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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you all to give me a verbal shake. Anxiety.

9 replies

RunningFeisty · 21/07/2019 10:48

I know I sound ridiculous and I am aware I am being massively unreasonable.

Next month I am going to Belgium to meet DP's family. We have a daughter together who is almost 2 years old. On one of the days we are there DP's paternal aunt is having a party in her back garden, okay we say, we would love to come, DP's mom is letting us borrow her car.

DP's dad and his girlfriend say, don't do that, we will give you a lift! Oh no, don't worry! We explain that we will have the use of the car and with little one going through a screechy fussy phase, I feel it would be better if we can if needed, just jump in the car and go back to DP's moms where we are staying, if we need to come and put little one to bed etc.

They. Won't. Accept. This. Keep saying, no we are going to pick us up and thats that, and DP's making fruitless efforts to tell them no (he isn't the best at speaking up for himself)

It has pathetically enough triggered a massive anxiety attack in me, and I hate the way they are trying to dictate how we get to this party, it is so daft!

I'm being so unreasonable aren't I.

OP posts:
RunningFeisty · 21/07/2019 10:49

Sorry, accidently posted this thread twice

OP posts:
PorterBella · 21/07/2019 10:57

Can you ask them to reassure you that they'll drop you
back 'home' if Dd plays up?

I'm sure people there will understand if your Dd plays up -
it's what toddlers do and it sounds like there'll be enough adults there
to try to distract her or want to entertain her.
I'd go with Fil tbh and think - on his head be it.

I do get how awful anxiety is, I found lavender tablets do make a
significant difference to my anxiety.

Cobblersandhogwash · 21/07/2019 11:00

People being forceful like this really piss me off.

You've told them no thank you. Why can't they just accept it?

I wouldn't be anxious. I'd be irritated and I would firmly tell them myself that they are very kind but that I would prefer to use the car offered.

CluelessMummyToBe · 21/07/2019 11:16

Sounds like they are trying to be helpful and maybe not really understanding why you want to drive yourselves. I’d say you might need to be a bit more assertive/clear in your responses. And if you want to drive yourselves just don’t get in their car on the day. I don’t think this is something to be worried about, although I get that anxiety is not always rational like that. Hope you enjoy your trip Smile

chipsandgin · 21/07/2019 11:19

Is it the kind of distance where you could get a cab/Uber back if you’d had enough & they could drive back later?

sackrifice · 21/07/2019 11:24

'Hi, no we are good thanks. See you there'.

RunningFeisty · 21/07/2019 17:31

Thanks for the kind messages, Dp has spoken to them again and they have backed down to telling us to see how we feel on the day.

OP posts:
buttertoasty · 21/07/2019 17:46

No YANBU it's extremely pushy given that you have a damn good reason to have your own transport there.

Stand your ground on it.

Robotlady · 21/07/2019 17:50

Nope YANBU. I would be exactly the same.

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