on my daughter’s shoulder like some sort of mad parrot).

Try and do one bit at a time I would - if you pull up all the weeds everywhere but then don't get to planting everywhere the weeds will just come back (as they have in my teeny garden). Plus lots of weeds are good for wildlife/insects, that's my excuse for leaving them :)

There are websites where people with no garden or small gardens sign up and people with "extra" garden also sign up and the one who wants to garden uses a patch of your garden to grow veg etc, which would take care of some of yours (plus they share some of the veg).

Your kids also might like to have their own fruit and veg patch, get them more interested in food etc too.

Also you could have a specific area at the bottom which you leave for wildlife - wild flower seeds, hedgehog house, bug hotels, piles of sticks etc. Will also mean more pollinators for the rest of the garden.

Oh and old carpet (try freecycle or similar) can be laid down to supress weeds.

You've inspired me to get out in my own garden today!