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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Autisim - biggest issues?

59 replies

EdtheBear · 21/07/2019 11:36

Reading various threads on ASD and trying to understand it a bit better.

People who have it or are very close to people with it. What would you say it affects you?

OP posts:
EdtheBear · 21/07/2019 21:26

When I say not perfect, what I really meant is he lacks focus, and concentration but he's very social and will talk to everybody and anybody.

He seems to cope fine with changes to routine. Maybe because me and routine don't go together. Doesn't have any noticeable sensory issues.

OP posts:
EggysMom · 21/07/2019 21:33

Our son actually loves changes to routine! But he lacks focus too, and is non-verbal with severe learning difficullties. He only gets anxious if he cannot listen to one of his toys, which is his 'stim'.

As is clear from the answers above, every autistic person is different.

Medicaltextbook · 21/07/2019 21:51

As others have said each person with autism is unique. I have recently posted about problems communicating. I was diagnosed with autism as an adult.

I find interacting in unknown situations very hard. I’m ok when I know how a conversation should go - like going to the doctor or buying things in a shop. It makes me ok with professionals and I was ok with the academic side of school. (I don’t have learning difficulties.) I think this affected diagnosis- we tried when I was a teenager and they said I was shy.

However unstructured conversation is very hard. I don’t understand about how conversation really works. I have no friends. I barely manage at work with colleagues.
I have meltdowns that are dreadful and embarrassing for me, but more for my parents. This happens when I get stressed coping with interaction.

I need routine and for things to happen as arranged.

I am sensitive to smell and can’t cope with certain fabric- lace and wool are particularly bad, as are some clothes labels on my neck.

I feel very sorry for my DParents having me (I’m only child.)

Merryoldgoat · 21/07/2019 22:06

@thecatsarecrazy

Oh wow! Very similar Smile

Merryoldgoat · 21/07/2019 22:13

@Medicaltextbook

I can’t speak for your parents but my son is a joy - it’s hard sometimes, but I love him more than I can describe.

It’s human nature to think of our perceived flaws when we think of ourselves, but it’s not generally how other people view us and I bet your parents love you very much.

progestermoan · 21/07/2019 22:17

Meltdowns and shutdowns are the biggest ‘problem’

The cause can be anything or nothing but often is rooted in some kind of anxiety, occasionally sensory issues but mostly anxiety driven.
Perfectionism is a huge problem which spirals into anxiety then upset then meltdown

Merryoldgoat · 21/07/2019 22:27

When I say not perfect, what I really meant is he lacks focus, and concentration but he's very social and will talk to everybody and anybody.

This describes my son too. He received his diagnosis at 5 and has had it around a year now.

The EP said that much of how affected he will be and in what areas won’t be clear until he’s older and we see how much of his ‘quirkiness’ is Autism and how much was ‘being 5’.

He’s changing almost weekly and is definitely able to concentrate more and socialise better, but the diagnosis has helped him access support in school and allow them to make concessions for him where necessary.

He’s also aware of his diagnosis - we told him so it wasn’t a bombshell later and he’s embraced his ‘different awesome mind’.

Most people express disbelief when I tell them, as on the surface, he’s typical of a six year old.

However once he’s described how an engine works, told them the USA state capitals and had a meltdown because of a bad smell, they start to see it.

LipstickForADogwalk · 21/07/2019 23:06

For us, my son “doesn’t look autistic” 🙄 so people (school, specifically) take their eye off the ball, because he’s managed well for a while, so they assume he’s coping. Until he doesn’t... Also he doesn’t like leaving the house, so it’s impossible to do anything together as a family, which is really hard as we have other children so I tend to stay at home with him and DH takes the others out. Not great.

myidentitymycrisis · 21/07/2019 23:19

The triad of impairment are: social interaction, communication (verbal and non verbal), rigidity of thought.

The most recent DSM (V) includes sensory issues now in the diagnostic criteria as so many people have these as well as the triad.

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